i thought i'd have more to write about this
but i've got nothing
this whole summer i've been nothing

if anything makes it to autumn,
please let my plants live

Happiness is thick air,
Full of anticipation;
A silvery autumn breeze
Skating across the textured sky;
Laughter bouncing between friends,
Escaping briefly to bring smiles to the faces of onlookers.
Nostalgia is when the moon is bright,
So the whole family steps outside to see it;
Driving at daybreak,
Hues of pink and gold and orange painting one’s vision;
Not quite catching fireflies,
But reaching for them anyway.
Anger is a rainy day,
When the sun still glimmers through the dark clouds;
An eyelash perched delicately on someone’s cheek,
Wiped away without a wish being made;
The pounding of music,
As it shakes bones and rattles hearts.
Sadness is a freezing winter night,
When not even breaths can be kept secret;
The dim glow of streetlamps at the glimmer of dawn,
Flickering before going out altogether until night falls again;
The last whisper of color in the air,
In the unrecognized moment that day warps into night and the world is almost still.
Emotions are yours to define.

A sickness rises from my stomach
Through my chest, into my throat, making a mess of me
(i refuse to let it spill from my mouth)
Sometimes it’s all i can feel
It becomes a comfort, and one of many fears
I am distressed that i may be obvious, pesky, and ignored
But my heart fell from my sleeve long ago
And my own feet tread over it.
Silence burns in my throat and compresses my chest
Words that refuse to be said haunt my thoughts
The ringing in my ears is ever-present;
Nothing is loud enough, and silence too often deafens me
Harshness radiates from me, unwanted, but always lingering
My existence is much too clumsy.
My vanity vies for attention (and is abrasively rebuked by heart and mind)
Heart and mind are always at war, united only against me
Laughing used to help,
But it’s not that funny anymore
It hurts.
I don’t like being sick
(but i don’t try to get better).