I remember last June,
The way the water kisses the sand
I remember getting lost in the sea of your eyes,
I remember the joy you brought to mine
I remember last September,
The way the leaves fell to the ground
changing colors, hoping to be unrecognizable
I remember last December,
The chills that were sent up my spine when my bare feet touched the tile floor
I remember being kissed by your dark brown lips and having goosebumps rise on my skin
I remember you every season,
in hopes that you'll remember me too.

Each day I live, the pain consumes
What little sanity I have bloomed
Like walking in a cloud of fog
Falling down, sinking into smog

Life just seems grim
I think on a whim
Interest lost in everything I do
But what a life, who really knew?

Depressed to a fault, that all I see
Death just seems like the only way for me
A waste of time, I feel I am
But that's its nature, a full mind jam

I try and try to ease the pain
A fallen effort with no gain
Thoughts begin to eat away
Makes me want to end it today

Uncomfortable around others for the way I feel
I pray and wish this all wasn't real
Life just seems more like a prison
Caged, alone, an abomination risen

No one could ever understand
Why I would want my death sooner than planned
Its not something I want for me
But to end my suffering this is what has to be

So I write this all as I fall from grace
Down to this place, some barren waste
I know not how much longer I will last
But all I can do, is pray that this will just pass.

Nobody knows how different I am
The outside of me is not afraid
Not full of pain, or even ashamed
I smile and all of those ignorant fools believe
Of course nothing could be wrong with me
My eyes are dry, I do not shed tears
For that gift was taken away from me dear
I laugh and talk and play along
Keep on existing as if nothings wrong

Nobody knows how different I am
The inside of me is hollow and empty
Do not fret my dear, for I do not want your pity
I'm tattered and broken beyond repair
My heart is crumbling and full of despair
I'm bloodied and beaten and not really living
I just go through the motions and continue existing
I'm scared and lost, clueless as can be
Is there no one out there to help me

Nobody knows how different I am
And that will never change

born under the moon and stars
only to live as a root in unhealthy soil
with hopes of one day blooming into the
flowers that are showcased and
photographed because of their beauty
but inside we are picked and left
only to die a.small flower child.

I mourn the loss of you sometimes
and pray for peace within,
the word distraught can not describe how my heart has been.