Momma says to eat your greens
but that spinach looks like something that you could pull out of a shower drain
I never listen

Momma says not to talk to strangers
but I’m too friendly not to talk to the guy who said hi at the grocery store
I never listen

Momma says he’s seems indifferent
but that boy has the sunset trapped in his eyes, and causes my side to cramp with laughter
I never listen

Momma says I should’ve seen it coming
but I actually believed him when he kissed me and held my hand
I never listen

Momma says not to turn to drinking
but this alcohol is a life jacket, and holds me above the waves
I never listen

Momma says not to harm myself
but that blade helps me feel something other than empty
I never listen

Momma says she’s sorry this happened, and that she wished she could take the pain away
but no momma. you warned me

I’m sorry I never listened

you left
you left me open and all alone
broke me and made me pick up the pieces
now everyone looks at me like i’m fragile
and that they have to be careful with me

why?
why did you leave
right when I needed you most?

Like an abandoned dog
I sit here and wait for you to come back
but you never do
and now I don’t know where to turn to
or which way to go
so I wander aimlessly
helplessly lost

and I am not sure what I am more upset about
the fact that you never loved me
or the fact that I can’t seem to remember myself

before you

today in class, we had to fill out a new years resolution, and answer questions about 2017. one of the questions was “describe two happy or positive moments from 2017” and another was “describe two sad or negative moments from 2017”

i thought of you for both questions

and then i wrote about something else

this bottle keeps on emptying
as fast as it’s replace
so i go and grab another one
even though it leaves a horrible after taste

that’s okay, though
because the burning helps erase
the memory of your laugh and lips
so i drink it anyway,
although without very much grace

i still love you, ya know
although i wish i didn’t
because my mom says drinking is bad
but unfortunately, i never listen