~

Metamorphosis

Tracing footsteps in the overgrown field
where sunlight and rain drops date
Counting sticker burrs like lemon drops
in a candy counter display
Hitchhikers I remember them called,
lovers of socks and pant legs I think
Each with their own story to tell,
minute worries clinging to that last hope of life

The path, familiar but then again not,
it leads somewhere else now
Dragging shadows like kite strings,
knotted in the weave of its boundaries
Taking in my surroundings and releasing them  
for another may find them useful as well,
I find still no sign of that last phrase,
spoken softly but misunderstood…is my understanding

A collection of stone and gravel stew
finds my shoe souls imaging in the dry dusty paste
Outlines of thoughts, perhaps poetry in oblong shapes and
perfect tread patterns stamped and posted,
showing no indication of my ever being here
Staring now at a cocoon on a lone branch, I see
what my life had been, dark and lonely, dreaming of the colors,
feeling confined but grateful for the transformation

You smiled, I smiled, my wings appeared and I flew,
as might a rainbow on a balloon, soaring until the tiniest speck
in the sky could be me or just something on your glasses
Light headed in a good way, free at last to define love,
the metamorphosis of my heart,
the changing of a man into more than he could hope to be,
seeking and finding that blossom,
sweet nectar, a sugary substance, love deep in the petals of life

Though, no one told me of the life span before hand,
no calendar hanging on my wall with circled dates highlighted in red,
nor a stamp of expiration anywhere on my heart,
good if used by…used by, funny I should write that now
as my attention rests still on this cocoon,
wondering where I went wrong,
somewhere on this path lies the answer…
for I once was a butterfly, just as you will be small cocoon,

at which time you will learn…

it is easier to fly with a heart that is unbroken

I want to tell you not to make my mistake.
I want to tell you not to build walls. You pick up brick by brick, hiding yourself in the structure you've created. You feel safe until you realize you are left alone, trapped in the cage you built to be a home, standing in darkness and suffocating among walls that won't reach out to help you.
I want to tell you I understand.
I want to tell you that I often draw up blueprints for my home. When the world gets too close to me, I sketch tall ceilings above strong walls. I plan elaborate architecture. I sketch large windows that allow for sun-drenched rooms and put details on tall towers until I have a magnificent mansion, knowing all along that it's just a clever disguise for the cage I must never let myself enter. Once you go in, it's very hard to break down the walls.
I want to tell you to give up your bricks.
I want to tell you that you will feel better when you let them go. When things are hard, your hands will twitch until you grab your drafting pen, you'll still set out sheets of paper and start thinking about your walls, but you'll feel better knowing you're only making plans. I know the bricks are heavy, but you don't have to move them alone. I want to tell you to ask for help.
I want to tell you to let Him carry them away.
I want to tell you to let them go.
I want to tell you to stop pretending.
I want to tell you everything will be okay.
I hope you can hear me through your walls.
I don't think you can.

The worries that have troubled me
Are completely meaningless.
They are no comparison to the beauty that has been made all around me.
Forgive my doubt, may my transgressions be forgotten, my Lord.

I have forgotten how to look at the beautiful blue sky,
As my clouds filled of my misery has prevented my full sight.
I have forgotten how to count the daisies,
And focused on the weeds consuming them.
I have forgotten how to soar with the wings of eagles,
And spent my days believing my flight is incomparable to others.

Forgive me, my Lord, as I have forgotten your truth, your peaceful words that have brought me out of the dungeon I have placed myself in.
I have found myself caring about worthless things.

Unlock my chains, break and destroy the dungeon that has consumed me.
Destroy the evil and vile things in my heart.
Teach me how to walk in Your path.
Teach me how to love again.

Fix the clouds in my sight so that I may see the beautiful blue sky again that has entranced my eyes.
Fix my daisy garden and cast away all the weeds of destruction in my path.
Fix my wings; bond them to yours. Let me soar to the melodies of your love and grace.
Fix me, oh Lord, I am in need of fixing.
Your love is inimitable and endures through all ages.
Here is my surrender, fix me.

~

And no wind


Fierce the winds of reality on wings of painted feelings,
searching for that flower which holds the sweet nectar
Still fighting for that vision that brings hope
as dust and particles of sanity soar past at frightening speeds

Dark clouds seem to touch your frail body,
falling down from angered skies, constantly sustained
For this low pressure folds in the ingredients of sorrow,
while gardens dry into barren wastelands of locked gates

Fighting as you will, strength seems to sneak out the screened door
Weakness lands at your front step, ringing the bell
as the gusts beat you back even further than before
and rains have entered the picture on a calendar page

You, of yearning heart, are sadly a butterfly in a hurricane,
flapping your wings, forcing yourself against the gale
Trying desperately to reach the smiles which once found your face,
Ever tiring as moments from behind come into focus again

A rainbow of shimmering light appears, yet no sun has broken though
Magnificent auras on the walls of cherished dreams form
and the winds subside, at least in your path as  
one thousand butterflies appear to deflect the blustery winds

Loved ones from miles away have gathered, holding fast
of your desires, protecting you as you seek
answers and solutions of a brittle nature now strong,
as any garden wall may stand…they have found your smile    
  
Like a kaleidoscope born of a fearless shield,
friendships carve this path in a steadfast motion
For it is you sweet butterfly who are loved
and no wind shall deter you again

We try to live differently from everyone else,
Afraid we might be a copy of someone's original.
But oh how funny it is, that it is to the world's ways we have returned.

Our generation is completely made up of people
Who hide their beauty inside and admire someone else's.
Self worth is a merit no one believes in,
And confidence isn't a virtue any longer.

We have found the flaws in our sins and turned it into who we are.
Our identity is no longer founded by truth,
But scripted from lies.

We have gotten use to the word depression and misery,
Yet we are surprised when a joyful being comes along our way.
It seems as if our self destruction is not worth mourning for,
We have gotten use to a catastrophic world.
The emptiness we have seen in others,
Is now our own.
The beauty we once had,
Has been buried deep in a heart that use to be pure,
But is now vile.

Where, oh brave souls, are you?
Where is the courage we use to have?

Dear heart, it is time to take a stand.