These time capsules
Filled to the brim with colored memories
Each one addressed to a day
Taken at meals or in-between them
I am starting to dissolve
They are too
Seeping into my bloodstream
These little capsules of dreams
Break them open
Breath them in
Maybe I will see the ocean
when the bottle is empty

I thought,
Maybe I only wrote when I was in love.
But you see,
I still am.
It's just now he's gone,
And I can't seem to find those beautiful words anymore.

She is in love with the stars
All the unknowns, the expanse of the sky,
Tells me about the everything and nothingness,
Most times I don't really understand
Too infatuated with her eyes, wide and gleaming,
Twin Orions,

I try to explain to her my love affair with words
The everything and nothingness they hold
Recently her skies have been flooding my pages,
All the blacks and blues that hang high above
Staining my notebooks cover to cover

When it's all over,
As the faces fade,
When the hum of
fluorescents cease,
And the engines
sputter to a halt,
All that remains
are the oceans
Inside of us,
And the words
made in their wake

You are the ink in my pen,
The words of these pages,
All the rhyme to my reasons,
You with the smile full and wide
like the country, or the backwood,
The inspiration behind all this,

I’ve carved kingdoms out of my heart,
A fortress in my chest,
Raised my flag in surrender,
Gave way to your love,
Rule as you wish,
I do not want to defend myself anymore

Fifth and final, All written to you,
The keeper of these words,
Whatever this becomes,
Know that it is simple,
Understand that this is good,
One day I hope you’ll look back
on the memories and laugh

Were you silent the day he left?
He'll crush you, but at least you'll feel something...
                  at least you'll feel something...
I've come to the conclusion that nobody's actually in control anyway.
We all want to be, but none of us are.
And if you think about it,
The comparison of people to mirrors and windows,
Well...
We aren't either.
We are opaque and non-reflective,
And what you see from the outside
Rarely scratches the surface of what's inside.
And I saw the moon in shades of red tonight,
And stupidly mistook the color as blushing.
But then the realization struck that it was fury;
The moon was furious with the sun
For his constant indecision,
For his periodical love for her,
For the ease with which he would change his mind...
The thunderstorms are continual these days,
And I know it's cliché,
But it really does rain all the time.
The rolling sighs of the water against the windowpanes inside my mind
Have become a habitual dance
With footwork as intricate as any fire and ice rose,
Any tango or waltz,
And nothing has really felt like this before,
               but at least I feel something...
At least you'll feel something...
I just want to feel alive again.
Make me feel alive.
Can you even hear my screams?
I know six feet under is too deep to ask,
But could you try to listen?
Can you hear the divorce that didn't happen because of us kids?
Can you hear the bitter resentment in every exchange?
Can you hear your fingers combing through my hair in my dreams? Your lips on my forehead? Your heartbeat underneath my hand?
Can you hear the anger he spits at us everyday?
“I didn't want you two to grow up in a broken home.”
But we have. Just not in the traditional sense.
Can you hear the sound of ***** pouring over ice?
Can you hear the television so loud I have to close my door to think?
Can you hear the mascara stains on every pillow in the house?
Can you hear the distance between each member of this "happy family"?
Can you hear the regret?
Can you hear the bitterness?
Can you hear the frustration?
Can you hear the solitude?
Can you hear it?
Of course not.
I've learned by now that no one hears a silent goodbye.