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There were two of us riding it once
But I guess you had better things to do
 Nov 2014 Joanna Dowdell
Erenn
These lines on my neck
Scars scarred of regrets
Reminding me everyday how i’m blessed
If the rope didn't break by chance
If those 'angels' hadn't come in time
I’ll be in a place where heaven & hell doesn't coexist

I live my life differently now
Every day breathing in spores of hope
Everyday with families & friends pulling me back-
from my melancholy past
Every time i intend to plummet

These strangers that i now called friends(angels)
Saved me from myself
When they saw someone from their pane
With a hope pulling end
They cut through every enmity
Cutting that rope of contempt

As I dropped
Head first kissing the floor
I knew then & there
Why my life is so eminent
Why let love end my existence
Why there are still people who cared
Why leave when there's-
so much more to live for

All these answers gushing in
Making me realize
Just like a rope
You can either use it to end your life
Or you can climb your way to the top


*Choose before you lose to the noose.
There are many form of suicides. And all of them are obtusely deluded.
More or less painful or the quickest way to die.
But hanging yourself by a rope that helped you to pull difficulties in life is just a stupid way to die.
So if u want to die, My best advice is wait.
Wait until you aged.
Wait until you can't remember your sins.
Wait until you cant remember why you wanted to die.
Flaws are meant to happen.
But don't let the intent/influence of suicide fool you.
You can never go back.
I assure you.
You can never ever come back.
 Nov 2014 Joanna Dowdell
Ady
I just want to let you know,
you don't go unnoticed;
I see you.

PS. But it'd be great if you could
come a little closer and thus then
I could hold you and tell you
everything is going to be okay.

                                                                    Sincerely,
                                          
                                                                   A friend who truly cares.
Just a reminder to everyone and myself.
 Nov 2014 Joanna Dowdell
Dev A
I don't like this feeling
Of not knowing what to say to you.
I used to be so confident
But our words unspoken
Linger between us.

I don't know how to talk to you
Maybe I should just write instead.
My words have always come out better
When they've been written down
Instead of spoken.

I don't know what you'll think
If I handed you my stack of words
All written about you.
I want to do it;
Have you read them
You said that you wanted to.

I don't think I have the courage to do so
But I have a feeling that I should.
Please tell me you'll actually read them
Please tell me you won't stop
Not until you reach the end.
 Nov 2014 Joanna Dowdell
Dev A
Sitting here thinking of you
And all the time we spent together
The hugs,
The kisses,
The honey dipped words
Laying side-by-side;
Our breathing matched.
Your text messages ring in my mind
Your voice over the phone.

They tell me to let you go
That I deserve better than you
At times I’ve thought of listening
But then we talk or text
And I see the side of you they never do:

The joker slips away
Replaced by the one who cares
The one who always makes sure I’m okay
The one who always makes sure I’m comfortable
The one who never pushes me
The one who always respects my boundaries.
This is the you that they’ve never seen.

Ignoring their opinions
Of someone they don’t know
I follow my own mind
Trusting the you I’ve seen.
it should be noted that girls don't always come from venus, that some boys might be a little deader than they were before they claimed you took their breath away.
some girls have barbed wire around their hearts, and others have white flags. some boys have touched more cigarettes than thighs, more blades in the bathroom sink than the ones in her shoulders. the city might whisper the name of one boy and tremble at the thought of another; a girl might  have a hit list with only one name on it — her own. some boys will **** just to say they lost their virginity and some boys will spend the rest of their lives making love as though they could gain it back; some girls have lost their tears and sweat in the upholstery of the same car that might belong to one of these boys — and some of those same boys are sweaty handprints on the backseat windows while others are fingerprints on your throat, but no matter how you look at it, he will always leave his mark, won't he?
it should be noted that some girls will miss you like hiroshima playgrounds miss the laughter of young children, but others will miss you like an 11:30 flight at 11:31, and i bet you never knew that some boys will never tell you that they miss their father just as much as some girls calling everyone else 'daddy' except for the one they truly need; you'd never believe me if i said that some girls look at the night sky where they used to see their reelection in the stars, but now only see another broken mirror.
it should be noted, that not all boys are from mars.
 Nov 2014 Joanna Dowdell
Voyager
I took it too seriously
you didn't
I gave you my time
you couldn't
I said those three words and meant it
you didn't
I gave you my heart
you couldn't

Silly of me believing in your words
Falling for your actions
Hoping for our future
When all you did was make me cave in and melt
But without planning on staying as my rock

I feel so stupid saying I love you
And even more for feeling so
If you only know how much I do
If you only know how much it hurts to love unrequitedly

Give me back my kisses
I take back my words
Return my hugs
And let me forget about you
So silly. To feel a love this strong yet a love unreturned. Too young. Too soon. Too tragic.
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