deep within the wellspring of my chest
i chisel away
for nine long months i toiled daily
fashioning this beautiful scarlet ornament
a gift for the highest of all creatures
one i once lay convinced might just hold it forever
yet these days
the work is lonesome.
how does one unbuild foundations of concrete?
for my gaze was afixed upward for so long
i failed to see i was burying my feet
to build your monument
and now that you've left
where can i go?

What you see
What you know
In between
what you take
What you give
Living with the residue

Brilliance of liquid gold
Speckled with glitter and stars
Arresting the celestial plafond
A touch of Neanderthal aesthetics
Modern and ancient air
Fusing under the beauteous sky

Sometimes I'm not okay,
and while I know it's okay to not be okay,
people don't really care if you aren't.

They tell you, "I'll be there for you,"
but branch away from the topic at hand,
even when all you want is for someone to listen.

I don't need advice or help,
I'm not asking for them to solve my issues either.
I just need to dump some of my feelings out.

My bottle of feelings has reached max capacity.
I'm not asking for you to give me a bigger bottle or say it'll be okay,
I'm simply asking for your help in pouring some down the drain.

So yea, sometimes I'm not okay.
I know it's okay to not be okay.
But, to be okay, I need someone to help me pour my feelings out.

I don't want to keep not being okay just because it's okay to not be okay.
I want to improve my mental health.

Sometimes I become unfathomably numb.
Sometimes I’m overwhelmed with sadness.
Sometimes my heart can’t take more pain.
Sometimes I can’t paint a smile on my face.
Sometimes I want to take a knife to my skin.
And, sometimes I want to take a bullet to my brain.