I was in school ready to fight some one
As I squared up I got punched in the face and collapsed on the floor
Pain in my eye
I could see swelling as I fell unconscious
Then I woke up and all I could remember was hearing "WORLDDDDDSTARR"

I'm a man that has little respect twoard others land and property
But when I saw that rose it was something rare that couldn't be replaced our bought
I climbed the fence and plucked it from the owners garden
Ran with it through many adventures
I saw the beauty in the rose
It was not like the others
But due too the fact I plucked it
Just like I stole it they stole it from me
For having been the one to pluck the rose I had to face the consequences
Oh what better consequence than to have what was stolen from me stolen
I can see know what others had to go through
But this pain and suffering is to great
How can I live without my beautiful rose
Now I'm crying feeling like the original owner
Just waiting for it to return
Right beside the fence
Without the my roses warmth

You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me
Your beauty is something I fear I can't hold on too
There are so much better men out there for you
Why did you choose me
I'm poor
I have a bad reputation
I am a outcast
But you choose me
Even when you where so much better than me
The sad part is that keeping you with me is killing me
I can't let you go
I know I can't give you every thing you want
But at least I can try
Little by little I waste away every day
But your beauty is the force that keeps me going
I am a mindless animal with you
I know you
I know your beauty has let men into your life
I know you've accepted them without a hesitation
But I am just to powerless against your beauty
It's like a web and I'm the fly
I just can't leave
Until my death I will try try try and try to win you over
Even if it's killing me
I know I should just leave know
But I can't tell myself that none of this love was true
Not while I still think I have a chance to fully conquer you
Someday I'll win
Someday

When do we truly stop being men of god
When we commit sin or when we stop listening
I didn't notice when I stopped being a man of god
I let my whole life spiral through my very own hands in such a way that now I don't even know if I can find a way back to my Lord
I had every thing
I was the envy of many
But mostly i knew I was always with him
Now with a few bad decisions I'm down
Down and depressed I am hopeing he will come back to me
Hoping that with at least one little touch even on the tips my finger he can bring light back into my dark world
I plea and beg him too return
I'm so depressed and hurt
No one comes to my aid
Every afternoon I plead that he'll come back into my life
I ask for forgiveness and help
This is my darkest moment
I want him to return
If he doesn't I have no choice
I have to end it

There are alot of things I want to forget
So many things
But the The thing that bugs me most is that I can never forget
I wish I never did this I just ended up hurting myself and others
I wish things where back the way they used to be
Sometimes I wish I was never here or never present
But that's life you have to do things you'll regret
It's like lottery
You win or lose
But I've just been losing
It hurts to lose and that's all I Do
I want to win once
I want to have the life of others I just want to win
I don't want to lose any more
I don't want to fall short at all
I want to be a winner
I don't want to be myself
But in the mirror that's all I can see just me
Then every thing hits me all the pain then I'm ashamed
I don't want to be myself

Josue was a young boy growing up in a really ghetto part of town
When he was born his dad left his mom and he grew up without a father
At a young age while his brothers where all joining gangs and selling drugs he was getting academic awards at school
Even though his mom never really cared about any of his achievements or was never really there for him at all his aunt persuaded him to continue doing good
So it was from there on that he started getting good grades in every subject throughout elementary school
Josue gratuated the 5th grade with the highest honors
He promised his aunt he would grow up to be a good boy and not turn out like his brothers
But that didnt last long
His aunt died during his sixth grade year and he started living with his mother and his new step dad
Pretty soon he felt like he was a stranger in his own home
His step father started putting him down and threatening him meanwhile his mother didnt care
Teachers started to grade his assignments harshly because they didnt like him
At school he started hooking up with the wrong crowds
The lack of love and the accumulationo hatred made Josue take up bad habbits
Josue started ditching often and stealing occasionally
Soon he forgot all about his grades and achievements and started to drink and do drugs
After a while his mom kicked him out of the house
Soon later josue joined a gang and started dealing drugs
His life got bad after that
He started getting arrested often
Soon no one even came to visit him in prison then one day while he was serving a 5 year scentence a package arrived
It was a package from his aunt that would have been delivered approximatly 10 years after her death
Inside where old letters and achievements
Many of the things inside brought back memories of Josues youth
Soon he started crying and remembering everything
Then he found an important letter
An old letter it said " ill allways be good ill never do harm ill allways be yours aunty"
Josue swelled up with emotion
He started yelling and crying
He started punching the walls of his cell
He knew what he had done
He had become the man he never wanted to become
The guards took him to his cell
That afternoon Josue prayed for 2 hours
After he finished praying at midnight he hung himself
The next morning when the guards came in they picked up his suicide note
It said "I no longer wish to live. I broke a promise a promise that would have shaped my life a diffrent way. Now I have nothing to look forward too but death, so i decided to speed time up and go at midnight. The only one to blame foot suicide is the lack of love. Maybe if I just head mom there out would be diffrent. Maybe if there was something or someone to look after me out would have all been diffrent. I will soon be with the only person who brought joy love and passion into my life. Pray i make it to heaven amen"



This tragedy could have all been avoided with love. Give love not hate. Make this world a better place

Outside the window I see beauty and light
The type of scene that brightens my world
But the thin sheet of glass separates me from what I most desire
From what's outside and can't be obtained not because no one can have it but because I can't receive it
Freedom
Inside, the house is a dark place filed with tears and suffering
I pray that today will be the day I leave
From the outside it looks as if I live in comfort
But inside I live in fear
Fear of being brought down
Fear of regret
Fear after fear
I fear so much that if there wasn't a window I would go mad
The struggle to survive inside is hard
Everything here drains your life away
There is so much darkness no one sees
There is so much suffering I cant think
But through a small opening in the back of the room a glass sheet shows me a better place to look forward too
This gives me strength to move on
And a bit of hope to look forward to
The window shows me the freedom I'll some day have
So all I do is stare out the window waiting for my time to come
Hopefully it will come soon