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It's been a year since
the water took you
or the sky took you
or you just went away.
I don't know which
but I know that you're gone.
I remember the first time we met.
I told you that your name sounded like it should be a character in
Harry Potter.
You knew just what I meant.
Little did I know in that moment
that you'd become
one of the greatest characters
I'd meet in my life.
See here's the thing:
I've always been scared of death.
Of how it takes
and never gives a single ****
for what it leaves behind,
for who it leaves behind.
And now after another winter's passed
I sometimes think of how
I never got to thank you,
Of how she never got to love you,
Not fully
and of how I can't seem
to look at a river the same
or how I don't think I ever will.
I don't know how to write
a eulogy, nor am I trying to
But I also don't know how to
say goodbye to that
laugh of laughs or a soul
that shone so bright.
So here's a poem, Rup-
A year late and a goodbye short.
tiny glowing squares
penetrate my retinas
and spike into my brain
quick-fix pleasure migraine
[a drug, almost]
six-inch screen turned shrine
temple television:
be my proxy
digital aura glow
comfort and sedate me:
tell me i'm beautiful
tell me i'm right
tell me you love me
tell me you'll never leave my side
it's tempting to think modern technology can replace the warmth of human love and compassion.  but it can't.
 Apr 2014 Jillyan Adams
 Apr 2014 Jillyan Adams
With the weight on the world on your shoulders
Will you be the one to crawl?
The serpent writhing on the earth
The angel before the fall

Will the whisper of your greatest sins
Send shivers down your neck?
Will the kiss of death bite through your lips?
Will remembrance take your breath?

Do you crave the iron blades of truth
The wisp serenity
Did the sirens tempt your wicked heart
Will your penance be the fee?

With the weight of the world on your shoulders?
Your knees dragging the earth
Can you find yourself sinking in
When you're choking on your worth
It's the little things that remind me most of you
The girl who wore her hair in a bun,
Or the boy playing soccer in the  grass.
That song that everybody loves
And the way the sun peaks through the clouds after rain.
Those things bring back the memories of a time not so long ago.
A time when we were happy and free. When we were together.
But now things are different. The sounds of life seem so muted.
And the bright colors so dull.
The joy is fading and being replaced by the deep pit of misery I've fallen into.
There isn't a light at the end of the tunnel anymore. It's just darkness in here
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