KAT COLE

Feb 2015

Daniel Magner

Quite

my fingers don't move
quite fast enough to melt faces
my voice doesn't go
quite high enough to send shivers
through folks
my words only capture
the gist
it feels like I'm always
not quite
good enough

Daniel Magner 2014

KAT COLE Feb 2015

The Fight

You have ruined a part of me.
A part of me that shakes when I'm alone.
A part that can't close my eyes for too long.
A part that can't sleep without a breathing exorcise rituals just to calm my body down to rest.
My bones ache from the constant tension of anxiety.
Never knowing where you are or what you're doing.
I cringe in every greeting praying that your name is never said in return.
You have ruined me.
But only a piece.
I will fight for myself because no one else did and no one else can.
I will be made whole.
I will rest.
I will fight.

*Take these shattered broken bones and make them new.

#shatter #weak #new #bones #strong #ptsd #made

KAT COLE Feb 2015

Drive home

I cried the entire way home because of you.
Because I had to leave a birthday party because of you.

You've taken a piece of me I'll never ever get back.
You've taken my life away or whatever it was actually.

Your face intrudes my mind and your sharp words pierce my ears over and over again.

It's been 12 years.
12 years.

How have I not forgotten by now?
It's been 12 years.

Because to me it's equivalent to my limbs missing.
You've taken pieces of me that I did not give you permission to take.

And no one stopped you.
It's been 12 years, and I cried the entire way home.

KAT COLE Feb 2015

Untitled

There is no place a can go, no sight I can see, no smell I can recall that doesn't remind me of you

You've ruined me.
You've ruied any sort of childhood I ever had.

You know, my therapist told me that I have so many triggers that my body completely shuts down on a regular bases because it can't handle the memories.
I can't live a normal life because of you.
I can't even sleep because of the the fear you have dyed me with.
I hate you.
I hate you for stealing my life away from me.

I'm ranting. Trying to put into words. Trying to find my way out of this mess.

KAT COLE Feb 2015

I'm home

I'm home when the only sound kissing my ears is the wind.

I'm home when the only shoes on my feet are rushing grains of sand.

Let the air take me and spin me.

I want to feel the trees on the tips of my fingers and the sap stuck on my palms.

Let the soil of this earth obsorb me and make me whole.

Take me home.

#life #home #earth #soil

Feb 2015

Ronald D Lanor

Forest

as the wind blows
through the desolate trees
of a forbidden forest
and the falling of the leaves
is all that can be heard
everything stands
still
there is no time
only peace

KAT COLE Feb 2015

Look at this room

The walls tower over me and shake me with intimidation.
My bare feet pressed on the cold marble ground.
I'm waiting for you.
I trace my fingers tips along the stone framework, in wonder at all the glory of this capacity.
Pillers standing hire than where my eyes can reach.
Stairs reaching places I can't even imagine.
I wait for you in this ballroom.
No matter how many times I'm invited, I can't help but marvel in the alluring radiance of this room.
Ever so gently you silently grab my hand and we begin to twirl.
Forever it seems but never getting dizzy.
What a gentleman you are.
This room.
Your hands.
My beating heart.
*You are my King.

#ballroom #jesus