we never change
we just get better at hiding our ways.

I want to carry you,
Pick you up when you are down, beaten to the ground
With nothing left in you but rage, sorrow, and pain.
I want to wrap you in my arms,
Wrap you so tight,
Squeeze this melancholy out of our lives.
I want to tell you, “It’s okay”
Even though I know it’s not.

But I can’t utter these words,
They will not roll off my tongue and through my dry, cracked lips.
They are stuck, lodged, deep in my throat.
Choking me.
Failing me.
And even worse--failing you.

The flower
Growing in front of my eyes
Astounds me
With its beauty
The petals
White as the moon
On a starless night
With the edges
Stained with a red
As dark and rich as wine
The center
A yellow
Like the sun
Hanging over a warm summer day

The flower
Stands on my lawn
As the only thing
That’s living
Its exuberant color
Bursting forth
Through the dried grass
And the graying soil
I have no idea
Where this flower came from
The fact that
The ground around it
Is caked in as normal
And seems as though
It hasn’t been overturned
In days

I think this flower
Has just appeared
Or really has always been there
Just now that I recognize
Its beauty
I feel the petals
Through my finger tips
And slowly moving
My palm onto
The main part of it
The petals
Feel like satin
Mixed with the soft skin
Of a baby
I let go of the petal
And walk into my house

From my window
As I awake
I noticed that it had snowed
And at first I am happy
But then I remember
My flower
And I arise from my bed
And run outside
The flower
Has disappeared under the cover
Of the snow
I go to where
My mighty flower
Once stood and I start to dig
To get the flower out
Hoping that no harm
Has befallen
My botanical beauty

I reach the flower
And see that it has
Wilted under
The weight of the snow
My flower
The one that
I had found
Breaking through the dullness
Has gone away
Because of the weight
Of a natural occurrence
And so I sit here
Where it once stood
And I wonder if I will ever see it again

But then I put the snow back
Into place
And I think
That the flower will return
Only this time
More beautiful than ever
Having conquered the snow
And the weight of the world
So I walk into my house
And lay back down
Thinking of the beautiful flower
That would come back to me
Sooner or later