Do you ask yourself sometimes?
What it is and what will be?
Who we are
Trains may arrive in stations
The hands on the clock
Our fingers
But our hands have never been pure
Who we are

How it feels
To feel
How it feels to feel just the way you do

Don't you want love and silver and gold?
What is truth and how we seek
Who we are
Clocks always strike the minute
But our hands toil with the devils work
Our faces never stay the same
Marching forward
Who we are

And how it feels
To feel
For you
Time doesn't give a reason

"Don't drink your calories—
unless you want to get drunk."

Her eyes trembled with tears

Weakness stretches out,
not searching strength—
for another soul to be
weak with

A heavy languor spilled into the room
all she can think about
is the patterned ceiling,
which was a book for her to read
while entwined in damp blue sheets

Mystically shelled
snails in slime
embrace

And in vast space
galaxies spin
and dance the
fractal same

(On flat dead
man stone
lovers tongue
entwined play
the same nocturnal game)

I remember you'd carry me on your shoulders
Watched as my clothes and smile got older,
I remember you held me in your arms,
To drive away the meaningless harm,
I remember cancer erasing your strength
And your hair became shortened in length.
I remember that my first word was your title,
Father,daddy,dad,pa like I was at a recital
But it was less Margaret Atwood, more shakespeare,
Because there was no happy ending to be had here.
I remember the way we wilfully fed the fishes,
But then I remember your back with all the stitches.
I remember you telling me you loved me in your final days,
But things that I've come to remember, are all but a haze
Because the things I believe I remember are stories
Told by mum, and I'll hold them to way past my forties,
Because I have nothing left of you except your DNA.
All the stories of us I've come to appreciate,
But...
What was a four year old really suppose to remember?
Is there really a Christmas miracle every December?
Come January, will I be able to walk any farther
As a man without ever knowing or having a father?