I believe your music choice
Can embody your voice
It is your choice
Fall in love with a man or little boy
To be respected or treated like a toy

It is your decision
To dream or follow that vision
You could create collisions
That led to nothing but divisions
Between you and your peers
Or you can stop and hear
And keep your loved ones near
You can opt to live in fear
At anyone who looks at you and sneers
Or you can wipe your eyes
And finally see clear

You pick the path you want to live
Whether you take or give
You can stay and grieve
Or pick up and leave

You do have options
To thrive in caution
To fill your life with toxins
Be so depressed, you almost lost it
Or follow the opposite
Take risks and earn profit
Aim to be a prophet
Eat the most sweet chocolate

I've been on both sides
That I no longer hide
It's what you choose
*That's makes it a much better ride

There's a side to me
That no one knows
It hides and wears within my bones
It lays low and hides
It does not show
It's concealed inside
So old and worn

I've forgotten how to cry
It has grown in me and wants me to die
It forces me to sit and wonder why
Why do I even try
It's a monster
Not a cute one with fur
That I am sure
It's atrocious and dark
It has swallowed my heart
And ripped me apart

It has strangled and tortured me
And held me back from what I could be
All I wants is to feed
Feed off what it needs
Blinding my eyes of what I used to see
I can hear it scream and wail
Wanting me to fail
I try to fight
But I fear of its bite
It beats me with its whip
There's blood on my lip
But the internal pain exceeds the hit

I don't expect much out of people
I've watched so many leave
But I still have this everlasting hope
It's the only way I can cope
It's still hard to not be upset
When my expectations are not met

I have such high standards
But **** does it hurt
I believe I deserve the best
It has only created a mess

I try to remember when did this all start
Everything hit me like a million darts
I wish you could all see this evil thing
It has beaten me and burned me
And now everything stings
I used to take the world by storm
Now a simple smile makes me cringe
How can you trust anyone
When deceit and lies are the norm

The creature likes to live in my bones
I have let it become overgrown
And give it a place to call home
But to be honest I'm all alone
Except for the creature that I've have gotten so close to have known

I have always had a wild imagination  
Especially when I was younger
A endless flow of questions
Of everything across the nation
I wanted reasons, causation
I wanted to know the foundation
The formation
About any human creation
I had this fixation
It helped me make relations
But at times ended in frustration
At times my questions seemingly
lingered in the air
And I always stared
At it Suspended
As if time stopped
But only for me
Until an answer appeared
Because I couldn't move on until I knew
But majority of the time
An answer never came
It caused me to boil in pain
And steam sizzled my thirst for knowledge even thought the heaviest rain
As if the world believed this was all some child's game
Each raindrop pounding against my body were punches against my soul
Droplet by droplet
I wanted to scream stop it
But then water filled my mouth from the sky's faucet
Like I never grew out of a child's fantasy

The light blares red
Ordering me to obey
To stay is what's screaming in my head
I choose not to live this way
I thrive on dysfunction
The hunt for affection
I cannot be controlled
Or be put on hold
If you push, I'll pull

I do not comply
I take what's mine
Telling a life of lies
I am secretive
But this is the life I live
I call the shots
Taking the first spot
Craving more
Always one to be sure
I put up a fight
I run red lights

When others see red
I am blinded by greens
People claim I am mean
A deceitful machine
I chose to put on this mask
Never relaxed
I don't do what's asked
I live by no task

I am pollution
Bearing no solution
I am a flake
I don't give, I take
This is the only life I know
Nothing else to show
I wreak havoc every step I take
No responsibility for the lives at stake

So when I see red
I will not obey
I live my life my own way
But if I get a ticket
Remember there is no stopping
**Wicked

You're just my type
Everything I like
I've got you in my sight
Caught in the spotlight
****...it's so bright
Give it a try, I just might
This could be so right
Even the perfect height
Being with you is like full flight
Higher than a child's kite
You even got the same musical likes
Not even scared, no fright
My heart skips beats, yikes
You and me, that'd be tight
I think it could work, quite
Trust me, I don't bite
*How else to explain it,
Other than to write?

So lemme tell you about this guy
Hmm yeah I'd call him a bit shy
And he doesn't always say the best lines
But the way he looks at me is so prime
He puts his heart in everything he does
He doesn't need a reason it's just ******* because
Sometimes he's a mess
I still love him
He is the best
Backtrack to our first kiss
it was a bit comparable to this
I bet you could already guess
It wasn't our very best
I started to awkwardly smile
He was nervous for quite awhile
As he held me tight
I realized everything's alright
It was quite the risk
At least we didn't miss
Trying to find each others lips
This was all so new
Didn't know what to do
Still trying to figure each other out
It just happened, mouth to mouth
With him I just couldn't breathe
Now he is everything I need
I knew from his stupid grin
That yup this is him
And how his hand feels so right in mine
That with him there's never enough time
Him by my side makes me unwind
Everything feels so fine
Like the feeling when everything perfectly rhymes
Those moments where he just holds my hand
Are the ones I play over and over again
I never knew love
Now I can't get enough
We say the cheesiest stuff
Maybe that's what happens when you have trust
I talk too much which can get annoying
And he spaces out in silence which can make it boring
I don't make much sense
And he is trapped within a fence
We are so wrong for each other
Is what is constantly said by my mother
And what is said by his father
Is that I might just make his heart hurt
But to be honest I don't care
A life without him is a nightmare
He is someone I don't want to share
I swear who is he, he's rare
I miss him too much
He gives me a rush
Even from the slightest touch
Ha I remember when he first told me he loved me
I almost wanted to flee and leave
Love me? Oh please
Something I couldn't believe
I feared it was a tease
I actually got mad
This was something I've never had
I was scared to love someone back
I've never felt this before
Compared to everyone he loved me more
I fear losing him
A result that looks grim
I wanted a relationship that was deeper
Once he did too I know he was a keeper
He knows all my secrets
I know he'll keep it
I never want to be alone
Because now he is my home
I need him from every inch of my bones
when I see the future I only think we
He has become something I need
I find relevance of him in everything I see
The one I long for when I pick up a phone
The one who motivates me when I'm in the zone
He's in the military
And to me that's pretty scary
Even though we are separated by miles
When he's with me I see him holding back that smile
Yeah he's pretty tough being in the marines
But we totally make the best team
He is the one I always miss
Waiting for a kiss
Not gonna lie sometimes it *****
I swear just my luck
But he's doing great things serving our country
And Im in college learning and struggling to pay for laundry
Some people think I'm a nut
And every once in awhile I feel like giving up
But he's my first love
Every relationship is a bit rough
Even if one day we end up not working out
He couldn't have made me more proud
But I'll always love him forever now
That's for sure without a doubt
I've never had my heart beat so loud
I told you about this guy
So now you understand why
I always stand when I see an American flag
And I try not to be sad
I keep all the memories
And close my eyes in the breeze
And somehow
He ended up with me
and I've never felt more free

Cure me of this plague
That's snaking around my throat
It's been stalking me
Something you all can't see

Allow me to tiptoe
To avoid confrontation
Social humiliation

I could speak if I could only say the words
Cure me
Of the echoing dull in my heart
A dying buzz
But this plague has wrapped itself around my mouth
I can't talk but my thoughts are so loud
In my mind I am strong wearing a lovely crown
Then why is that nothing comes out
Not even a sound?

I'm stressed
Always trying to do my best
But it's hard when you're obsessed
With trying to be "perfect"
And you end up depressed
I don't just want attention this isn't a sign of distress
I'm really not trying to fret
But how when you're such a mess
Man, what the ****, there's a test?
This disease is suffocating my neck
It's tightening its grasp, I can feel it compress
Tell me the truth, do I look like a mess?
I try to look nice, so you wouldn't ever guess
This disease is terminal, it's called stress

I'm that girl everyone believes is quiet, but my heart and my mind is so loud it won't shut up

I would sing if I didn't care who heard
I lost my voice long ago
I don't fight my fears, I just go
The vines of struggle circling my feet
Threatening to tighten
Forever clutching
Me in its embrace

I hear my mom screaming to try harder
That if I really wanted to succeed
I'd try harder
That if I wanted something
Try harder
Is that an excuse ?
Try harder
Mom, how hard till I forget who I am?
Too late

I'm trying to breathe
Inhale
I need you
You say you know me
Maybe I don't want you to
The biggest lie, can't you see?
Because I don't even understand me
I hide behind poetry
Gasping, losing air
Oh wait, I almost forgot
To exhale

Cure me
Before It spreads
To you