If you had opened the door, and saw me the way I thought everyone did,
You’d see a skeleton sitting in an armchair
She’s missing her left arm, from the elbow down,
wilting, as if trying to see something closer, as if it were important,
blooming from her skull, wide cracks… canyons through her pearl bone
and in her hand, a brain.
You’re not quite sure if it was once hers
or a stranger’s
She’s clutching it, digging her sharpened fingers into it,
Holding back just enough
But you opened the door,
and saw a human body made of glass
with fairy lights weaving their way through each limb
and roses blossoming from her mind
and she turned and looked at you
and you actually saw at her
because you were actually looking for me

Your hair was fabricated of butterflies
Gently fluttering each wing
So even when you were still, you were always in motion
And never alone
But one day, one by one, your precious butterflies began to depart
And they left you in pure emptiness
But oh, my darling, you still weren’t alone
For I held that pearl in my hands
And I kissed your fading lips
Because love, I never would have known how much I needed you
Till I realized your butterflies never did

I wanna text you
I wanna text you
I wanna reach through my phone and hold onto you
Because you're slipping away
And I'm not okay
And I haven't forgotten you were the first one I fell in love with
But you have
And now I feel so ******* crazy
For everything I say
In a half-mad, half-drunken rage
Because I miss you
I miss you
I can't stop rereading those messages you sent
when I felt like you actually cared
and shared your feelings
I just don't know anymore
I don't know
You
or you're life
or you're new girlfriend you've put in front of everyone else
Everyone
Else

I used to call you love
But now I can't call you anything
Or any time
You're not mine
But I wish you could be something

You asked me to be honest
But I don't think you really want that
I'll put my hand over your mouth and tell you to shut up
And let my thoughts run wild anyway
You asked me to be honest
So that's exactly what you'll get

I can't stand you

I can't stand your pretentious writer attitude
And yet how you hate everything you put on paper
I can't stand your black blazer and striped scarf
And the way you're growing out your ****** hair now
I can't stand the way you don't know how to talk to me
How I'm an aquaintance now
How I'm a stranger now
But most of all I can't stand how I'm not ******* anything now
Scratch that... How I'll forever be "the ex-girlfriend" now
How you can't detatch yourself from that girl you know you're in love with
Like how you knew you were in love with me
Pity me, forget me, mistreat me
I can't stand you anyway
I mean, you asked me to be honest
And honestly,

I can't stand                          you
                     the way I miss

You are fast cars and fast *****
that are almost not worth it
that I almost rethink before you're in between my teeth
And we start exchanging bones
I want to inhale your grey smoke, breathe in your breath out
I'll wear your hand on my neck; I do love a challenge
That's why I love you

Tattoo the imprint of your jeans on my thighs
I want my eyes to be just as blue
I just want my eyes to be made of you
So when you leave, I'm left in slow motion
Rewinding you til we are both back
in the passenger seat of your Cadillac
Driving each other

Put your hands on my waist, your nails in my skin
The harder you squeeze the more I know you need me
And Darling, I'm bleeding
I know I'm something when I'm smiling
I'm something when I'm yours

You noticed me like lightning
Between the darkness your eyes flickered
In the movement and the night, I could only
                        Still
You caught me among the glow of streetlamps
I was wasting away with the oil

And you lit me
From across the storm
And I was blazing in an ocean
    of you
And you know what,
I have never known anyone
who spoke like thunder
but touched like                  
                               rain

I wish I were a rose
Or a peony
Or a ****, for that matter
Maybe then you'd notice me