I tried to write about abuse
How the hitting makes the
Hurting ease
The shame and fear rage out and strike
Bleeding, pulsing crimson shrieks and shouts
Curling fists and guts
Determined to be done
To be finished with the fear and frustration
Cursing, blaming, hating another person
And yourself is somehow easier
More natural
When loving isn't easily
There, anywhere
Absent from awareness like
Light in the darkness jumping shadows

But then, I wasn't sure if I was writing about him or her...

Ouch.

With a word
Slipping
Like the stroke from hip to her
Poetry
Comes

Why do you remain
There
A brush against me
Radiating
Passion inside my senses
Leaving
Me longing for more?

Your voice sang today
Mournful
Lyrics of loss and hope
Ascending
...Falling
Tones of fluttering invitation
Kissing
Gently within my moments

Haunting.

Idol Life

When you've read the holy scriptures of countless wise fanatics
When you've pondered the tallied tales of positive thinkers
When you've sailed the seas of helpful suggestions and poignant promises
When you've chosen choices cast in caring coy iterations
When you've jumped up and down embracing the enthusiasm of enthusiasts
When you've done years upon years of carefully crafted…eating…praying...loving
When you've walked down endless miles of isles to alluring altars
When you've run, climbed and stood in search of joy
And
When you have nothing more to show for it than a collection of geometric idols and savvy souvenirs
Cast in cried out salt and stripped marrow…
Are you done?

The layers peel
With a severe ease
Sub-dermal lament rides
Desire

Peeling

Cracking drafts of promises
Too familiar, too simple
Latent memory unveiled
Need

Peeling, peeling

Like dead skin from a sunburned thigh.

Heard a hip-hop anthem today

BOSS

“Michelle Obama… purse so heavy… getting Oprah dollars…”

A rhythmic dance beat spelling out

Confidence

And

Respect

A baller banner of pride

Flung to the ceiling, waving

Women’s independence

Black women’s power

I see it…

But

Is an album adorned with 5 sultry females

Clad only in a man’s shirt and high heels

Singing show me the money

Sold to the club scene to inspire ***** shaking

And Yeager bomb throwing

So we forget the work week challenges

Relationship pains

And

Embrace vicariously our entitlements

HELPFUL?

Just before dawn
The moon looms
Bright, bold
Shining through the skin
Of clouds
Sliding across her
Like the lace gliding off your
Shoulders
Last night…

The digital exhale
Pushing out
Content creation and idea regurgitation
Outfacing ideas, concepts
These things become the shell, the defined exterior of us
The fodder for perceptions
Of others
About us
We update, share, ideate and create
We post, pronounce and proclaim
We share with trite exclamations
Cute cats
And clever #hashtags
We spray forth our digital exhale
Hoping
Believing that we will be, become this feed
Of me
Until we are
Out
Of breath
And then
We must, gasping
Pause. Stop.
In the momentary emptiness of ourselves
The frightening hollow
Of our millisecond of solitude
Touches of singularity
Haunting, taunting us
With ourselves

Screen time
We need to have
Essential
Moments of mandatory misery
Grasping, tugging emotions
Un-liked, ignored emoticons
The puffed-green faces of ourselves
Dot
The landscape and portraits of
Screens
Screaming at, about, into
The refined, together
Socially happy selves
That we would be, should be
If we abide broadcast expectations
Joyful, complete, happy, helpful
Free…
We are not
Not always
Precisely completed
Or so
These moments
Remind us
With beautiful
Misery

Eagles weep the dust of fury
            Glory hangs in a breeze filled sky
Trumpets howl forth silence
            Empty eyes gaze on debris and cry

Paradox rains upon sweltering souls
            Discordant melodies find no harmonic tone
Sleeping giants fail to wake
           Dreams of horror in daylight come

Restrained talons seek to rip
            Flesh and bone. Retribution wails
Bridled shouts from viper lips          
             Broken tongues speechless, still

Such foreign chaos, grief born questions
            Here rests doubt, fear rooting
Anger to pain beget rage
            Tearing fabric, destroying the shoot

A blast through heart’s cage
            Cries, screams and eternal rage
Why! Demands our soul
            Why? Defiant voices entreat

Into this realm of despair
            Touching sinew of exposed hope
Lifting corpse-like remains
            Our Hope stands, lifted hands

In a speechless voice the whisper comes
            Gentle words rock our perilous stance
Words carefully spoken, deeply heard
            Faith, Hope, Love the memory calls

Again, glorious birds will find their songs
            Heavy banners will lift in a gentle breeze
Clarion call of brass sounds, proclaims
            Life has come and still remains

who are you,
this creature with my face and eyes,
small and fleet running rampant here?
what quest brings you
to devour my joy or chase away my ease
ever cackling as you go, flinging scorn and disdain?
come, troubler of spirits
rest here on my lap and tell me what fuels your frenzy
how comes your recent troubled flight?
sit with me
let us wait together for the rain
and
waterfalls often bring sprites in drops of tears and sweet dew
my familiar.

If you are looking at
Me and My Generation
Shaking your head
Grumbling ***?!
Walk away and do something
AMAZINGLY better
I'm good with that
Jack

Trembling hands hold
Tentatively
Dog-eared photos

Warped eyes search
Wandering
Among lost silhouettes

Recollection yields
Reluctantly
Touching memories

Piercing shards threaten
Precisely
Self worth

i want to bleed
let the ruby stream flow
from self inflicted wounds
rush forth with all life, zest and hope
pulsing screams into despair
velvet waves overflowing proper boundaries

i want to bleed
a river
washing out decaying debris
rotting carcasses swept away
foul orgnaic rot lifted from the land
of now remembered errors
move on, ever away to another place

i want to bleed
until the last drops fall silently
tears of mute agony upon parched land
leaving only dust, lifeless casts
unseen by all but a few
you
mindless
of the flood that once flowed
until
they too … long to bleed

Lust
One of those words that turns you
Grabs likes and causes comments
Lustful
Lingering upon lust
Requires courage for we can be trapped
Inside her endless taunting and tasting
Saltiness of you while waves crashing
Cause us to linger...lost
In the luscious luxury of you
Lust...
Shhhhhh...
We dare not speak your other names
***
Passion
Pleasure
Self satisfaction
Sultry sensuous
Luxurious lust...

She is Moonshine...

Harvest moon, radiant blast across the horizon
diminishing anything near the sound of her light
taunting us with the threat of reverting to a simple, normal
part of our world if we look too late or move too close.

She is Moonshine

Full moon, raising werewolves and iconic myths
making day of the darkness and drawing
florescent strokes across every able bodied pond
waving boldly coming too in due cycle

She is Moonshine...

Shiva moon, a promise and goodbye
deadly waxing and waning of war and peace
the confidently ignored reminder of our mortality
veiled carelessly by translucent clouds

She is Moonshine...

Day time moon, pale and out of place
whimsically demanding to be seen
unafraid of the brightest sun or the bluest mood
a broad daylight

She is Moonshine...

To drink, clear, forbidden and dangerous
Intoxicating, even in small portions
Promising to burn you from throat to belly
And warm your bowels through the coldest doubts

She is Moonshine.

Crisp cotton sheets
Wrapped in layers of down and doubt
Silken shifts and daring dreams
Wandering arms, hands and schemes
In this sunrise, season, shaping
We meet

Morning.

See them hiding there…behind
The ***-umptions
Peeking within the cheeks of clauses
Phrases
Phantoms daring to pronounce
Your memories
Best forgotten and sullen
Actions
Pole dancing impressions on the axis of
Anxiousness
Sliding silently along the line
From hip to ****
A cocked look from the slit ‘tween
Consonant on vowel
a.e.i.o…you
Know the no-nos
Whispering around conjunctions
Reminding you of other _unts
Too old or too young for sanctified hosts
Oh God…please don’t tell anyone
…still
God knows and my poems…
My poems know your secrets

Stopped
By
Pain in the back
Stilled
By
Mucus and head aches
Silenced
By
Laryngitis and miscellaneous fears

Stopped. Stilled. Silenced.

Filtered sun through mid-day blinds
Distilled thoughts of shallow mind
Yield
Little light or clarity

Sheets damp with familiar musk
Covers twisted into a personal husk
Descent
Into loathing and disdain

Stopped. Stilled. Revealed.

In sickness and in health
The union within of lies to self
Broken
Stolen
Dying…yielding

The din resonates
Countless voices frantically
Proclaim facades and personas

Below the cascade
Simplistic souls stand
Wall flowers in waiting

Perhaps a voice will ask
Shall we dance?

I want to write
About you
Your laughter, maniacal antics, wit
Witticism, whimsy
The way you made me think deep
Through the belly rolling, stomach cramping “please stop”
But not really…so much fun laughter…sent
To ponder the silliness of my existence
The absurdity of my serious self
Your fantastical smile and that particular sadness
In your eyes just beyond reach, casting a spell of
Connectivity
Humanity
…
I want to write about
The innumerable truths you spoke
Written in lines, given to you…owned by you
Known through you
“Words and ideas can change the world”
My world…
Why not your world?
**** it.
…
I want to write about you
But
I
Can’t…it hurts too much
Robin…
It hurts too much.

If I ever were to scribe

Verse and rhyme

Upon a broken line

Calling up metaphor

And trite analogy

To describe to thee

My Poetry

Shoot me

Please

My finger tips
Hold the thread of you
Dangling precariously
…
We had passion…
Promise
Promises
…
You linger at my touch
Hovering above the abyss
Pleading
…
We had the future…
Promise
Promises
…
It’s simple, a little flit, easy
Releasing the rest of you
To fall…fall

The last inches to go
Infinitely gone
Done

Before she quickly brushed it aside
her single tear drop traced a line-
like a silver scalpel slicing so quickly
through flesh
that bright bone is revealed before blood appears
- such was this tear
a momentary revealing that she cared too much
that her need was too great
that her hope for recognition, salvation actually, would not come
Not tonight
She had said no…

There is contemplation to be done
That will be left undone, again
Screens scream for my adoration
Demanding pixel friends await my liking
And a cute cat video and a political meme
Mimic my ideas into me
Providing for me
My thoughts and views
In screen time
And time again
Lapses through box and frame
Search to query
Filling the blanks of inquiry
Finding me glancing between profiles and bios
Building walls of windows
Leaving no space
For me to wander quietly
Among my heart…beat
And breath…taken

It’s in the eyes
Her plan and schemes
Invitations
Dreams

The tilt of the head
Her smile and tease
Curiosities
Ease

Light strokes of finger-tips
Her attentive caress
Promises
Success

…

Gnarled fingers hold
Gently
The dog-eared photos of youth
Shingled eyes search repeatedly
Among shades of white and ash
Wavering hope yields
Regret for memories lost, trampled
Underneath
Rote recollections
Snapped
This snap shot is…this…me?

Time and familiarity
Stirred us gently
Into one
Now without you
I ponder
How does one remove
The cream from the coffee?

We were told to expect snow
Snow, again.
Greeted by crisp hope and freezing air
We waited…
Dogs sniffed the air and each other
Hawks sat and wrapped themselves in feathered shawls
Discreet expectations
Anticipations of broken routines that might
Hold us captive to our homes
Caressed by comforting teas and naughty cakes

It didn’t snow.
Still, we stayed
Home
Held the dogs
Surrendered to self-imposed captivity

Clinging to gnarled branches
Timeless observer of time's
Passing
You sway through breezes and revolutions
Directing humanity's passage
Orchestrating

There our prayers and air feed you
A hint of sea salt to spice your tasting
Of our adventures and chaos
You, drape and linger
Delicate as a lover's kiss

With nothing but a wisp holding you
To lofty vantages
Observing us, coy and frantic
Your slight presence fans our dreams
While winter winds stirs embers and lovers stroll

see my marionettes take your stage
hear your laughter, feel your rage
safely sitting
program in hand
three cheers for the puppet man

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

i see your faces, swoons and frowns
watching puppet take puppet down
they 're not real, your thoughts remind
while silently I die standing behind

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

with human hate they dance for you
showing the worst that we can do
superb! delight! encore' you shout
so once more the toys come out

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

the lights are gone, empty isles now
i fall broken wondering how
these hands will heal, gather strength again
so, you can live through my gift, friend

pull the string, watch the dolls dance
blood runs from my finger tips
maybe this time it will change
calm my fears, ease my pain

see my marionettes take your stage
watch your laughter, feel your rage
safely sitting program in hand
three cheers for the puppet man

This morning
Damp with it all
The purple tongues
Of the Irises
Threaten to speak of painful memories

She always loved the spring
That the Irises announced
Arriving on palates
Of green and violet
Promises of tender possibilities

But, the spring never really changed
Anything of substance and
Colors run in summer rains
Pooling into charcoal swirls

And the Irises died
With a vain promise
Whispered into tomorrow’s
Memories

You know those days
When summer is giving way to autumn

When the day begins on crisp promises
Finding us
In layers of comfortable clothes
And gentle expectations

When both are ready to be stripped off
Cast aside along the path
To a beautiful day?

Today is one.

tilted...off

                           balance

unsettled...dis

                      eased

you seem so earth bound, so in place

all of you...well...many of you

no matter

for my restless and my peculiar sprite

                    screams...unheard

muffled into whispers

by convention and intentional

limitations...imposed on me...embraced

by me

for

there

is comfort in the arms of not doing...of shifting upon

the pea in the mattress...limping away from the stone in the shoe...enduring the unpleasant

incessant prodding

of ... of... you

to...for

too long

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD----- STOP!

i give up

...fine..now what?

tell me what to do! **** you.

---------silence----------

i need a translator for this constant, loud, chattering white noise...

Youth breaks in him

An inaudible scream

Like the soliloquy

Of a season

The last cicada's

Cry into the night

A muted announcement of

Unwanted waning

When the snow comes

It's fur cloak of white
Muffling and blending plans
Cardinals become red birds
And
Sophisticated adult schemes
Fall to childhood dreams

Cooling down from Summer
The air brushes, feather light
Eager leaves are already dancing to the ground
Life's boldness is waning
Comes now the stillness of our change
The season rests on my skin
iPod on shuffle
Mind on drift
Finds you in every line and melody