i felt it tying weights
to everything that used to matter,
everything that brought me joy.

i looked in the mirror and smiled,
telling myself i was fine.
i looked in the mirror and smiled
at two rows of black soot,
crawling with greedy bugs,
that I used to call pearly-whites.

i felt my nerves and bones and muscles and ligaments
snap apart and wrap themselves
into each other and it hurt so much.

i thought it would never get to me.
i thought one day i would wake up and be okay,
but i never learned how to stop lusting
after dreams not made for me.

this word love
burdens me with confusion
I am wondering if it is a mere illusion
a sort of delusional aspect of life
something that makes everything right or has you up all night wondering whats on that significant others mind ​at that exact time ​
oh this world love
burdens me with confusion

put me in your world so I can forget about mine

you filled your house with sugar and salt
and forgot to connect it back to a single thing
lack of awareness continues to poison your offspring
though there was really nothing you could have done about that anyway

And now I finally understand
The horse
Whose heart exploded
In the middle of the race.

The feelings you had for him never left. Maybe you fooled everyone else, but I could tell by the way you looked at him. I didn’t call you out though, like you always did to me. I let you pretend. I let you pretend, that maybe he liked you back, or maybe you never liked him.

She doesn't brush her hair and her eyes are the color of the devils favorite wine. When your with her you lose minutes and hours and forget the concept of time. You call her Lush, a mix of lust and rush. They said she stole everything. You tried to prove her innocent. Hold her in the palms of your hands but the girl born of water and limestone slips through your hands like sand. Your blood clots like cement and any words she speaks is an imprint. You say shes all you know but you don't know anything about her besides that she doesn't like to wear shoes and her mind is always tired from the night before. Disheveled, wild, throwing you on the unfortunate ferris wheel wanting to ruin the nature of a being who only knows nature.