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When I am old I will say what I think
And not worry to be thought a clown or a fool.

When I am old I will borrow from youth
As guiltlessly as a child robs the cookie jar.

When I am old I will throw away fashion
And dress myself solely in comfort as I please.

When I am old I will share anger I feel
Instead of letting it take bites out of my soul.

When I am old I will walk away quickly
From those who’s motives I find to be suspect.

When I am old I will sleep in my chair
And have picnics on my bed if I so choose.

When  I am old I will go to the places
That in youth I deemed not appropriate.

When I am old I will will buy stuff that sparkles
Simply because I like shiny things.

When I am old I will sing when I feel it
And not fret that my voice isn’t pretty.

When I am old I will pet everyone’s puppies
And laugh as they lick all over my face.

When I am old I will  stop tearing up like a fool
When parade marching bands with their banners go by.

When I am old I will be sprung from this prison
Referred to as rational adult behavior.

When I am old.

Yes, when I am old.

ljm
I can't wait to be an eccentric old lady!
Drowning in pools of despair
That are almost ankle deep,
The uncaring who go stomping by
Keep splashing me with sadness
Mud that dries and bleaches out my tan.

Wallowing in bathtubs of self pity
I have no one to help me get
The temperature just right
And pour a few more bubbles in
With a towel held at the ready.

Gazing into mirrors of self doubt,
I see I’m not the first in line
For anything but second place-
And I was promised more than that
By the Prince on his white Stallion.

Hiding in the shadows of Narcissus,
I refuse to share my grief
With those unworthy to take part
In my universe destroying angst.
They only want to drag me to the exit.

I will not be moved by them.
I dug this cave with my own hands,
And I will not be forced to leave it
For some flimsy happiness
That won’t last past my lifetime.

What would I be if you took away
My special brand of ennui.
I’d be just another smiley face
In a world that’s overrun with them
And that I could not bear.

So go away - don’t splash the mud.
I’ll get my towel myself.
I’ll find a way to lose the race
And become a worldwide icon
As the Queen of Molehill Mountain.
ljm
Sometimes I take myself way too seriously.  I remember as a child, being told by my mother:  Don't dramatze yourself.  I never knew what that meant.  Now I do.
The mileage added up to just a grand
Not a lot for 20 days,
No crossing of a dateline
Or a continent’s divide.

But still that world seemed somewhat foreign
and I saw streams of amazing things,
That were echoes of my teenage self,
As different now as I was then.

A hazy forest, dark and damp
Where the mist turned into fairy snow
And we walked on in muddy shoes
To learn the mysteries of falling water.

A midas treasure of wave-borne findings
Spilling from a cavernous hall
Pieces of so many lives found
Floating on the morning tide.

Stories of a Nippon sailor’s life
From things that got thrown overboard
Images of fishing boats
In round glass ***** and floats of cork.

Carve the circle with a line
That led to a reunion of
The ones that I grew up beside
But never quite was welcomed in.

A rounding up of recollections
Shared at tables set for eight
Where those left out still don’t fit in
And bonhomie was the music played.

To the ocean of my childhood days
Waves that tell me who I am
And fill up all the empty spaces
City life drained out of me.

A shining tower with ninety steps
That wound around like pizza slices
And tripped me up to ******* blood
As balsa airplanes spiraled to the ground.

No time for wounding on the schedule
Shedding blood but never tears
The leader of the band played on
Admiring a Tsunami boat

Come all the way from far Japan
With cargo of the local fish
Still swimming in the unspilled sea.
A miracle born from true disaster.

Another beach, not like my own
A warmer, calmer span of sand
With jutting rocks in shallow surf
That dare you out to climb them.

Drawn once more to city lights
And the grassy ***** where mother lies
There were other gardens to enjoy and
And contrivances with just two wheels.

How quickly we grew shuttered in-
Just two days in big city life,
The restaurants and funny shows
Still told us it was time to go.

Longing for the beauty of the Gorge
We were met by smoke and blackened stumps
And exits blocked to waterfalls, ravaged
By the fires of hell, and ugly now for 50 years.

A teenage boy with fireworks and no sense
Destroyed the loveliest drive on earth
And bragged to all his awestruck friends
That all the news stories were about him.

With fingers crossed at Mount Rainier,
The sunny weather turned to slush and
Fell two inches in an hour.  I ate fresh snow
Off branches as we hiked, and froze my tongue.

We wore the heavy coats we almost didn’t bring
And cheered when sunshine took the snow away
And we could walk in forests once again
On trails we never knew were there.

A wonderland of cast off parts and metal bits
Became giraffes, seahorses and other marvels
In the hands of a roadside welding artist
Who sold a giant piece to my home town.

A visit with a sister who shared my youth but not my soul
Who grew one way and I another
Leaving not a thing in common for us
Except the love that comes from blood.

No way to avoid the final city
Hellish place of one way streets
Endless detours and construction
Pay all you own to park two hours.

Yet there was the comedy and
Segways once again to ride.
A troll under a hulking bridge and
Poor Rapunzel in the tower.

Passing up the tourist musts,
Visited in journeys past, we saw
The small and quirky things
That make a foreign city yours.

Twenty days, almost no rain
Unheard of in that rainy clime
A lot of sun, some cloudy skies
A bit of snow to frost the cake.

Twenty days to drive a circle
On the map of who I am
And where I came from
To bring it all back here with me.

To this place so vastly different
I wonder how I found a way
To fit inside this giant tumbler
And plant a seed that actually grew

A would-artist long ago
I wonder how I mixed the paint
To make a life so changed, in colors
Blended from Seattle’s soils.

Painted on a Portland canvas
With a brush of Longview bristles
Wetted with Pacific water
To present my image to the world.
                       ljm
Should anyone be curious about our route, here it is:  Fly to Seattle, pick up car, Ferry to Kingston on Olympic Peninsula, drive to Hurricane Ridge and Sol Duk.  To Forks (No interewst in Twilight locations) to Beachcomber museum, and Hoh Rainforest.  Aberdeen (skipped Curt Cobin park) and Longview.  Class reunion.  To Long Beach  (the only REAL beach on the west coast), To astoria to climb the tower (and fall).  Maritime museum and that tsunami boat.  Seaside, Canon and Red beach.  Tillamook and the cheese factory.  Portland.  Mom's grave.  The poor mutilated Columbia Gorge, to Umatilla.  Then through Yakima and Ruchland to Mt. Rainer Nat. Park.
To Puyallup (properly pronounced pew-al'-up) to see sister and on to Seattle for the last 3 days, then home.
*** - I've just done a boring vacation letter.  Be glad you aren't on my Christmas newsletter list !!
 Oct 2017 JWolfeB
Imran Islam
If you feel shy,
Come into my
dreamful sky,
Why do you feel shy, why?

If you feel love,
Come into my
thirsty heart,
Why do you feel love, why?

If you feel emotions,
Come into play
with me tonight,
Why do you feel emotions, why?

If you feel alone,
Come into my
flowerbed room,
Why do you feel alone, why?

If you feel bored,
Come into my
cheerful parlor,
Why do you feel bored, why?

If you feel worried,
Come into my
fearless world,
Why do you feel worried, why?

If you feel tired,
Come into my
powerful arms,
Why do you feel tired, why?

If you feel homeless,
Come into my
amiable house,
Why do you feel homeless, why?

If you feel hurt,
Come into my
motivational place,
Why do you feel hurt, why?

Truly, if you feel me
then will you come into my
lovely and happy life!
Why do you feel me a lot, why?
 Oct 2017 JWolfeB
nivek
I could have loved you
if I had known what it is to love

there is no doubt you were lovable
and still are

sure we went through the fleshy motions

but my heart was far away
and I had to travel there

journey into love
and still am
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