I've let my walls down
Only to have it resurrected because of you

I came here in hopes of a brighter future
Only to find so much darkness

I told you truths no one believed thinking you'd understand and accept
Rather than deny and pretend it was fake

I took your betrayal and hoped you would come to see the truth
But you stayed in denial, forcing me to join you along the way

I let you through my walls
Hoping you'd help me rebuild my surrendered soul but you left me even more broken

I can only rebuild my walls
Because I alone may never be able to fix what's inside these walls

B.attle scared
E.ternally bruised
A.nd
U.nbelievably
T.ried
I.ncredibly still
F.illed with
U.nconditional
L.ove

I'm awake,
Thoughts of you
Running through my mind.

You're like a dancer
Pirouetting and twirling
Gracefully destroying my heart

Your gaze
Penetrating my being
A laser cutting through my soul

I don't know how to deal with you anymore
There's no escaping you
You're everywhere

My thoughts are scrambled
With your face popping up in between math equations

I can't sleep
Wondering if you're awake feeling the same way I do

But I know
That you're gone now
And there's no getting you back

So I must move on
And wish you happiness from afar

Hard as nails
Soft as a teddy bear
Two sides that two different people see
I'm hard and mean to everyone
Rough rude and rigid
Never a sweet word uttered
But if you know me
Then you'll know that it's just my exterior
I rust like any other nail
Melt me with words and I'll pool at your feet
Soft and gooey
I'm gone in a whirl of liquid emotion
I'm not truly rough and rigid
I'm not stiff and severe
I'm a sarcastic pool of mush that can't figure out her feelings
You'd know that if you truly knew me
But who actually does?

I tried for you at one point
I genuinely wanted your praise
I wanted a smile or a congratulations
I wanted to you see me and bean with pride
I actually wanted to be your trophy
I never saw you as a collector
I never saw you as a user
I only saw a great person
A person who cared about me and only wanted the best for me
And now I've seen you
The real you
Ther you that only wants me as a trophy to show off
And sadly for you
I've realized that I'm not a trophy

You're not good enough kid
You've been told that for so long
Your menial effort means nothing
And in reality it doesn't
Grow up kid
You've been told that for so long
Your constant tears won't do anything for you
They'll make you weak
Toughen up already kid
You've been told that for so long
Be bold or else
Or else you'll eventually be ruined
And I've agreed
I've listened to your uncontrolled stream of ****** advice
I've sat quiet
Sitting still and attempting to look pretty
And my silence is at it's end
My voice yearns freedom
From its prison of rules
It's screaming NO
It's screaming that you are good enough
It's screaming you're a child so act like one
It's saying to feel weakness
Because all of those thins make you human
And tbh I'm lowkey human

Why can't love be like a romance novel?
All mushy gushy with all that love this and love that.
Never an unhappy ending
Never an unhappy protagonist
Why can't love be as easy as saying "I love you"?
Simple and sweet
Flowing off of my tongue rather than caught in my throat
Why can't there be second chances with love?
To resurrect what I once took for granted
To begin again rather than sitting in the past