Lavish in the moments,
Take each day with gratitude,
As though you’ve been waiting for this,
To tell the sunrise “thank you”.
Don’t let the past control you,
Don’t let your thoughts grow dim,
Look back at the mirror and smile,
For who you are is not who you’ve been.

My thoughts are wiped away
Like crushed bugs by windshield wipers
That never had a chance at a full life
Wiper fluid cleansing the surface
Only to find itself ***** again

There’s a war going on inside of me
My heart and my head on two sides of the same coin
Neither willing to compromise
Sick of selling myself lies
That aren’t even believable anymore

I’m choking on pain
I’ve been ingrained to think that misery
Has a permanent home with me
As though it has hung up its clothes in my closet
Left a toothbrush on the bathroom sink
And a ***** glass on the countertop
I can’t stop thinking that she is my forever companion

They say that misery loves company
But I’m finding that solitude yields warmth
A cocoon of loneliness where I’m buried so deep
That no one else can see it
I just want someone else to see it

Too much pride to ask for help
Too independent to take it
I’m breaking
Hell, maybe I’m already broken
A mirror in sharp pieces
My reflection staring back blankly
As I try to glue myself back together

There’s a war going on inside of me
Choosing the better of two evils is impossible
This misery almost comical
As I try to claw it from my skin
Leaving only scars to remain
Lipstick stains on the glass in the kitchen
Hanging up a shirt to rid the wrinkles
My sweet misery’s toothbrush is still wet
With tears from last night’s battle with death
All reminders that my shadow is always there

The crushed bugs on my windshield a reminder
That death is inevitable
And life only measurable
By the number of breaths that we take
And not how many times the windshield wipers
Try to erase my journey

Take me higher than I’ve ever been
Show me what it’s like to love someone’s body
As much as their being
Prove to me that passion exists
In the places we least expect

I want to feel the syncopation of your heartbeat as it’s pressed against my bare chest
Lost in the rhythm of my moans
I’m needing to feel every inch of your skin on mine
Your hot breath against my neck
Your scattered sighs in my ear
Your teeth grazing my thigh in ecstasy

I want your tongue to tease my *******
Hardening them in between licks
As I beg you not to stop
Drunk on euphoria

My hands exploring the indentation of your hip bones,
Carefully caressing the line of your waistband
Feeling your breath shorten
Anticipating my next move

Create a fire between my thighs
Let it burn you as I yearn for you
Heat sweating off of your body onto mine
Like dew in the early morning
Like a warm summer shower
That you can’t help but dance in

The cadence of our bodies moving as one
Our limbs contorting in positions I didn’t know existed
The curves of my body made to fit yours so perfectly
Ravishing the spiral of your movements
Wishing this could last just a little longer

You say you want to unravel me
Unravel my knots that others have been too afraid to attempt
Like necklace chains discarded for being too tangled
Accept the parts of me that have been neglected
My maze of emotions and ******* up ideas of intimacy
Show me that I don’t need *** to know love

Now, don’t get me wrong
I lay awake and touch myself at night to the very thought of you
******* my body the way that you **** my brain
The highest dose of an aphrodisiac that I have encountered
Deflowering my garden of these unspoken thoughts
And planting a seed of fulfillment inside of me
Nourish it with mental stimulation
Undivided attention
I want you to make me bloom

My sweet nectar filling your mouth
Breathing life into your lungs like
A butterfly hatching from its cocoon
Metamorphosis
Whatever this is I don’t want it to stop

I feel every inch
Of your interest
Examining the parts of me
That I usually keep hidden
Chained in a prison of love
Bound by shackles of exaltation
This invasion is much deeper than just my body

Show me that I’m worthy
Before I beg for mercy
At the sound of your belt
At the stinging of your palm
That your harm is caused
With love, first
And only reinforced through my temple

Enter my dwelling
Thankful
Bow before my lady garden
And watch the seeds that you have planted
Blossom
But remember not to pluck my flowers
For when you do so,
I cease to be what you love
And love is about appreciation, not possession

Sick of settling for flowers
W i l t i n g
Crumbling beneath my fingertips
Before they had the chance to really live
What’s the point?

as I lie here, thoughts circling my brain
like hair in a drain
clogged
nowhere to go
time moves so ******* slow
I swear I can hear clocks ticking
that aren't there
maybe it's just a time bomb in my head
patiently awaiting its moment of explosion
my devotion to keep giving my demons a place to rest their head at night is commendable
maybe once they've had their rest they will let go peacefully
at least that's what I keep telling myself
as I ignore the scars from their claws when I look in the mirror
I wish it were easier to disappear