I could ask you to stay, but really theres nothing left to say.

I gave my all to this and like a rose, you felt only the softness while I bled through holding the thorns.

You made me feel like nobody would ever want me and I started not wanting me.

You also made me the happiest that could be possible by just smiling at me or the way you say that stupid "hi" when I'm mad at you.

All I ever wanted was a text back and maybe some faithfulness. That was too much to ask though, it seems.

Usually physical stuff means nothing but with you every touch felt so pure and wonderful. Your body felt like a puzzle piece that fit perfectly against mine.

Yet i know being a secret is not what I deserve and you know that is very wrong of you to do. Its like taking a rose from the garden and putting it in your diary so only you can enjoy it. But darling, that rose dies. Its beauty still stays the same, but the freshness and the life is ****** out of it.

That is exactly how I feel. I feel as if I'm in a self made cage that I have the key to myself. But the key is inside my heart and I have to rip it open to save myself. I guess that is what I'm doing right here.
Ripping my heart open and saving myself.

I cared a lot for you. But either I stay and end up killing myself because of you or leaving and being heart broken but have hope.

You have already killed a lot of me on the inside... so saving myself is the only option it seems.

When you start to love the memories and not the current moment,
you realize you loved who the person was and not who they are now.
If they loved you once, they can love you again... right?
Right...?

It seems slowly i'm learning who I am.
I am starting to love me.
Gave all my pieces
to all those who betrayed me
those who broke me.. again.. and again
those who loved to see me cry
I laid on the ground
so empty
so numb.
I had nothing left to give.
I had two options
Give up or build once again.
Oh how promising death seemed.
Peaceful.
Yet building myself is what I chose
Yet again.
I had to fight, and fight and fight
for me.
You gave up on me, yet I still believed in me
And here I am...
Built.

Never good enough
empty inside
I want to touch you
I want to feel you
again.
But all of those are just memories
Memories I try so hard to forget
Memories I fear I'll forget
Never good enough
Never good enough

Oh how frightening it is
the way  you cold heartedly lie
to my face.
to their face.
Oh how it boggles my mind
how you try to save face
and spit lies about me oh so freely.
Honey, you can lie to them
but how will you lie to yourself
honey, I'm called easy,
but what about your complicated mind.
Psychopath.
Thats the word that comes to mind
when i think of you.
Crazy.
Is how you describe me to feel okay with you
Lies. Lies. Lies
Oh how frightening it is,
the way  you cold heartedly
lie to yourself.

To save me from myself.

What you learn is not to depend on anyone.
Everyone lets you down.
Gets what they want, and leaves.
Thats what I have learned