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  Jun 5 star
Lyle
no matter how many times we say it
or how much we mean it
those people will never understand
that being a sad person
doesn't make you a bad person
that there doesn't need to be
trauma
there doesn't need to be
a reason
sadness is a feeling
it's not just a reaction
can't they see?
can't they see that only a person with so much hurt
and so much pain
can drag scissors across their arm?
can press that
blade
down on their SKIN
until it rips and blood beads
and mingles with tears of desperation
how can they not see that
there doesn't need to be a cause for the crippling
depression?
I can
because I feel it too.
sometimes you just need to be sad
so the happy days feel all the more brighter
everybody feels different
what might be a small ordeal to someone
might be the world ending to another
you
aren't
a
bad
person.
you
are
just
a
sad
person.
so please please please
throw away those awful blue things
you know what I mean
you don't need that reminder
please please please
put the sharp things away
not for me, for you
wear your scars
they are
tally
marks
of
the days you have overcome
you don't have to be ashamed
if people want to be ashamed for you
that's
their
problem
they are yours
they are all the reminders you need
of how
beautiful
and strong
and resilient
you are
because you keep fighting every
single
day
and that's more than I can say for most.
I will never stop caring.
I will never stop being here.
so please
let
your
world
BEGIN
everyday.
The days will hurt
Nights will sting
but you must never forget
how happiness sings.
Please.

I hope you know this is for you. Stay strong. You've got this. I'm always here for you.
star Jun 5
worth it 6.4.25 (7:22 pm / 19:22)
you’re a little hard to love often enough
you’re a little difficult to tell what’s up
but you’re completely worth it

you are worth every single tear shed
you are worth every angry text sent
you are worth every moment of silence
you are worth every second you breathe
and breathe and live

you’re a little strange sometimes
you’re a little embarassing, i’ll admit
but you’re forever worth it
star Jun 5
only once 6.4.25 (7:15 pm / 19:15)
you know, i know
that only once the world has ended
that only once the rain drowns us all
that only once the seas have risen too far
that only once our graves are dug and
we are buried
that only once we have been dead for a million years

that’s when i’ll stop loving you

[playing: supernatural by ariana grande]
only once the world has ended a thousand thousand times will i stop loving you
star Jun 5
one thing and then the other 6.4.25 (8:00 pm) / 20:00)
sometimes i wonder-
well
so many things
a lot really

is betrayal just a metaphor?
for what, honestly, i’m falling apart
i can barely tell what i feel like anymore
sad? happy? one thing and then the other

i’m not in control anymore
i’m a control freak, yes
i can’t stand not knowing what happens next
i’m afraid

maybe i’m spiraling down
or maybe i’m standing on regular ground?
maybe i’m falling falling falling
or maybe you’re holding me up?

maybe everything is breaking shattering broken
or it could be all fine?

maybe i’m laughing maybe i’m smiling
maybe i’m crying maybe my tears are flooding
the floor and drowning me
maybe i’m happy.

i really don’t know
  Jun 5 star
Lyle
I don't burst into tears
I fall into tears
silently
gracefully
like a practiced maneuver
like a missing piece falling back into place
I fall into tears
like they can somehow protect me
star Jun 2
it is true 5.31.25 (10:03 pm / 22:03)
it is true i wished to die,
and perhaps so i wish still,
is this not lawful for all
prisoners?

it is true that my first thought
on a balcony was how far the fall
and not how beautiful the view
is this not lawful for all those trapped?

i am a bird in a cage
the key is sitting just outside

i am the swan with clipped wings
leda of sparta
no longer a girl
but still unable to fly away and escape

it is true,
it is true,
it is true

it is true i wished to fly,
and so i wish still,
is this not lawful for all birds?

[playing: softly by clairo]
inspired by the joan of arc quote "it is true i wished to escape, and so i wish still; is this not lawful for all prisoners?"
star Jun 2
pride month 6.1.25 (5:10 pm / 17:10)
you were right, i guess
even though you don’t know yet

you have always been right about me
you have always known me better than myself
i have always been better in your eyes

i know i should be prouder
i know i should know better

[playing: till forever falls apart by ashe and finneas]
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