I thought I saw
What I thought I knew
What I thought was real
What I thought was good

But what I thought
        was just a thought

And that's all it was
         just a notion
         just a guess

a shot in the dark


I think, I thought
I say, I do
She says, She needs
He knows, He tries


But things we think
   and say
   and do
when clock bells ring
and hands strike 12
Are colors stained, beneath dark veils
canvas of dust, that civil eyes hide
and the artist

idle

idle, so idle becomes ashamed
and thinks
and ponders if there is another meaning to this

shameful portrait

and thinks
and does
says, knows
needs, wants

takes up arms

furious strokes

____l e f t

r i g h t___

\
  s
     l
       a
         s
           h
             e
               s
                  \
and

     thrusts -------->

burst noise
spew sweat
drip curses
bleed color

more
more more!
  more   more! more!
more  more!   more  more!
more!  more!  more! moremoremore!
moremoremoremoremoeroerermroeom

And      ----



now

with  heavy  breath

          another


         one more

eyes, stinging sweat, open
thinking, hoping, praying
scared, half smiling
stares


and stares


a

n

d






s
t

a


r




e






s







still                       _


                                                quiet        ­             _ 



canvas of dust
canvas of lies
canvas of this and
canvas of that but
canvas of what?!
and down comes the veil
like it always does
like it always will


and again it is dark

under the veil

Worst case scenario, I end up alive
It's not that I don't enjoy living
I just don't get it
the meaning of a breath
At least I know death
Is certain
and that's comforting
that I'll die someday
it's guaranteed
I don't have to guess
day to day

unlike living

which is the worst case scenario

Snake in the grass
slides stealthily
slippery through
the dry

c  u      d
  r  s  e
       h

leaves

slithering its way
secretly 'round
through the red forest
with red leaves
and red trees
and red tape

He slithers quietly
Creeps and crawls
on his belly
so

l


o




w


through Ferguson
he slides
Scraping the scab
of a fresh, infected wound
Stinging it
with his tail
his tongue

Snake in the grass
Slides smoothly
into Texas

Hex us Vex us
Nexus Correct us

to the cusp of reason
the the edge of insanity
Siphoning tight
in the barrel of their guns
salivating at the fresh prey
crawling in the distance

He's not so different
from you and I

He's just like us
////////////////////////////////////
/////////////////////////////////
/////////////a/////////////////////
///////////sn///////////////////////////
/////////ake//////////////////////
/////////in/////////////////////////////
//////////the///////////////////////
////////////gr/////////////////////////
/////////////as///////////////////
//////////////s//////////////////////////
//////////////////////////////////

Love is the greatest lie of all
It is pushed on to us from the very first moments of existence
To the last moments of life
And even in death
We can't get a break
The pastor says love is eternal
The rabbi says love is tradition
The imam says love is paradise
And the basketful of others declare that love is immortal
That love will stand the test of time
as if it's some giant monument made of steel

But it isn’t a monument
Love is a word
And words sell

They tell you love is a bag of Lay's potato chips
and can of Coke on a hot July afternoon
When you close the door of your new Lexus, they tell you that's love
'For 15 cents a day you could help feed a child' is love
If it's certified, inspected, marked and labeled with a big gold ribbon and covered in little guarantee stickers or the ever cheerful faces of old timey slaves, it's love
And that jolly old man from the North Pole who sits with your kids telling them everything they want to hear,
that's love too
If it feels good it's love
if it tastes good it's love
if it looks good, smells good, sounds good it's love
is love
is love
is love

But that's the lie
Love
Behind the words and the colorful pictures
there is no love
there is only a man working three jobs trying to get the rent on time while saving up some money for his daughters' college fund, but knowing that he'll probably get evicted anyways because the land lady doesn't like Mexicans.
Or a group of shareholders discussing fiscal projections for the new quarter after hiding millions of dollars in unfilled tax returns that went directly into the pockets of a few.
Or a kid trying to decide whether or not to pay a dollar for an ice tea or give it to the *** on the corner,
but buying an ice tea anyways because he knows that bums are *****
and should get a job (at least that's what the TV said)

Love is the greatest lie of all
Because love isn't just a word
It isn't a product
It isn't a construct of human society to exploit our humanity
To take advantage of us so we blindly conform as they dance around the board room table
with fistfuls of hearts bleeding in their hands
All while singing "Love is! Love is! Love is!"
Grinning and snickering as if they had discovered the fountain of youth

Love is not that
Love is a lie
The most beautiful lie of all
Breaking the framework of our reality
Shattering the rose-colored glasses of conformity
A reflection of our inner core
Our soul, so to say,
Sending out a beacon
Of something human
Of something flesh
Something more

Love is

And it would be a crime to solve love
To answer all of its questions
To throw it in a cage and study it like a rat
Cut it open and wade through its internals
Catalogue every piece and lock it in a metal drawer so future generations won't be puzzled by it
So that that love will be so well known
That no more will there be love struck fools
No more star crossed lovers to cry over
No love at first sight
No passion and fire that gives so many reason
No poets pondering
No singers singing
Or writers writing
Love will only be a symptom
And with a prescription you can take care of that too

That's why love is the greatest lie of all
It is
Unexplainable
Inconceivable
Irrational
Impossible
Ridiculous
and­
Cruel


And yet we lie to ourselves
Saying love is this and that
Thinking that love can be defined
That love can be crammed into just 4 letters
A lie that is human in nature
A lie to avoid the truth
A truth we do not want to face
But a truth that we cannot unbind ourselves from

We will always try
To explain
To understand
To know
To not be afraid
But we don't know
And we don't understand
And we can't explain
And that scares us


But maybe that is love
Not knowing
To be afraid of the unknown
afraid of the dark
afraid of being alone
Being scared to say

'Love is the greatest lie of all'

To put on a mask
Is just to ask

Do you enjoy the lie that you're living?
Why do you dig the grave that you're digging?
What would you do for a life worth living?

Tell me then,
What would you be?

Dead or Living?

A gentle sweeping breeze
The fragrances of night
The shadows of strangers
The flickering of lights

And in the darkest alleys
Of the darkest nights

She's there
Her stare
Her shroud of silver-white
Her light
Her smile
Her grace

She's the wanderer's friend
And the diamond of the night
She's the song of the wolf
And the lantern
In the dead of the night

And if you're far from home
Or you're all alone
Or you're lost and scared
And you need a friend

It doesn't matter where
She'll be there
Her love and care
Wherever you are
You're not too far
From Home

Just close your eyes
and let her light surround you
Just close your eyes
and let her take you there
Just close your eyes
and you'll be home tonight

Tonight
If the moon is bright
Tonight
If it shines its light
Tonight
If the feeling's right

Just close your eyes
and you'll be home tonight

Tonight
Tonight
You'll be home
Tonight

Everything's relative" they say
And from way up here
Why would you care?

The mighty oak and the sturdy pine
The fields of blooming flowers and the green pastures of grass
The rich brown soil and the rolling hills stained with jagged stones
Concrete cities that spill out into the valley below
A maze of houses and roads built by human hands

The mothers and fathers working in the stores
and the school children skipping back home

The hopes and dreams of a people
the strife and struggle
the battles
and the losses
the victories and celebrations
The tears and embraces

From way up here they are only pixels of paint on the grand canvas
of The Universe
like a grain of sand in the endless dunes of existence
they are forgettable, overlooked and unimportant

But that piece called
'The Universe'
It is only one of many paintings in a sad and incomplete collection called
'The Unknown'
And that makes them insignificant
It is almost better for them to not even exist


But soon the swift wind comes sweeping down the valley
and into the cities and through the fields of flowers
rustling in between the sturdy pines and blowing past the rugged hills

drifting
                 ai m
                         le ss
                                 l  y

beyond the towering clouds above


"Everything's relative" they say,
but I guess that's just how I see it.