And I often fall,
To tour around into the realm of his vacant soul.
And we are, and we are all,
Occupationally numb,
Caressing the netting of the skin
As we crawl.
As we crawl.

"Never let anyone invalidate what you feel."

i want to live this crazy life
where i love so much that it hurts
but it doesn't have to.
i want to dance
and laugh
and live,
somewhere that isn't here.
i'm shaking inside trying to rip out of this skin.
i want to be a poet,
and an athlete,
and a baker
and silly,
and serious,
and crazy
all in the same me.
i want to laugh so hard that i cry,
on the daily.
i want to cry so hard that i laugh,
only once or twice, though.
i want to live,
and look back knowing that
i was me.
i'm living now,
breathing and being,
but i'm stuck in my skin.
desperately trying to escape,
trying to really live.

I had this dream
And you were there
And I was dying
But you weren't scared
I had this dream
That I was almost dead
But you weren't sad
You wanted me to rest
And I felt the warmth
Of your hand on my head
It was so hot it was cool
And I couldn't comprehend
But once I passed on
I truly realized
It was the energy of that touch
That kept me alive
I had this dream
That we both died
And in our graves
We both decided
To throw a party
With the worms
And ants arrived
In tiny swarms
I had this dream
That we were alive
And I was walking down a hall
Wishing to die
But my heart picked up
As I walked through the double doors
Because my eyes were fixated
On on that warmth
And the back of her head
Came into sight
Long dark curls
I almost sighed
In some sort of relief
I took a seat
It was lunch time
And I was beat
I had this dream
That I wasn't weird
And I didn't live in fantasies
And I wasn't held together by tears
And I wasn't weaving webs
Around my arms and legs
Then getting agitated and upset
When I couldn't move
*******
I had a dream
That there were eyes on your hands
And they were showing me
Some foreign land
Speaking in
Some foreign tongue
I now know to be
The language of love
I turned and grabbed
A safety pin
I opened it
And jabbed it in
The eye deflated
And began to bleed
And yet you still
Stayed close to me
I had this dream
Yet I knew I was dreaming
I still believe
Claiming to be done believing
Dreaming
Dizzy
Twitching
Life
Spinning around
Leaving me behind
Spiders crawling
Over my skin
Into my nostrils
Breathing them in
They're making their webs
Inside my lungs
They're laying eggs in my heart
Then I woke up