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Aug 2018 · 445
In the End
Andyroosky Aug 2018
And in the end sometimes
We do not forget
The bridges that we never crossed
To the homes, we never lived

You do not always lose that which you hold
At times you never held it yet there it goes
In our memory, it stays
Though only as a dream
And in the end sometimes
Life is just as hard as it seems
Apr 2018 · 527
Learning to be a Cactus
Andyroosky Apr 2018
As early as you can
Change your leaves to spines

Sink your roots deep

Bloom in Spring
Ripen in late Summer

Do not trust the coyote, who only wants your fruit.
Feb 2018 · 562
Sweet Tea
Andyroosky Feb 2018
I am becoming so tired of my glass being emptied by you.
Every time you fill me, bitterness takes up more space

My head is a lemon.
My heart is running out of sugar to sweeten this drink we call love.

I don't want to make lemonade,
I want sweet tea
Mar 2017 · 465
Enigma
Andyroosky Mar 2017
She is an enigma
A heartbreak
The unmovable past
A sea of tears
The breeze on a September day
The bitter taste of beer
She is a girl, without a thought or care
Who killed me through you
Sep 2016 · 668
Sea Monsters.
Andyroosky Sep 2016
What does it mean to be engulfed.
To feel and hear the swelling of the ocean around you.
A deep blue abyss filling your lungs.
The waves are crashing into me.
Constantly finding the waters surface
only to be pulled back under.
Exhausted from drowning and finding no relief.
The thought of letting go encroaches.
Letting the monsters in the sea pull me down.
The tranquil stillness of the black ocean depths.
Allowing myself to drift away and dissipate
To be free from this it seems that all I can do is let myself drown.
Aug 2016 · 1.1k
Uncertainty
Andyroosky Aug 2016
I do not dream of being your uncertainty.
Fragile skin does not last without cover
And
Uncertainty does not set out to protect against the rain.
Uncertainty embraces entropy.
Uncertainty embraces hips and strands of hair.
Uncertainty sees the future as fate.
I will not be your uncertainty.
And in my lowest depths I vow to you that I will go on without you.
If you cannot see me as rock, concrete, unmovable.
You see, you were my only certainty
But it seems that certainly will change.
Mar 2016 · 652
Fear of Our Unknown
Andyroosky Mar 2016
I fear that one day you'll lock eyes with someone else
That you'll  take away my daydreams without a thought or care
That you'll leave me in loneliness, and bits of despair
That any beauty I thought I had will go missing to you
I fear you'll leave me broken just because it's something you can do
I want to be the most for you that anyone could be.
Your friend
Your family
And your one and only
I hope you can forgive me for how scared I am at times
That I can't make your world stop  
Or have you to restart mine.
Jul 2015 · 676
arid.
Andyroosky Jul 2015
I use to think of you in fast increments
Now there are pauses
Vast deserts
We are arid
Parched
Drying out with no water to support us
And I am not dancing for the rain.
Nov 2013 · 705
Time Bomb
Andyroosky Nov 2013
Is it always a time bomb?
A constant countdown
To the inevitable
A losing battle
Before the first bell rang
The problem,
Not knowing who set the cables
Was it myself
Or you
Him
Or
Her
It feels like nothing can beat the past
The time bomb ticks
Our answer waiting
Behind a cloud of smoke
So
Do we move forward
Or do we choke
Feb 2012 · 883
Catch My Dream
Andyroosky Feb 2012
I want you to catch my dream
I want your web to consume my mind
and you breath through me
As i breath through you
I want your feathers to sweep my speech
to take every word i purge
and turn them into wonders
I hope your spirit finds my thoughts
and has them dance across the fire sky
I
want
you
to catch my dream
Dec 2011 · 734
I Saw Yours
Andyroosky Dec 2011
I saw your face in everyone
Every man that walked in was my number one
Couldnt convince myself that i was wrong
We had our shot and you let it run

Do you remember when we were young?
Baseball parks and home runs
We just wanted to have fun
City streets and too many long shortcuts

Looking from across the bar
Captured by every curve, every new scar
So much has changed but it is all still the same
Can't stand to hear you say my name

Showing up to sweep me away
Doesnt quite work that way
And as much as i wanted to touch your face
Is as much as i wanted to look away
Sep 2011 · 1.7k
The Morgue: A Short Story
Andyroosky Sep 2011
"She's my girlfriend!"
he shouted as a boy placed his hands over her mouth and planted a fake kiss on her. His lack of sobriety allowed real rage to fill his eyes and he tackled the kissing boy. As they began to struggle against each other on the sticky hard wood floor that was probably covered by layers of party fouls, she thought, ' he called me his girlfriend. Why would he say that?' Her best friend sitting close by said it out loud
" Oh my gosh dude, he just called you his girlfriend!"
Through this short span the boys were finishing up there tuff and he began to find his seat next to her again. Placing his arms over her shoulder she didn't mind the sweat, or the alcohol. It actually reminded her of most of their nights together. She wanted to kiss him. He was busy talking across the room to an equally as drunk buddy about who the bigger beauty was. She didn't drink. But she didn't mind it. Taking people home was pleasing, plus there was a greater chance of getting him home, with her. The party was picking up. The boys with the I-pod were getting drunk enough to start up their typical loop of songs. Being from Texas she knew that she would be dancing. She loved dancing. Even when the boys she was dancing with were drunk it was fun. Plus, he couldn’t country-dance so she got to dance with others and he was forced to watch. Dancing always reminded her of home, a small rural town in Texas where you could be a outcast and popular all at the same time. She did it all in high school. Cheerleading, sports, theater, you name it she was most likely involved. However, she felt like everyone in town, or majority disliked her. She constantly felt eyes burning on her too white to be here skin. So she left for school out of state, planning on never looking back. She did miss the dancing though. Every prom she made it a point to dance with her father, and to not sleep with her boyfriend.

Having *** on prom night was too cliché.

A boy grabbed her hand. My Maria was blaring through the speakers and it was about time she stood up anyway, the mindless getting nowhere conversation she was having with her friend was only justifying how ****** up her situation was. One of her biggest surprises in moving was that Canadian boys liked country and could dance to it. She never thought a taste of home would come from a drunken kid from Vancouver.  He was a best friend with her interest but that didn’t keep him from pulling her close, so close she could tell that his last drink had just enough whiskey to float the ice cubes.

The party had reached the relaxed stage. Cute petty arguments were filling the air. He stood behind her and grabbed her hand. Surprise ran through her but she couldn’t show it. It’s suppose to happen, maybe he does like you? That was one of her favorite feelings. Brushing hands with someone, or having them grabs yours. The shock, the spark that runs from your finger tips through your stomach and out the top of your head.

Once, when she was young a boy held her hand in the movie theater, cupped, a true moment of tragedy.

Her friend saw what the drunken boy had done and began raving to her about how perfect they looked and how you can’t deny that something was there between them. She had two close friends. One who was somewhat a romantic until she got drunk and proceeded to call every guy within a ten-foot radius an *******. She came to college somewhat naive and with her heart still in a different state. A boy she had liked since high school kept here grounded. She needed to move on but she didn’t see it that way. Her story lead to a car stopping in the middle of the road letting her out to her eventually de-virgining by a, to say the least, experienced Canadian boy who wanted everything but also decided that nothing was good enough.  The other friend, who was more of a realist but still wanted things to turnout a certain way was also there. She haled from California, a sunshine girl who was unbelievably ditzy but unbelievably smart. Speaking her mind was never hard for her. She did make one vital mistake. Believing a European boy when said he was different. The only thing different about him was that he spoke broken English and wore tighter pants than American boys.

She had always been in a group of three, from school to school. There is a comfort in three, even more so for them, not only because they were all above 5' 9" but also because they all wanted the same unattainable thing.

He went home.
He went home with her.

A whirlwind of emotions began to ride up in her. How could you of been so dumb to think that it would work. At least the commotion of getting everyone down the stairs safely took her mind off of the fact that no matter what, he wasn’t going to love her. In the drivers seat she could hear the name-calling and the I can’t believe its being said by everyone. But the three of them knew it didn’t matter. Her willingness to let him come running back was always going to be there.

The next day lead to greasy food and stories of the night before. The futon mattress in the living room sprawled out on the floor laid out the venue for the party talk.

She played on a futon when she was a baby. Her parents have countless pictures of it. Innocent and fragile, not much had changed other than the addition of bitterness.

Why would he say that? She thought again and parked the car in the garage and helped carry the taco bell bags upstairs. She hated taco bell, being from an area around the Mexico border spoiled her pallet. Her friends crunched down talking about how guys are all *****. By now the night before had only faded somewhat in her mind.

He woke up that morning to a girl next to him. She had been awake since eight but let him sleep because it gave her more time with him.  They had a past and that made for great *** but also a girl burned in his eye that wasn’t her.

For him the night never happened.

If she could reverse her thoughts she would. She hated wondering why. She understood him being a 21 year old that wanted to get laid. But why grab her hand? Why act as if you cared for  her. Oh god she thought. It’s so simple.

Its because he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care.
Feb 2011 · 664
April 19th 2
Andyroosky Feb 2011
Breathing nothing but ice
gasping for air but surrounded by cold
you take it with you everywhere
in hidden words and rhymes shared
other freezer boys laughing
as they understand what a hypocrite is
all the same
nothing more typical
take a step back
I crave warmth
which your frozen hands cannot provide
Feb 2011 · 716
Stand Behind
Andyroosky Feb 2011
Everybody's looking for the next in line to love
pass through the arms of the one before
not even a glance back at what was
just a forward stare
a thirst for the unknown
I stand behind
with the same thirst
a hunger that cannot be satisfied
a devotion to rejection
a lust for hurt
it cannot be quit
an addictive sedative
put me on pause
as you continue forward
consuming anything within reach
in a stand still i cannot reach you
my thin fingers curl inward
scared to give something away
don't want to purge every feeling
so
I stand behind
forgotten
but still craving
a need
that will never be satisfied.
Feb 2011 · 623
April 19th
Andyroosky Feb 2011
How is it that this thing consumes my life?
this ghost
you are not here
nothing but an empty shell
pressing your hollow image into mine
i dream of your ghost
not capable of seeing a clear face
blurs of sleepless nights and tangled hair
drips of sweat and water
undeniably detached
a tongue out expression
the only indication of yourself
what does your ghost want
nothing but to touch skin after skin after skin
does my beige shade not meet your standards
what standards could a hollow man have
a ghost only wants to remain a ghost
sheltered from any type of feeling
always looking for new bodies to haunt
and i wonder what it is you're after.

— The End —