to my dearest mother
i know i'm not the best daughter
i don't talk to you enough
i don't tell you that i love you enough

i usually act like i don't care
even though i hate it when you're not there
i wish that i wasn't so stubborn
and that i could simply say that i love you

i appreciate everything that you do for me
i know you put in your heart and soul for me
although i can never seem to tell you
but i really, with everything i have, love you

i can't imagine how you must feel
seeing your daughter cry
and knowing that there's nothing much you can do
except just keep repeating "i love you"

i always wish i could take all your pain away
it kills me each time you don't want to stay
i just can't imagine a life without you
my dearest mother, i love you

you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world
and your singing is the best i've ever heard
please forgive me for everything i do
i just want you to know that i really love you

i feel like i'm going to explode
and i'm talking so fast and so shrill
and my words are filled with love and heartache
i wish i was appreciated as much as i deserve
i'm blinded by my own breathing shortage
how painful it is to feel like i'm drowning
breaking my fists whilst cracking my walls
i emanate a whole field of despair
and i **** myself inside until i realize that it's pointless
i'm so soft and this world will probably eat me up
the white ceiling seems too bright for my sore eyes
words hurt more than people can imagine

my appetite is gone
the days are so long
i can't sleep anymore
i feel like i'm falling apart

my eyes are tired of crying

Beauty
Isn't flawless skin
It's not crystal eyes
Or luscious lips
Nobody cares
If you have a thigh gap
Or not
If you have a skinny waist
Or not
If you have a D-cup
Or not

Beauty
Shouldn't be defined
It's how your lover sees you
It's what you're happy with
And that's the only thing
That really counts

People don't seem to get how I feel at all
and no matter how hard I try to explain it it's like continually walking into a wall

I tried telling them about when I see people outside
and I get the urge to talk to them but it gets overruled by the bigger urge to hide

Or how I could feel like buying pizza or chocolate
but then I remember I have to talk to the person behind the counter and I figure it's better to wait

I get excited about a party but when I have to go out of the door
I always somehow end up staying at home, no wonder I never get any invitations anymore

If I see people I recognize on the street
I tend to back off and run away if it is possible instead of just greet

I have to call doctor? Oh no!
It doesn't matter, I tell myself, I don't really need to go

People usually don't understand my fear
and just because it isn't visible to you doesn't mean it's not here

But I understand why they don't get me
because who is so excited about being around people yet too afraid to actually be?

Yeah that's true, it's sadly me