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and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it
There are days
when the rain seems
like nothing more
than inconvenience,
and puddles, messes,
and noise.

More often than not, though,
the rain has been a friend,
a companion of sorts.

It has lessened the
loneliness in moments
of grief and despair,
as it shared in
inconsolable
and silent tears.

It has covered me
like a warm blanket,
as it washed away
the fears.

More often than not,
the rain has been
a path to renewal,
a baptism most sacred.

Even the melody
and timber of the rain
has often soothed me,
like white noise
can comfort a
restless child.

The rain can consume
and wash out
and drown,
pushing unwanted
memories and dreams
down an any-named road,
for miles and miles.

For me, more often
than not,
it provides shroud
and cover from the sun’s
intense heat,
inspiring gratitude
and most joyful
smiles.



~ by Mercurychyld
Copyrights
as the tide rushes outward
its foam signature remains
on the infinite shoreline
like our memories
 Aug 2014 Kim E Williams
a gale
I wanna be the girl that makes you smile on a bad day
the girl you can’t wait to see everyday
the girl that your mind leads to out of the blue
the girl that makes you happy
the girl you’d wait for in your whole  lifetime
the girl you can’t stand losing
the girl that you’ll never let go of
the girl you’ve painted your future with
the girl that would take your last name
the girl to mutter ‘I do’ on your wedding day
the girl that you’d love last
the girl you’d hold onto when your hair is gray
I just want to be
The girl I’ll never be.

*a. gale
Place your hand upon my chest.
It reminds me how it feels when it's mended.
Then use it to cradle your head while you rest.
The worst of it, like the day, has ended.
 Aug 2014 Kim E Williams
a gale
Mine
 Aug 2014 Kim E Williams
a gale
I can call you
an acquaintance
someone I know
or even a friend
whom I've come to understand
I can call you
darling or dear
but there's nothing there
I can simply call you
by your first name
just like everyone else
or even your last name
which I'd like to have as well
I can call you anything
but I can never
call you mine

*a. gale
I came here to seek refuge
I came here and slept in refuse
And when I searched for help, I found no love​
When I cried for freedom, I couldn’t see above
So I gave my life, heart to you

I fell into you and found refuge
I fell into you and I couldn’t refuse
You took my life and squeezed me dry
You burnt my soul and left me high
So I lost my head, myself to you

All I wanted was refuge
All I wanted was not to be refused
Exchanging depression for oppression
Repression for apparent expression
And I gave my love, my whole to you

What I found was false refuge
What I needed was to refuse
I worked the night and pushed the day
I cruised for hope and fought dismay
Not for me, I fought for you

Time slowed and all became pain
I held my breathe and felt the strain
You tore my heart out from my chest
Held it above its open nest
You said you left me. But I left you

And now I clearly live in refuge
And sleep in peace and always refuse
I want the finer things in life
Not to be the minor thing in life
I fight for me now not for you
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