This Feeling of meaningless
Take me to the night,
Where I find my comfort
Take me to a place where my light shines
And I don't have to hide
To pretend that I'm okay
I don't know where that is
I hope to find it some day
Sleeping alone, In my dreams I find hope
I know shelters, spaces open, and wide
Take me home, If that is what home means.

I'm thankful for not having the life I desire
For wishing for the planets to whisper in my ear
I thank the world for those trips Ive never taken
For the sadness, for the smiles that don't occur
Someday perhaps..Ill be ungrateful and not thank you
I shouldn't be
I got a optimistic spirit that wont let go
I thank you for this back pain and migraine
I don't know what I would do without you
You've given it all to me

I work In an office with closed doors
I go out to places I don't want to go
My life consists of everything I never imagined
And Still I can't get out of it
I never chose to have this living
But for some reason It choose me
I stay up thinking about what I really wanted
About the things I would like to do on the weekends
With the imaginary friends that accompany me to
those places
I'm the person that I want to be
But people say you should be thankful for what you have
But my reality is that I wish  I was someone else
That I didn't suffer from migraines
That I didn't have to go on a diet
And I was surrounded by pets
Maybe some day when I die
I get to  live all over again
The Life and the people that made sense,

Life begins to feel like a prison
Invisible bars of society and rules you can't trespass
Maybe death is freedom
Right now it all seems depressing
Work, health, love ,and stress
I'm so JOY-LESS
I remember the times when Simplicity ruled
I give you this , you give me that
There is no real human kind
You're not free to be who you wanna be
Just follow the trends and you'll see
How miserable you can be
In this world filled with greed.

I play this music and it brings me something
Something that I cannot find in the silence
The void that I'm feeling tastes like misery
The missing people, the broken feelings
This sorrow might be gone tomorrow
But today is all I have and I feel hollow
I got things going on but I still hear nothing
That sound, that moment in time
Feels like iron in my mouth
Then I think it's all in my mind
These thoughts I hide
Another day, another hardwired pessimistic outlook on life
Please, let it all be gone any time soon
I wanna feel the music and I want to hear the birds singing in tune
I want it all, I wanna be free.

I will never tell my kids about you
They will never know about that time we created a poem
They will never find out about
You caring about me for so long
I guess they wont ever hear about
The way you made me Feel
How we talked for hours every day
for years
No, they won't get to know that even
with your mistakes, I loved you to death
But that will never come to appear in books
or in Hymns
Cause It ended.. You never seemed to think
It was a Big deal
The love that only I feel
This connection that felt so real
That I thought was stronger than steel
But I was wrong
and They would never know..

I gave you my whole soul
You gave me your broken pieces
You took a loan, you never paid it
It hurts to see you don't keep your word
Hello and goodbye that's all we ever say to each other
Please keep your promises or I'll die
Once and for all, please leave those vices behind
I keep holding on the past where you left me on the floor crying
Even if you said you were sorry, I keep it all inside
My head hurts today, and tomorrow and forever
I wanna cry cause it heals
My heart is so broken, I don't even know
I know life is short, but these emotions keep afloat
I can barely breathe, God, show me the way to heal
otherwise, I don't know how to live

They seek me, they hungry for change
Bloodsucking pervs
In love with my veins
Destroying my life
They come with lies
And they will always want a yes
They wanna win or they rather die
They think I will not cry but If I do they don't mind
I don't know what it is about me
They hunt me until they succeed.

Alone is a lonely word
You take from me and I give you more
Never expecting that type of love
The one that only legends  get
Help me see myself as you see me
The wonderful me that doesn't exist
The shameless, useless me
Rescue my soul from the end
No, I don't care if you go but please come back
Help me feel empty inside
The way you always fill my heart
Tear me and bring me to pieces
So that I could never repair
Just scream, and yell and show me how much you care.

I find myself wondering were I've gone
Its like I had a brain transplant
Who have I become?
All the stuff I used to worry about are nowhere found
My perception has blurred
And now I'm somewhere I don't Belong
But one thing is crystal clear
And from that I cant escape
From this longing inside my veins
That takes me to where I need to be
Imagining places I long to meet
Making my shadows become true beings
And in this place I see myself free
But I can only go there whenever I fall asleep

Why doesn't he want to get to know me?
Or at least tell me what wrong with me?
Instead of making me go insane
For not knowing who's to blame
And If you ask? they never tell
Whats going on inside their heads
I know I'm not perfect, I make my mistakes
Is it so hard to love me this way?
Heartbreak after heartbreak makes my heart quake
I don't wanna care, I just wanna know what the ****
Is going on with you today?

I never lied to you, I showed you my true self
I never covered up any skeletons
You said you love me, but you went away,
I don't blame you, I never asked you to stay
Did you ever wonder what It would do to me?
When you said you'd calm my fears,
I trusted you to be there for me
I wont betray you , if that's what you're afraid of
But you never gave me a chance to show you
what I'm made of
I guess all I'm saying is goodbye,
I remember all those things that you said
And I just wish you would explain
If you have someone else, I hope you're happy
And actually keep your promises
I wish you well, don't get me wrong,
But I would of liked to hear your honesty all along
Not some fairy tale story that didn't amount
to nothing at all

Once again you pushed me away
When will I learn to stay in my place?
Dealing with loneliness and fear
You are not one to call dear
I just want to be close to you but you dont want me there
How can I be so obssessed with someone who doesnt care?
Im feeling tired and burned out
I feel like Im dead
When will I learn to let go of these feelings?
When will I move on?
It doesnt hurt you to see me sad
You just get mad
You are the worst person I fell for
How can I get over you?
When you feed on my betrayal and hurt my truth?
I never learned that those who hurt you are no good

Where is Honesty? Is so hard to find
So people say they look at you, but they seem blind
To your thoughts and feelings
We don't see eye to eye
Instead you go around life feeling like you wanna die
And you hope you'll meet someone and
They accept you as you are
And not be afraid to show your flaws
Instead society says you should sale yourself
like your a product to be bought
And you need to say the right things
So guys would wanna stick around
What have we become?
If not lonely fools afraid of whats to come
We should look inside ourselves
And try to find those old shelves
That carry our true beings
And expose them and be careless
If you accept me fine,
But if not , I could care less

Where is my mind? lost and behind
Stuck on this past that I cant unwind
With the sickness on my hands
And these lovers becoming predators
of a heart that's already ******
Where is my mind? sick of hurt, sick of lying
Waiting for a happiness expecting to be happening
With Lots of stories, full of glory but never coming true
Where is my mind? fighting these thoughts that tear me apart
in pieces, that make me cry, that make me feel dead inside
Where is my mind? trying not to become insane
with all this blame
with all the things that make me scared
when darkness comes It will all come back again

Who am I suppose to be? Not free
Not loved or without pain
Just a recklace soul with a troubled mind
And peace is nowhere to find
How come this world is only good for some?
How come I dont get a light on the road?
Just steping stones
Cast a rock at the cross
Till death due us part
My death is unknown until I can resist
My life and the hardships
Just know I did my best to let go

Maybe You see life as a test
I see it like a big mess
I remember every word you said
And still I cannot Forget
The way you made me feel
That day when I needed you there
And you ran away
I can't get over it cause I still feel rejected
since that day
I've been trying to make amends,
Trying to find some way to feel Okay
Like I belong somewhere,
Like I'm worthy again..
I don't have hepatitis or aids
but I feel like they
Maybe It's your fault, maybe Its mine
ALL I know is this trace of pain
that you left my way
Hopefully someday I look back and not
feel sad when I think about that day
The day you push me away..
I don't know what I did to deserve this misery
I hope that in the end it all makes sense

Keep doing your thing
Say no again
All over again
It hurts now but it will be better eventually
Always say no
This isnt worth it
Everything wil work out
Just say goodbye
My heart will cry
You cant do this to her
You cant do this to love
It hurts either way
Everything will be okay
Just forget about him today
And do it tomorrow agaun
Im sorry I have sinned but I wont go to hell
I will stay
I will fade away

I was okay, and all of a sudden You hit my head
The weird thing is I think I don’t have a self-steam
And all this love for you is so genuine I don’t even care you didn’t treat me right
Wishful thinking that you would show up somehow with a million roses and balloons and tell me that you love me and can’t live without me  But that sure isn’t happening.
It’s over and It happened so soon. My head is in the clouds, I need my heart somewhere up there to, so this pain doesn’t feel so real.
Everyone says is for the best, he wasn’t the one. Why doesn’t my heart believe that?
I don’t remember the I love you’s on your voice. The last thing you said was that you wanted to be friends, I can’t not now, maybe not ever. Sure, maybe someday. I’m friendly with that ex that I swore I would never talk to ever again.
It’s been almost two weeks since I said goodbye and I just wonder when will the sun come out for me? When will there’ll be no more pain?
I want to remember the bad things, like those times you disappeared for days and didn’t say hello, you were so selfish to let go, while I was sobbing waiting for you to come home.
I think you wanted me gone and were doing all this to push me away. To find a way to get rid of me was treating me like ****.
Now, I am gone, alone.  Alone again, alone.
It’s so easy for people to fall in love, not me, and not with me.  I never heard you say those words.
Why am I so hard to love? I try to be a good person, to help people, to love people and I just don’t get the same in return.

Have you found that thing yet?
That thing that makes you feel at peace
Have you found the meaning of your life yet?
And I'm not talking about a wife and kids.
Is something that comes at ease
Do you have that It thing?
Tell me what It is
Some people have tons of ****
And I only feel bliss
And we will never be complete
Until we find that thing
That thing inserted in your mind
That you should be someone,
Someone Important,
Otherwise you've failed as a person.