Lying in bed,
can't get you oughta my head.

rehashing the things i said,
wondering how it was read.

feel bad
if I made you sad

Feeling glad
for the times We had

Wonder why
I made you cry

Firewood, flowers, food and fudge
haven't seen you since,
but from my mind you will not budge.

Closed purple tulips of royalty
for My Grace

She shows them open totally
reddens my face

The stars we say are aligning,
just something about the timing

You seem so close
but yet so far
I often wonder where you are.

Are you there,
do you care

Its hard to share,
do I dare

At the screen I stare
Its tough to bare

A whole year disappears
standing alone at the end of the peer
in fear
you will never be near
why aren't you here
where's my beer
bring on the cheer
I can't see you from here
So I'll shed a tear
My dear

So close but yet so far
Now I wonder where you are

Gone from sight, you fade into the night
what seemed right has taken flight

With all my might, I resist and fight
chasing my demons into the night

The glowing dawn, now seems gone
must dig down deep to carry on

The path is dark the road is long
what filled my heart I guess was wrong

Its hard to swallow, torso is hollow
lump in my throat, no lifeboat

Not knowing is slowing my capacity for growing

Not loving is shoving my heart and soul into a big dark hole

My mind is unclear, clouded with fear
Abandonment and loss is the cause of my delusional mirage

Home alone, yet lost in a sea
of emotion that overwhelms me

I am mad
or so they say

Seems sad
the prophets way

I am bad
or so they say

Its always been
the prophets way

Shine the light
on the right

Resist and fight
ink is might

I am mad
or so they say

but I will live to fight another day

Every spring I get this thing
where my thoughts take wing
and my soul wants to sing

It was after the last fall
when it seemed winter had taken it all
that my world became small

It was only then I could see
you were right for me
and maybe we were meant to be
after all

I love mother nature
so i choose to live by the Sea
She can be beautiful,
as well as brutal
But She has always been good to me

There is beauty all around me, even in the trees
Near half a century here, yet still struggle with the birds and the bees - but **** I love those chickadees

As beautiful as they are, I love them from afar
my scarred heart tucked safely away in a wine jar

So its another snow day
Cold miserable and grey

Alone
Wondering

Wondering if its all slipped away
like the snow on a warm day

Frozen out and
Ghosted.....

Can't sleep
it is over you I weep

Can't eat
the pit in my stomach is too deep

Can't find my feet
not sure what path led to the retreat

Doing stupid stuff
finding solace in fluff

She does not seem to see
I am a diamond in the rough

Can't shine through
makes me feel blue

Wondering if its true
if I ever really connected with you

Wondering if you see anything in me

Whatever will be, will be
but lately its been sad and lonely down here by the sea

waiting for just the right time for you and me

Sometimes tragic
Sometimes magic

This is the nature of fate

The wait can be static
even erratic

just don't panic

Sometimes all you can do is wait.....