Sometimes, you have to shake your head and say "***** it." Divert your attention to something new and you'll find something precious.

When the plane seems like it's nosediving
And you can't gain control
When the future worries you
Because of the past
Just shrug and smile and know
That few as they are,
There are people that truly care

and dear Lord, I am so glad that there is more to me than this.

It was worth it.
It was all worth it, I know.
Not a single doubt in my mind now.

It's so hard to forgive someone-
it's hard even to know what forgiveness is
should I agree that the wrong was necessary
should I sympathize with the wrongdoer
should I forget it ever happened
should I act as if it didn't
should I say something to you
I don't know. I don't know. All I know is when
I said, "I forgive you," even alone so no one heard,
a little piece of my heart unclenched,
a little shackle round my veins was let loose
and I knew then that when I said, "I forgive you,"
it was a better way of saying "I love you" and I knew that
the locks and loops holding me back were tied together
with my ability to forgive myself. I'm glad I saw this through.

--but i have realized
that i live for the ash in your eyes,
the shadows i kiss from your collarbones
the unspoken flames that dance
                                     across your skin

igniting, consuming.
between the swirling dust
and your smoky eyelashes,
i breathe you,
choke on the embers and
love every moment of it.