Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
L Seagull Jul 2019
Those lovely ladies
Who lie and sweat
Like little chickens
Hungry for some
Dough
*******
Hate
I do sometimes
I am vulnerable and there is a way to make me quit my profession. Send more fakes please - they make me want to die. Oh, wait - thanks for your care!
L Seagull Jan 2018
I lost interest in words
I lost it suddenly when
A thousand syllables
You accidentally spilled
Felt like a midnight forest
Loud and confusing
A little dangerous
And much unintended
Yet the intension spoke
Loud and clear
When the words
Selected to be spoken
Bid a bitter farewell
L Seagull Jun 2016
You do not do, you do not do  
Any more, black shoe
In which I have lived like a foot  
For thirty years, poor and white,  
Barely daring to breathe or Achoo.

Daddy, I have had to **** you.  
You died before I had time——
Marble-heavy, a bag full of God,  
Ghastly statue with one gray toe  
Big as a Frisco seal

And a head in the freakish Atlantic  
Where it pours bean green over blue  
In the waters off beautiful Nauset.  
I used to pray to recover you.
Ach, du.

In the German tongue, in the Polish town  
Scraped flat by the roller
Of wars, wars, wars.
But the name of the town is common.  
My ****** friend

Says there are a dozen or two.  
So I never could tell where you  
Put your foot, your root,
I never could talk to you.
The tongue stuck in my jaw.

It stuck in a barb wire snare.  
Ich, ich, ich, ich,
I could hardly speak.
I thought every German was you.  
And the language obscene

An engine, an engine
Chuffing me off like a Jew.
A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.  
I began to talk like a Jew.
I think I may well be a Jew.

The snows of the Tyrol, the clear beer of Vienna  
Are not very pure or true.
With my gipsy ancestress and my weird luck  
And my Taroc pack and my Taroc pack
I may be a bit of a Jew.

I have always been scared of you,
With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo.  
And your neat mustache
And your Aryan eye, bright blue.
Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You——

Not God but a *******
So black no sky could squeak through.  
Every woman adores a Fascist,  
The boot in the face, the brute  
Brute heart of a brute like you.

You stand at the blackboard, daddy,  
In the picture I have of you,
A cleft in your chin instead of your foot  
But no less a devil for that, no not  
Any less the black man who

Bit my pretty red heart in two.
I was ten when they buried you.  
At twenty I tried to die
And get back, back, back to you.
I thought even the bones would do.

But they pulled me out of the sack,  
And they stuck me together with glue.  
And then I knew what to do.
I made a model of you,
A man in black with a Meinkampf look

And a love of the rack and the *****.  
And I said I do, I do.
So daddy, I’m finally through.
The black telephone’s off at the root,  
The voices just can’t worm through.

If I’ve killed one man, I’ve killed two——
The vampire who said he was you  
And drank my blood for a year,
Seven years, if you want to know.
Daddy, you can lie back now.

There’s a stake in your fat black heart  
And the villagers never liked you.
They are dancing and stamping on you.  
They always knew it was you.
Daddy, daddy, you *******, I’m through.

Sylvia Plath, “Daddy” from Collected Poems. Copyright © 1960, 1965, 1971, 1981 by the Estate of Sylvia Plath. Editorial matter copyright © 1981 by Ted Hughes. Used by permission of HarperCollins Publishers.
Source: Collected Poems (HarperCollins Publishers Inc, 1992)
#sylviaplath
L Seagull Oct 2016
New day
I go with the flow
Of what feels Right
I cling to that truth
Which is bigger than my
Self
Closed doors are asking you to be open and loving. Dark drapes hide the intention, so why don't you give them some love?
L Seagull Oct 2017
Step out of the car and enter a blacked out state of mind
My face is ****** and there are tears in my eyes
And all i can think of is whats buried underneath
surely life grows under this concrete

My hands are sweaty as i pick myself up alone
And i gather whats left of my pride and float towards my home
Two days later im still asleep
Then life wakes me up with a badge on my sleeve

When will the be over?
And who is really to blame?
And when can i start dreaming?
Make my dreams become wings and fly away

And i have covered every range of my emotions
But i got more anger in me than all the waves of the ocean
And i am trying to say the things to make you stay
But i cant take back what he has taken from me

And healing has come so **** painfully
And now i refuse to let anyone get close to me
Each flashback chills me to my every bone
im damaged you see in case you want to go

when will this be over?
And who is really to blame?
And when can i start dreaming?
Make my dreams become wings and fly away
Fly away
Fly away
whooooooooooo
L Seagull Nov 2016
Quiet whispering of anticipation
Like sweat covering the anxious thought
Tomorrow taking over present
What if the balance will never be found?
That other universe of mind
Unattainable vulnerability asking
For a slow dance on tip toes
Around and around and around once more
Averting the eyes not to step
On the soft spot void of essence
It is a chess game and at fault will be
The one who chose no role
Can't pave your way with honesty and kindness
Lost track of thought behind all the
Butterflies and bonfires in my stomach
The sudden heat of anger escaping
My face yet almost always unnoticed
The invisible rascal that tricks my thoughts
And escapes riding the words
Spilling off my tongue and then
Swallowed back like a cup of poison
Meant to be shared
The protector of the world from myself
Is always me in the afterthought
Erasing adequacy for the benefit of
Insecure spectator
Into forgotten chapter
Of samsara
The soothing forever
Of insight
At the end of repetition
L Seagull Mar 2018
Simple errand of the day
To keep the yesterday away
From feeding on tomorrow’s hope
Yet right along the old survival trail
We walk picking up pebbles
Of everything that could have been
Throwing them in the air
Kicking them up with the dust of regrets
Breathing in the particles of potential
Proclaiming myself incapable
Of life for nothing else could overpower death
Only the fear of living
L Seagull Apr 2017
'All they who thoughtless are, nor heed,
What timeDeath's messengers appear,
Must long the pangs of suffering feel
In some base body habiting.
But all those good and holy men,
What time they see Death's messengers,
Behave not thoughtless, but give heed
To what the Noble Doctrine says;
And in attachment frighted see
Of birth and death the fertile source,
And from attachment free themselves,
Thus birth and death extinguishing.
Secure and happy ones are they,
Released from all this fleeting show;
Exempted from all sin and fear,
All misery have they overcome.'
Anguttara-Nkaya, iii.35
From the Tibetan Book of The Dead
L Seagull Jan 2017
If unknown is felt more
Than what is known
If recognizing our past lives
In a momentary smile
Leads to discovering the worlds
You know you knew
Without a reason
Shall we really be so fearful
Of the dark abyss that will
Swallow our temporary shell
Only to place us back in the game
Yet again
Not to be reckless of cause with the life you're in
L Seagull Aug 2016
I'm not sure
What I'm looking for anymore
I just know
That I'm harder to console
I don't see who I'm trying to be
Instead of me
But the key
Is a question of control

Can you say
What you're trying to play anyway
I just pay
While you're breaking all the rules
All the signs that I find
Have been underlined
Devils thrive on the drive
That is fuelled

All this running around
Well it's getting me down
Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I don't need to believe
All the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve
Something that rings true

There's a hole in your soul
Like an animal
With no conscience
Repentance unknown
Close your eyes
Pay the price for your paradise
Devils feed on the seeds
That are sown

Can't conceal what I feel
What I know is real
No mistaking the faking
I care
With a prayer in the air
I will leave it there
On a note full of hope
Not despair

All this running around
Well it's getting me down
Just give me a pain that I'm used to
I don't need to believe
All the dreams you conceive
You just need to achieve
Something that rings true
L Seagull Jun 2016
Intention underneath the did
Can you feel it's pattern?
It's push reminding of betrayal
It's pull begging for existence
It's yearning to trust and begging for
Solitude - quiet, unperturbed
Maddening
With bravery to fall into abyss of the unknown
To find a piece of you in hands
Whose next move will always be a question
Connection calling faith
To dance the tango
The passionate move of dangerous feeling
Trust is dangerous
Feeling is dangerous
Life is dangerous
Death is safe
It is permanent and predictable
Joylessly
Like its little sister routine
Yet we can find snapshots of joy
In the most predictable of our days
While sharing it embrace another soul
L Seagull May 2016
The devil sneezed
Achoo such a lonely cold
Better safe than sorry
Stay away from
Those ****** possessors
Keep my blessed bacteria
All to myself
He thought then looked
Outside the window
Rainy day so harmonious
With his love for tragic endings
Like tears of generations
All the souls devil ever took
Feeling them close and cozy
Achoo ****** they're all gone
Too sick to get myself
Some meds to soothe the
Void some **** to break the
Repetition, amphetamines
To finish the business
Day and night never ending
Chain of over and over and over
Bored through and through
Down to his creativity
Down to all the drowned passions
And old memories jumping over the fire
With a yawn
Hot and cold and ever lasting
Dissatisfaction
ACHOO this might just be the end of it
Wouldn't change much
But don't mind the change of scenery
Too tired to flip the switch
Already happened a while ago
Achoooo-ally
Smell of hesitation in the air. So silly, in the general scheme of things
L Seagull Aug 2016
There is love the basis of all
That is alive and joyful
There is passion, an unexpected
Combustion of magnetic fields
Deceivingly undeniable
Or the pure one
On the hammock last starry night
That started with a wholehearted hug
No diamond ring necessary
To prove that this one was
Meant to be

And then there is responsibility
When knowing makes lack of action
Impossible
Sometimes comes dressed as
A concerning and urgent
Question mark
The feeling comes and goes
There are plans and rules
That only an idiot
Writes in ink
But responsibility
Stays constant
It simply stays
Whether hope
Plays her part
Or chooses to depart
L Seagull May 2017
...I sat on wet wipes
And now I look
Like I peed myself
L Seagull Nov 2016
Something inexplicable swirling behind shatters
Of my mind thoughts mingling yet speechless
Confusing world of non existence in the midst of
Swirling universe that feels like living only because
It feels so deeply all else is complete confusion
As if covered by a blanket of non-reality as if the dream continued
Into a morning light dark and transparent
And dawning light brings no certainty
Tomorrow is up to fate and I will take it boldly as it comes
Let it run its course through the
Ever so spontaneous and tragically exposed myself
All I can know is what I sense
All else is shattered bits of meaning
Utterly intermixed everything
They call reality
Confusion, anxiety... I'd take it all over peering at the world through a hole in a small box of what other wish me to be to fit their neatly arranged mind shelves
L Seagull Jun 2016
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
L Seagull May 2016
When breathing feels like finite striving
Dead end, a waste of effort
It wasn't you breathing all along

Walking the streets it isn't my body
Breathing the air it isn't my soul
Nourished by the livelihood of all
The rhyme won't flow, image is static
Almost absurdly predictable
Spontaneity covered in layers of soil
Creativity choked to submission

This isn't the WAY, not myself not my life
Still watching it by the side of the bed
That stayed long in the past
Distorted image of unity

Predict your death or start this trip anew
Let in the thrill of truths so eager to erupt
To land on soil that awaits the honest
Shed image blank as page where nothing
Was ever written, nothing but the sound
Not suited for this mediocre guessing game
Your talent chokes without a helping hand
You have the power to transcend
Pain, hope,despair, evil - all arose to greet you
Give them your voice
Experiment with flow
And dream yourself anew
Truthfully
Not the best one, but wanted to share it nevertheless. Going to sleep now... Or at least count the sheep as I breathe P.S. Scientists proved that sleep is good for your creativity, and ... Well, pretty much anything
L Seagull Sep 2016
Question
Shame eyes overted sudden noise
Buzzing in the back of the brain
The hook is left hanging submerged in the water
Fogging the thoughts until they disappear
Words ran away at a thought of being spoken
Thoughts those complex layers of
Experience feelings impulses values
So much insight and potential
Running out the door
Atom by atom splitting hanging in the air above
Spoken sounds are escaping the tongue
Oh what a torture to be at a mercy of
Limitations
Unknowing and lost in the bubble with only self
And the gaping hole of loneliness
And everything unsaid

Through acceptance i find my way
To only that within the grasp
The truth begging to be said
When in no doubt
Or finding dignified peace in silence
Sometimes thoughts refuse to turn into phrases. Misterious limitations... Or perhaps some deeper intellect hidden beneath this lifetime knows better to remain quiet. And really, silence is something one should date to afford
L Seagull Jun 2016
Forgiveness unfelt
Like a snake stuck in your throat
Forever to squirm where you feel it
Looking into the eyes of an iceberg
Desperate to humanize her but
Deep down I find no faith
I cannot feel that golden grain
In the pit of her stomach
I do not sense the gentle pull of
Fragile humanity solty sweat
Too cold
To get naked soled in front of this
Shell limited by self-protection
Yet I feel her deeply so I can't even hate
Had to reconcile today with someone deeply hurtful and desperate for a victim role.  Only to make everyone else feel more comfortable. This might be the first time I am so willing to scratch someone out of my life.  Yet there is more even to her than a one sided disdain I feel. Raised in neglect and abuse, a verty busy lady lawyer now, very proper, yet so joyless and blind
L Seagull Aug 2017
Through stiffness of confusion
That followed me through
These unenhabited terrains
Where human voice or touch
Are but a shadow of a long
Forgotten dream to be despised
Through search for the glimpse
Of that which is alive in this
Pit of self destruction and hateread
For all hope that unavoidably faltered
Each time it resurrected
Something hasn't changed
I am still here
Still trying to be true
And truthfully realistic
L Seagull Nov 2016
Poison dripping off my chin
Little did I know when the words
Slipped off my lips
Little did I mean or maybe I did
In the darkness of unintentionality
My thoughts flow mixed with feelings
Unexpressed
The anger swallowed by compassion
Is a slow poison
And it overflows
L Seagull Jan 2018
Sometimes understanding another’s limitations
Doesn’t make *******
Less stinky
Even though I appreciate the bravery
I cannot take the lie looking me
Straight in the face
What I do has to do with truth
And there is no truth
In presence of a fake maneken
L Seagull Jun 2016
Through fog and sullen thoughts
I move on I don't stop
Through limitations
I break free I leap off a cliff
I fall backwards to see the sky not the fear
Crashing or flying is not up to me
I am moved and I follow
Crazy and enlightened are two words
To describe refusal to follow
I sense and I comprehend
Not your words,
I can touch your intentions
The tender fragility behind the
Shell of impervious
Behind bravado of the narcissus
So small and shallow so afraid
Of seeing empty staring back from
The mirror reflection
No, I'm no better
I fear the void I fill it
To the brink like a pointless hobby
Feeling the ultimate
Does not help to shake off my humanity
Limitations everywhere reflect
The fear I carry like a favorite keepsake
Too human to let go
Had a big fight with someone yesterday, but came to realization - who am I to judge
L Seagull Jul 2016
Through endless repetition
Of strange days
Engulfing this alien spirit
A breath of rain, a ray of sun
Breaking throw morning curtains,
A loving touch and
A look of openness on the face I love
So beautiful - I fight on
To feel alive
L Seagull Jan 2018
Sometime I swallow a pause
A fishy tail invisibly sticking out
Of my open mouth trying to
Force syllables in some coherent order
Like beads on a string
That’s too thick I push the words
With all my lightweight might
And see them spread awkwardly
Reflected in some pair of eyes
There is a cold feeling inside my chest
I do not wish to see
Your silent question
I am hiding somewhere
While the other one takes hold
Arrogant *****
I just listen to her speak
With disdain
How did I get lost
So deep in the forest
Of myself
Why small talking
Became so confusing
Pulled an all-nighter yesterday - today found out that my brain is going back into its silent mode. So strange when the idea is formed in your mind but the words just don’t stick together and spread apart like broken beads on the floor. Not that I wanted to talk to anyone. It’s just this weird lack of control over my brain while I am being tortured by my inescapable self-awareness
L Seagull May 2017
The flying feeling of crashing into bits
It's bitter sweet
It's strange
Not to explain
I see it
In the spectrum
Between the light
Of truth at the bottom of my heart
And the deepest dark
Of the sickening sorrow
Instilling life beyond
Reason
And the clouds
Are so ******* beautiful
L Seagull Mar 2017
You hit me once
I hit you back
You gave a kick
I gave a slap
You smashed a plate
Over my head
Then I set fire to our bed

You hit me once
I hit you back
You gave a kick
I gave a slap
You smashed a plate
Over my head
Then I set fire to our bed

My black eye casts no shadow
Your red eye sees no blame
Your slaps don't stick
Your kicks don't hit
So we remain the same
Blood sticks, sweat drips
Break the lock if it don't fit
A kick in the teeth is good for some
A kiss with a fist is better than none
Whoa a kiss with a fist is better than none

Broke your jaw once before
I spilt your blood upon the floor
You broke my leg in return
So let's sit back and watch the bed burn
Blood sticks sweat drips
Break the lock if it don't fit
A kick in the teeth is good for some
A kiss with a fist is better than none
Whoa a kiss with a fist is better than none

You hit me once
I hit you back
You gave a kick
I gave a slap
You smashed a plate over my head
Then I set fire to our bed

You hit me once
I hit you back
You gave a kick
I gave a slap
You smashed a plate over my head
Then I set fire to our bed
Had a steamy fight with my hubby... it's interesting how I can love him and wish to **** him at the same time. A lot!
L Seagull Nov 2016
Frustration tinckling burning stretching
Boundaries unknown forlorn chocking
Safety net safety run from it run towards it
Run somewhere then stand still and smell
Roses stones grass manure ozon after the rain
Face down into mud wet dusty thick lick it
Power of random existence with only an
Unexplainable draw of some strange kind
The kind of kindness or despair inexplicable
My arms outstretched to merge into your
Sorrow
I feel alive in it I float and see the light and
Open the window to let the air in
Then exhausted I crash and forget who was it
I was supposed to be
L Seagull Aug 2016
Didn't think Xenophobe was
A compliment few things I despise
More, like smallness for one narcissism and shallowness for another
Always felt a little black and a little homeless
Hardly ever seen from the first glance
They think it's snobbish I call it zoned out
I like it there in my space where your
Predictable logic has no place to be
They think judgemental when
Under an honest stare
They poor out their truths
Expecting I must like Jesus give them love
And answers
How could I ever lose touch with words?
So articulate you say. I go mute but you will never know.
But all you wish to know is a stereotype
A pretty tale that puts more value
On your price tag
Nothing you knew
Nothing you will ever know
For all you see is your own
Limited empty reflection
L Seagull May 2016
Quilt pieces sewn together
To map the way towards light
The quest for inner freedom
American denim squares
Painted, scripted, reflecting
The inner worlds of youth
Those eye overting open on the inside
Vulnerable and ever so hopeful
Escaping cruelty found
Where love had to reside
Damaged but resilient
And still so beautifully naive
Afraid to start the journey
Imagination is an unsafe place
Where bad memories hide
Behind every corner
Superpowers for safety
Boldness and courage
Anxiety - the dizziness of freedom
When violence is kept at bay
Freedom to turn away
Freedom to find the law
Freedom to not give up
Freedom to fly with chains
Freedom to eat your food
Freedom to pray your god
Freedom to keep your hope
In the big city miracles
Are kept alive
Finally finished the project I was working on with my group of teens at an agency serving victims of domestic violence. This poem described some of the themes that came up in their art in response to the question what freedom means to them.
L Seagull Aug 2016
Did I hear the f word
Slip off your lips?
Oh no honey
Don't kid yourself
I stand firmly on this
Ground of mine
And see clearly who f is and is not
You got no gene or strength
To do all those boring
Silly things
Hold care be loyal be reliable
You grasp meaning in those...
Rattle in the wind
The f you are for no one  
When you aren't F for yourself
So here I am
Holding on to the truth
And an honest promise
Calling us partners in
Heavy knowledge
My shoulder is here
For you
For the sake of
Humanity
No sentiments
I will rely on you
When desperate to fall
Face down into a puddle of mud
L Seagull Jun 2016
When reality bubbles up and
Bursts into myriads of sparkly
Particles disintegrated because
Your core cannot hold them together
By the thread of meaning
What is left of experience?
Does letting go of predictability
Inside the dome of your inner sky
Lets you fly kites
Or threatens with annihilation?
When I look into another set of eyes
I am so often afraid to see
The bottom, small bits of depth
Scattered around thin like dust and last year's
Crumbs, or desire to elevate
By the thread of illusion
Above someone at least,
Someone who would allow,
Because inside the hollow space holds scale,
A chest of fear and a guard called shame
I am afraid to see
Seeing is one thing I cannot hide
Punished by it over and over again
Naively and stubbornly, I refuse to use it
Connection hurts those who lack the chip
They demand, unaccepting
Why can't you be like us?
Follow the rules we know?
I try not to look at them,
Preserve peace of their dream
Where connection never existed
The food that sustains my spirit
I can't see them, your rules
lost instructions, lost in translation
deliberately, even in the native tongue
I wish to escape this world
To find the truth that sticks
Yet love holds me close to earth
It expands and multiplies
Grows as it gives,
I wish to offer everything there is
Of me, and dissolve
In the chain of destinies
Craftful creation of some
Universal pattern
strawberry pickin, cake bakin, ****** mary drinkin, really can't complain, skinny self-absorbed alien that I am;)
L Seagull Jun 2016
Meek your *** dear
Weak thinking dear
Limited as a ruler
Trying to stuff what
You don't get into a box
Too small, hoping
Maybe held in a pocket
It will be easier to
Comprehend
By the brain too tired
To be open
Some people think weakness when shown defines a person. How limited is that? Everyone who achieved anything in life did so in part because of all the challenges they had to overcome
F U
L Seagull May 2016
F U
Oh dear
Look who's is back
No, no, dear how could I forget?
Neither did the corners of my lips
Its you again,
The underbelly of a stray dog
Basking in its lonesome spite
Or was it spit...
Say hi to muse when she floats by
I know she was a rare visitor
On your mission to please the average
Probably looking for your lost authenticity
But hey,
There's always room for growth
Until you're hundred

Your broken bits are sharp
I don't deny
I've seen that righteous hatred
Before
I grew amongst it too
Smelled the stench of hopeless
But hey, you chose direction
Like you did today

I'm sure it's a relief
Rubbing the gritty corner of your nasty blanket
The memory you oh so faithfully obey
Good boy you are!
That's right
Daddy knows better.

Oh poor you
Hard not to be disgusted  
Who doesn't trust cannot be trusted
Been a little annoyed lately
L Seagull Nov 2016
Disturbed to my core
Worried about the colors of rainbow
Equality of love
Justice to see women and men for who they truly are
Despite their physical nature
Terrified for the ***** teenage girls
And their children born to be despised and abandoned
Hardworking imigrant parents
Poor starving civilians in Syria
And their children under the bomb attacks
Jails overflowing with innocent people
All the poor children who will fall through the cracks
Never cared for by neither parents nor the system
I am terrified that the world can be so affected
By nonsense proclamations
Of a narcissistic subhuman
To whom life is but a reality show
How the **** did this happen?
Couldn't sleep at all night
L Seagull May 2016
“Do you know, to my thinking it's a good thing sometimes to be absurd; it's better in fact, it makes it easier to forgive one another, it's easier to be humble. One can't understand everything at once, we can't begin with perfection all at once! In order to reach perfection one must begin by being ignorant of a great deal. And if we understand things too quickly, perhaps we shan't understand them thoroughly.”
L Seagull Nov 2016
Thank new day for the change
Thank moment for curious uncertainty
Thank body for the will to comfort and be comforted
Thank history for a key to life without mistakes
Thank water and air for connecting all that is alive
Thank those who love us for recognizing our essence
Thank death for teaching me the meaning of life
Thank truth for keeping me on track
Thank sky for the first snow
Thank hearth for the crackling blaze and mysterious beautify of danger
Thank future for the image of possibility
Of that which might never happen
But is always possible
Cancel the turkey, give thanks and pray for dead Indians
L Seagull Dec 2017
I swam in love today
Of dozens of tight squeezes
Coming from ever unnoticed
But such a bright heart ... many hearts
So many I cannot contain
How big the piece of my soul
That will always stay with them
How important is the presence
Of a deeper eye that
Connects us with our essence
And the beauty of our spirit
Give what you have not received
It is the greatest source
Not sure what’s next. Politics at work, people don’t like my influence. But the goodbyes where one of the most important experiences I ever had. How much meaning could be in small interactions, how much soul, how much love and meaning. Hearing what clients had to say feels too much right now. It wasn’t me, it was something that guided me. I do not deserve such praise
L Seagull Dec 2017
You go snake
Spit your ***** venom
All over the room
Staged performance
With puppets
You aren’t yet tired
Playing
So much effort to destroy
The ground I send on
Seeking my exposed vulnerabilities
With your cold eyes
Sore for misery
Forgive me snake
I have a yawn and a laugh
To give but not to share
My face perfectly relaxed
As I imagine
Your anihilation.
L Seagull May 2017
From morning to dawn
Whipping mixing baking smelling
Handfuls of what I can't resist
To give
My love for you
Only to see you
Munch it away
The cutest sight
Why
Feeding you feels
So satisfying?
I do hope my little birthday pea doesn't get affected too much by my uncontrollable desire to stuff her with food all day long
L Seagull Sep 2016
And if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go chasin' the nuns out in the yard
And I'll run naked through the streets without my mask on
And I will never need umbrellas in the rain
I'll wake up in strawberry fields every day
And the atrocities of school I can forgive
The happy phantom has no right to *****
Oh who
The time is getting closer
Oh who
Time to be a ghost
Oh who
Every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will we pay for who we been?

So if I die today I'll be the happy phantom
And I'll go wearin' my naughties like a jewel
They'll be my ticket to the universal opera
There's Judy Garland taking Buddha by the hand
And then these seven little men get up to dance
They say Confucius does his crossword with a pen
I'm still the angel to a girl who hates to sin

Oh who
The time is getting closer
Oh who
Time to be a ghost
Oh who
Every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will I pay for who I've been, yeah?

Or will I see you dear and wish I could come back
You found a girl that you could truly love again
Will you still call for me when she falls asleep
Or do we soon forget the things we cannot see

Oh who
The time is getting closer
Oh who
Time to be a ghost
Oh who
Every day we're getting closer
The sun is getting dim
Will we pay for who we been?
Love this song! Enjoy the weekend while it's still here
L Seagull Jan 2018
When the cymbals took over the orchestra
The violin cried in desperation
Her fragile voice unheard between the
Cacophonous clanking of metal against the noise
She knew her song well, didn’t have to learn it
She was born with s gift of transcending
Both ecstasy and trembling sorrow
She was born to grasp the soul and sink
Right into the softness of all the
Vulnerable memories and fragile hopes
Waiting to be heard, eager to connect
Many hearts with the sound of the same
Truth vibrating through the rhythmic
Backbone of the drums in unison with
Mister piano who conservatively
Waited for his turn to assemble the lace
Of meaning between them all
But the stubborn cymbals persisted
Thinking their role essential for sun to shine
The role of thundersome emphasis
And emphasis they loved
Believing it to be the salt of any intention
The driving force sure to leave impact
The certainty of it felt like the final word
And the force that span the little universe of the orchestra
Always forward no time for questioning
Or stepping out of line
Or  off with their heads and  proceed with routine
And only sometimes when light beam brought up
Old memories they reminisced about the slender
Deeply absent face of conductress
Who knew the worth of each
And guided them with dine provision
Of her soundless presence
That made them all so connected
In their partial spotlight
As they used their strengths
To channel that which only
Deaf will undermine
The pure harmony
Of coexistence
Been learning about a very popular current approach in therapy called Internal Family Systems. Conductor represents the role of Self, which according to this theory is a state of pure consciousness capable of orchestrating the coexistence and cooperation between the different sub-personalities . P.S. I’ve been having a total lack of inspiration when it comes to words lately. So, this is just an attempt to put out some awkwardly put together thoughts because I believe the main idea is very important. P.P.S. I know I’m a nerd - sorry... or not sorry)
L Seagull Aug 2017
Love me on my good days
When I try and believe
That the past is gone and cold be forgotten
Finally all is new and history is to be erased
And after the bad days pass
Break the mirror in your mind
Only capture the sweet strong and wise
Help me escape reality
Help me to stay in my hiding spot
Where I needn't see myself
Needn't saw together the pieces that flew
So far apart I can't imagine them
Back together
Better off treat me as...
Harry Potter?
You're still here
So for goodness sake
Don't have feelings
Be a useful object
Some people are so used to being alone in their world they don't know how to have a relationship. So what is there to do? Hope they'll learn to tolerate and appreciate humanity - their own and then yours. Maybe some day they will find strength to accept their dark, take responsibility for it while still reaching for the light. Only strong spirit doesn't falter. But when it's weak - whatever the reason, it is your own responsibility now
L Seagull Oct 2017
Planes fly high
I'm tired and gone
L Seagull Apr 2018
Hospitals are great for
Keeping people alive
And checking for dead relationships
Done
L Seagull Jun 2016
There are times
When feeling pushes against the skin
Stretching it until it comes apart
Along the seems of what you thought
Was polite and acceptable
Threatened by your own self you
Swallow it deeper to preserve
The bond, but alas it's broken
By your silence
This steam will burn you
And will fire out uncontrollably
When your mind falls asleep
Find the words
Have some faith in human race
To show you that your feelings matter
L Seagull Jul 2016
Feeling trembling reverberating
Inside my chest in my temples
Eyes sore from trying to see
The world behind a heavy cloud of
Smoke emitted from burning
Of the past hopes foliage
Angst frustration mess of it all
Cavelike all absorbing darkness
Sipping into the pores
Is anybody here?
Can't see outside my mind
All a blur unfocused disorganized mess
Of a meaning, structure fallen apart
Windswept keepsakes
Pages into ashes
Graphite could become a diamond
But this painful moment
Is more precious still
And so I write
L Seagull Jan 2017
Some things are here to stay
And when you know they need you
That is when you're bound to them forever
Through busy days and hustling cities
The meaning of it all
Universal
Ultimate
True
I love my job
L Seagull Sep 2016
Step forward?
But what if I fail
To fail on living again
I might have less hope
Then no hope
And the darkness
Will swallow
The rest
Do or do not, there is no try. Amen. Yoda
L Seagull Feb 2019
Nothing more than
A non spoken presence
Felt deeply
Next page