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You can drink and drink and be high on life, feeling numb to the world around you,
But then strikes the realization that your glass is empty and you’ve let all your emotions flood out at once,
And you are empty, you are drained.
You can cry and cry, but it reaches a point when your tears are no longer nourished, so artificial moisture seeps out of you and dissolves at the mere sight of the sun.
Yesterday* you passed away.
No matter what I say..
It doesn't take the pain away..
You were my teacher..
No matter how bad you were treated..
You still were amazing.
And I want to thank you..
Wherever you are.
And you are always in my heart.
This poem is about Karla Topinka.. An amazing teacher who only loved what she did. Rest in peace Mrs. Topinka.
4/30/14
Society's strange,
Throwing out judgments that make us want to change
You'll skip a meal to meet their expectations
A few more after that to see how far you'll go

They'll ask you why you're not hungry
And you'll make up some excuse
They'll take the words slipping off your thin cold lips,
as you look at the food on your plate but instead choosing the water in small sips

They'll catch on to the weight you've lost the past few months
The food you've tossed along with your old-beautiful thoughts
They'll seek to find you help, and you'll turn away believing this is "natural beauty"

Weeks go by and you're suffering more then ever,
You see yourself as something this world would never
Society's strange,
Throwing out judgments that make us want to change
Believing the judgment is hard to ignore,
But never seeing yourself as beautiful is more un-healthy then my words before
I envy
  The over
        Inflated
           Balloon
This really
        Isn't
     A big enough
          Room

Elated...
  The balloon
      Is free
   As I wish to be
      But nothing
Is truly
As it seems...

    I did it the favor
No one ever did me
   & put it out
Of its misery
      Bang!
All eyes on me...
  Sorry to ruin
Your surprise
     Party
Oh, the somber wind blows
the ice and the snow.
It’s a different kind of cold
that chills to the bones.
Bringing self doubt to what we think we know,
when all we want to do is just go home.
But when the world says no
you’re left with nowhere to go.
Lost and alone,
the somber wind blows.
I just wanted to try to write something with the same rhyme all the way through and this is what I came up with. I'm not terribly pleased with it but I thought I'd share anyway.
You are not a demon nor a monster
but sometimes my mind thinks you so.
He held the key to what he wanted to see
destructive or creative was all he wanted to be
black and white infinitely greater then gray
iridescence had no place in a colorless day
The sky may remain blue
for you
but for him
a vein of red bled through
heaven rains blood for those excluded
but somehow his prayers intruded
arrays of life blinked back in existence
and his tragedies evaporated without resistance
now he sits reminiscing on the past
staring at a monolithic sea
of Christian trash.

-r0
 Apr 2014 Juniper Deel
Louise
I didn't want to remember
but never tried to forget
and I almost didn't leave
yet I wouldn't go back
I wish I hadn't chosen
but wouldn't change a thing
I'm constantly humming a tune
yet without a song to sing
Feeling so claustrophobic
but afraid to venture outside
I'm sitting here hopefully
yet dwelling on goodbyes
I refuse to release more tears
but my eyes are brimming still
as I linger in warm thoughts
always confused about how I feel
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