so i will collect ladders until
i can reach
and rearrange them

it won't always be this way
a bath of ice
and cold
fingertips
blue lips.
there's gotta be a fire burning within us
some
where

i want to make you melt in my memories so i can rebuild you out of wax and keep you because if you leave i don't think i'll be able to cope

i'd be a river running dry as the sun's soaked up every last drop of me and the mountain that allows my mind to remain in the clouds will collapse and an anchor will attach itself to my limbs dragging me down to a bed of self-pity and hopelessness and your medusa heart will turn everything i love into stone (including mine) because it'll no longer belong to me

all i want is for you to be as happy as you make me and if i can do that everything i was put on this earth for will have been fulfilled and i want to see you smile like your lips are gonna split open if you stretch them any further and i want your laugh to bellow out of you like you're choking up your sense of humour and i want those starry eyes to glisten like they're the only universe i want to get lost in

because i hadn't witnessed beauty before i looked at you and now i can't stop

i want to take your hand and lead you to the place i went to when i first realised i was falling in love because it's a waterfall and with every gush of water my veins burst into song and they were singing your name over and over again and i didn't have butterflies in my stomach i had wasps and scorpions that injected me with the image of your face so it's all my brain could project

all i can do is imagine a world with you where silhouettes of all the people surrounding us graze the sidewalks as a reminder that we aren't alone but alone with you i am and you're all i can focus on and i've never been happier

carnal chases carnal chases
memories of deadly faces
lusting after all i believe
i can't pretend i know anything
inner beauty
harvest returns
every second
burn by burn
carnal chases carnal chases
nobody remembers the pretty faces

pushing for love is scary. people like to say that it's worth it. but love is a bitter boomerang; you push too hard and it comes back swinging, comes back pushing you, comes back beating you to the ground until you can't breathe. true love leaves you gasping for air, but not in the poetic sense. love leaves you tied to the bottom of the ocean with rocks in your pockets. trapped in a plane with your head out the window. inside of a plastic bag. love is suffocation. pushing for suffocation is scary.

i remember how the room went blue
when i laid eyes on you.
like the lucid light reflected from a pool,
and i wasted no time
diving straight into
your waters