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kerryondarling Feb 2014
at the beginning
about 10 months ago
we began as friends
and talking was an every day
(and all day long)
type of thing
i did not know that you just needed a friend
with your electronic kisses and hugs
i assumed differently
    
but you made me feel special
you made me feel like someone actually liked me
you could relate to me
you would listen to me
and tell me you would get me help
you would comfort me
and make me laugh and smile
    
and you told me
you promised me
you would never leave
and you kept that promise
but it is now
and now you are with her
and now you make her feel special
and now you make her laugh and smile
and you comfort her
and you relate to her and care about her
      
but for now
i am still in love with the boy
that stole my heart
with poetry and music and books
and electronic kisses and hugs
and compassion
and honesty
and kindness
      
and its okay
i’ll be over it all one day
but for now
i love you
kerryondarling Feb 2014
I want to tell you everything
But as the words try to slip off my tongue
And get past the pearly white guards
Hoping to slide off my lips with ease
They are fighting an uphill battle with the lump in my throat
And as I try to muster to confidence to tell you 3 simple words
I can’t
And they repeat themselves in my head
Like a broken record
I love you
I love you
I love you
But you will never understand how much
How much I love you
And I want to tell you everything
But sometimes
The lump in my throat wins
kerryondarling Feb 2014
your words **** me
and not in a bad way
in a way that the sharp pain of them
is almost
a d d i c t i v e
like a
d r u g
i want to take your words
and inject them into my blood stream
i want you to flow through my body
i want to be filled with your words and stories
because even though your words are a
k i l l e r
I am already dead
kerryondarling Feb 2014
I miss you so much
Its killing me
I want to be with you
To hold you
To love you
Love you more than she would
Or could
I love you to the moon and back
And there
And back again and again
But you love me as much as
A mouse
Who is captured by a cat in a single pounce
My love for you is infinite
And I would do anything for you
But you
You said we are like cancer
It might not **** you
But its still cancer
kerryondarling Feb 2014
i loved the way you could put me in a trance
with your arrangement of words
and it robbed me
you took the breath out of my lungs
you made my mind twist and turn
you robbed me of all ability to have a sense of self control
i would do anything for you
bend over backwards and fly to the moon
and back
and there
and back again.
you made me feel alive though
you did not rob me of that
i always felt alive with you
and now that you have her
my robber is gone
and i dont feel as alive
and im sure you rob her of things too
and im sure she would do anything for you
and im sure you feel the same way about her
but one thing i am not sure of
is how someone can love another so much
even though all chances are gone
even though they have too been robbed
even though the one they love is with another
they still hold on to the hope that something might happen
because you will never rob me of my hope
that one day
you will love me too
kerryondarling Mar 2014
first you find a boy that has a book that you really want to read
convince him to let you borrow it
once you have it, hopefully he will ask you all about the book
and ask you if you're in love with the main male character yet
he will also tell you to look up different songs and artists
(you love this and love that someone finally has the same interests and views as you)
you keep in mind that he just broke up with his girlfriend of (almost) 2 years and you have to know that he probably won't want to date you
(but you slowly fall for him anyway)
he begins to explain how he doesn't have enough data on his phone to constantly DM you, so you get his number
too excited, nervous, anxious and happy you text him immediately, as if the conversation never stopped
you cry over the book
you call each other names from the book and do their "okay? okay" thing a million and 2 times a day
you talk to him 25/8
you're falling in love with this adorable human being and you can't stop
you see him at school every day but god if you even think about trying to say one word to him your heart races and your stomach flips and you can't muster the confidence to do it
you give back the book and say that it made you cry
like a *****
but he gives you another one that he's been talking about
and another
and another
and he tells you about his favorite movie in the world
Like Crazy
and you love him.
like crazy.
and you quote the poem that Anna read to Jacob
and he says "I'm in love with you"
and then summer comes around
and you guys talk
literally every day
and he gets a job
and you don't talk as much
and he starts talking to his ex again
because he actually loves her
and your birthday comes around
and this is when you have your first conversation with him in person
and you want to run up to him and kiss him when you see him
but you know you can't
your heart races when you see him smile and you just get lost in his words
he leaves and you regret not kissing him
(you didn't even hug him or walk him out or say thank you for coming)
you still talk a lot
he still loves his ex
you two are now best friends
school
you have your license and a job now (SWEET)
and you tell him
and he wants to know if he can have a ride to school
of course you say yes
you want to kiss him every morning and every evening before and after school
you love him
a lot
but he still loves his ex
and you guys start to hang out a lot
(sometimes even 3 or 4 days a week)
and you think that you'd get tired of someone
but honestly you would look forward to seeing him every day
and the days you didn't see him
you looked forward to seeing him even more
and he's at your house one day
and says he wants a girlfriend
you want to say (jokingly) "what about me?"
but you know you can't.
so you suggest one of the prettiest girls in school.
and of course he says okay.
and you set them up
and you tell her to give him a chance
and you get them to go on a date
and you think this will help you get over him but you just can't
you can't get his words out of your head
you constantly replay all the things you told each other over the summer
you constantly remind yourself that you love him but you will never be with him
second semester at school
at your job a new kid comes in
he's adorable
you start to like him instantly
you forget all about the other boy when you're with him
and then you find out that the boy from work likes you too
so you kiss him
and he says he wants to go on a date with you
but then he bails on you
and you're upset
you're hurt
once again
and you don't really talk to the boy you fell in love with that much
you two were best friends
you barely talk or hang out now
it kills you to see him and his girlfriend together
but you just want him happy
you find out that he too,
wrote a poem about you and him
and you find out that he loves you
and you find out that one day he does see you two dating
and now
all you do
is wait
kerryondarling May 2014
you "loved" me
you
kerryondarling Mar 2014
you
i fall in love with a new person every day
and today that person is you

— The End —