I'm lost like a little child when they lose their mother at the store screaming and yelling but someones helpful hand I do not recall; people just watch me run and laugh as I fall..
Where do I go from here?, I stand back up brushing off the negativity dust wishing someone can witness my stregnths and realize that I'm not ready to rust. Because in the eyes of the other beholder im sure they see misery nd distress, I try to hide it with a smile to block out the stress; but the dark circle under my eyes let's people know how i really feel inside..
sounding like a depressed mess ready to cut open my chest, I am. Just not with a knife but with my finger tips as I write; just need the sun to shine a little more bright. I fight and I fight to make things right, with me myself nd I to visualize a better site.
where do I go from here?
god bless the ones who have true friends that will ride or die to the end, and god bless the ones who don't because either way we won't; quit on ourselves or life the war was giving to us/me to ignite the fire that's within our soul to overcome anything that blocks the path so I been told.    
where do I go from here? oh now I know, just walk around with eyes wide open not slightly closed.

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Boring bear with a rose posted on the side walk wanting to give it away but no-one seems special enough to give to, Then the bear starts to walk to find that person but still can't find a boo. So, the bear gladly takes it home and shoves it up the ***

She's smiling, but she's hiding.
Every girl is like the moon,
Parts are almost always hidden.
I learn those parts first,
and just watch the rest.

**-N.C.

First time Xanax I tried that **** today, getting a little personal but who cares this is my page. Took that Xanax now my body feeling extra numb, can't even really get up to eat because Like I said I'm feeling numb lol.
anyway i'm not a druggy just like to explore, I'll never turn to crack or heroine that ***** a killer; not trying to meet up with the undertaker. Just trying to have a little fun, feeling beyond this world rising higher than the sun. It's 3am in the morning as eminem states it, the pill was given to me was not going to waste it.
I just know that before and if I do this again, my stomach will be full instead of starving because this **** is not make pretend.
I'm far from a softie jus not used to this type of drug, first time Xanax makes me feel like a trippy slug *.

When I chose to lay with you it's for the experience of ur life, not for you to catch feelings from just serveral nights.
I really like you, don't get me wrong but my heart has been broken I'm not trying to write a love song. This is the thing. If we stop making love and just ****, then don't you think the feelings will be mutual between the both of us? You grab my hips with one hand while the other caresses my back, I chose you for pleasure you think I have time for that. I rather have you pull my hair and smack my *** just a few pointers, for the next time I throw it back on ur delicious *****.
I am the romantic type I do like it slow, but for now just run the red light and yellow light; green means go... We'll get to l<3ve making when the time is right, right now just be there for me when I need someone to hold me tight.


                                 Sincerely
                                        FWB