The blood is humming through my body, those irritating vibrations.
I want it to stop completely, the flow and everything that is breaking underneath.
I’m surrounded by heartbeats, the beautiful beating of hearts roaming and crying.
When the specific heartbeat I am searching for is far away from mine. Sometimes I moan sad and unthinkable thoughts like wanting to stop my heartbeat just to stop abruptly with no regrets afterward.
Having faith in the indifference that I have towards others and myself helps nothing and no one.
Everything ends in tears because people do not know how to control their **** emotions.
I’m completely scared and enticing for the bullet they will put in my head.
Sometimes I’m only concerned about the fact that they only want to look pretty and feel my heartbeat because everything else does not make sense to them.
Being reckless helps me in not wanting them to want me.

Shamelessly coveting someone that he did not need.
She was incredibly scary for driving on the wrong roads.
He became breathless whenever she drove past him.
The way she swerved around some obstacles and hit others.
Everything was going to change for him as soon as he got with her.
Whenever she thought he was going to kiss her and ride … he did not.
Her whistles of *** and drugs and sadness did not let him come closer.
Breaking most of the rules was her way of trying to kiss him.
But he did not want to take everything out on her.
She was screaming at him, “Come closer and I promise I’ll bite a little less!”
Their hands touched and she did not let go as the love of her life was moving her.
He rides with her into space she always stares in while slowly regretting it.
The wind from their tantrums was blowing through their hair.
He did not want to love her so he made himself not to.
Strong attraction between them and he still did not want to.
This ride would be their love song even if they killed each other in the end.

The simple yet complicatedly beautiful touch of hers made him feel as delicate as a feather.
Her fingertips would lightly graze against the curves in his arm, it was as if she could see edges in his muscles that he could not.
The movements were not sensual but more endearing and sad.
Her eyes sang songs and moaned melodies from enduring the pain she felt when being able to touch him for these moments knowing it would end.
Darling, my heart is drunk. Drunk off of you and she’s afraid of the hangover that intrigued as well.
The game of hers did not help with the way she wanted to sleep.
Being dangerous with her helped him figure out how he wanted to die.
He wanted everything and she did not want anything.
While she was going under he was pulling at her strings trying to get her to rise as high as he was.
They were birds floating across clouds and riding on their small gusts of air, but one of them was crying while the other one laughed.
His wings would slap her while he was trying to help her fly with him.
And he had no idea.
She enjoyed it either way.

She is a little bit broken, just like me.
This is what makes her so captivating.
She pulls me in with those brown eyes of hers that reflected deep melancholy.
She is definitely quite similar to my melancholies.
The pain in her eyes drew me in because she made being broken seem as though it is grand and exquisite.
Her pain was so beautiful and dark in the way that she still wanted something out there to take it out of her.
You could tell she was somewhat of a hopeless yet sweet creature.
Crawling around aimlessly as though she were on delicate glass, afraid to cut herself and others. She believed in many ideas and people, practically everything, except herself.
People around her envied her but she had no idea.
Her life was as chaotic as the ocean filled with lovely little beasts.
There was fearfulness flowing around her, but none of that mattered to her, because she still believed, naively, even so she believed.
Feeling anything with her was unlike anything you could ever imagine.
Most people were phenomenal at making broken look unattractive. It was easy.
Her darkness was worth drowning in and everyone wanted to have the last breath in her miserableness.
When I met her I could tell that her feelings toward me were a mix of hatred and love.
Because she wanted to feel an emptiness like mine. It was a hunt a consensually sad hunt.
And I wanted to feel all her emotions at once.

I was in the twilight of my life, and the charming person I met along the road was my only dawn.
At night, I fall asleep with images of myself, swaying and smiling with them... you
I wished over and over and over again, that smashed yet sparkling me could stop loving you, darling.
I want nothing and everything with you. It completely scares me.
I had nightmares of becoming a beautiful yet tragic poet, but upon meeting you I saw those dreams spread like the billion stars in the night sky.
Honestly, I didn't mind because I know that all it takes is getting all you ever wanted, and then completely losing it to know what you can be.
Years of being on a never-ending world journey and my memories of you were the only things that persisted me, and my only blissful moments.
When the people I used to live around discovered what I have been doing, and whom I have been kissing, what I’ve been drinking, and how I'd been living, they asked me, “What the hell are you thinking?
However, there's no use to talking with people who have a home.
Every experience was fire itself and that terrified me yet helped me obsess for freedom, dear.
These faint-hearted mice do not know what it's like to find safety in other people - for ‘home’ to be wherever or whomever you want.
I want an honest compass pointing me anywhere but I have an indecisiveness inside me that is as wild and wavering as the sea.
I always had this fiery madness intimately inside me it dizzied me and then you tossed gasoline on it and it dazed me.
I think I was born to be the other woman.
The woman that belongs to everyone and no one at the same time, merely emptying herself to please others.
But then I start to believe that I am my own woman. And that wonderful tease in control and loving the war I created with myself.
I adore being the unrequited one in particular. You are my coffee but I feel like the mistreated coffee machine.
Thank you for my dreamy blues.

When you love someone, you love her in every way. 
You love their curious insecurities. You love their faults whether they’re like yours or not… even if she feels like a silhouette.
You love the way they walk, whether it’s toward you or not
When they laugh then you laugh because you want share them, and when they stare at you then you stare back because you want to take every detail in.
When you love someone, you get mad at her. You get hurt. You hurt them as well and if you love them so much you try to heal those senseless scars. You try to make them feel better about everything and anything. You make them feel more precious.
When you love someone, you don’t just give up on her. It gets harder each day because then you love them and no matter how awkward it is, you stay loving them because it is still harder without them.
When you love someone, you wonder whether they have eaten, they went home safely, whether they are feeling good about themselves.
When you love someone, you want them to be happy, grateful that one of you has their claws on right.
When you love someone, you hold them as long as they want to be held.
When you love someone, you know it is frightening and exciting.

In my dreams, we’re walking along the edge of the universe. My love for you is like the **** sun, burning miles away and lighting up brightly than any other star. Time isn’t real here; there’s only us and couple million flowers. Forever. But then again, my dreams aren’t real either. And forever doesn’t exist for anyone.
We are together in each universe. We are calm in every reality. I’m tired of all these parallel universes teasing my head where we’re together.
I wanted to love you significantly; leaving small kisses on your heart.
Then teach me to have the same wounds so we could match.  
Today my best friend asked me, “Baby, how many ******* times do you think of this darling devil of yours a day!?” and I said, “Well, I guess just once because ever since I  met him, he hasn’t left my  ******* mind...”
I dance with you on our string of stars. And when I laugh with my preschoolers I wish you could see these young pieces of love just so they could make you laugh too.
Sunsets still remind me of you because they make me miserable and blissful simultaneously. Being able to watch something leave, like the sun, excited for him to bring light to someone else while leaving me.  
I’m still convinced you’re the only one who makes the sky blush and flush like I did when I was with you. But it’s been raining and snowing ever since you left. All I think I ever wanted was to watch the sun rise and set with you.
When it rains the raindrops and thunder tell me; “you’re lucky that he’s caused tears to fall from your eyes. Doesn’t it make you feel alive?”
“Yes, it does. Less cynical too. Recklessly so.” I cry back.