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 Apr 2014 Juniper Deel
MsMercedes
There's something
About rain
That
Always makes you
Think
I love the sound/smell of rain !  9w
I think we all are rivers.
We need a direction
in which we can flow freely.
I want to take an expensive vase
and smash it.
I want to let the shards carve rivers
into my feet and for my ****** footprints
to be a reminder of my daily battles.
Suddenly all of my pet peeves surface
like skeletons resurrecting from the bottom of an ancient lake.
A scream cuts through my throat like a knife.
Three words can describe what I feel.
**Too much noise.
My ears are extremely sensitive to any sound, so it's a daily challenge to tolerate notes that are too flat or too sharp.
 Apr 2014 Juniper Deel
Fel
Unbeautiful, unbeautiful
Unhandsome and unimportant
This one goes out to the losers
All the liars and the thieves
And the wannabe beauty queens

You're never going to shine
Not even for a little bit
So get off the stage
Before the booing crowds take seize
Unbeautiful, unbeautiful
This one goes out to me.
A possible chorus to a song I'm trying to write. So perhaps sometime in the future, there will be more than these two stanzas
 Apr 2014 Juniper Deel
Wednesday
I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep

when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since

when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference

when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good

when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic

when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories

when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me

when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure

when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry

when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach

the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed

Eat.
 Apr 2014 Juniper Deel
rose14195
He was tortured
and humilated
for me

He was hung on the cross
while people screamed hurtful things
for me

He rose from the dead
and from Satin he took the key
for me

He broke chains for me
made a path that I can see
A path that lead to heaven
he did that, for me

Jesus died for me
I used to wear you
like a noose around my neck,
but I was the one hanging

on every word you said.

There are better ways

to **** yourself

but for some reason 

I chose you.
She's beautiful
there on the corner,
as I leave the comfort
of the bar toward the winter's
cold.
She's standing,
sipping on a parliament,
--Perhaps not the best
choice in cigarette--
covered up in an army
green coat with a fox fur
edging the hood and
framing her face
in an idyllic beauty
cast in the smoky fog
of cigarette and winter breath.
We passed brief conversation
back and forth.
She smiled with a grimace
and impeccable grace,
she laughed with a wail.
Terribly drunk and miserably happy;
in a life here between cities and here
between careers.
Here between men she never cared for
but aways loved.
She's beautiful
as she says her goodbye
with a trained grace
and a measured smile.
She's beautiful
as she stomps out the parliament
and opens the door
to a cab back to her
hotel and back to
her half-loved men,
her half-loved home, and
her half smoked cigarettes.
She only wanted
a little relief.
She only wanted
an escape.
I am a terribly selfish man,
but for once I wish
I could have a part
in that escape.
i need the windows
open
to be able to breathe
Exclusion is  **bullying.
Exclusion has always been a part of my life. Even my friends have excluded me. It has been bad, but the only way to get rid of it is to grit your teeth and wipe it out of your mind like erasing a whiteboard.
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