Jared Botelho

Jared Botelho Oct 2021

Sitting

I want you to hear the silence
I want you to notice the nothingness
To feel awkward when you make a noise
To feel the outward pressure of the void

Pushing out on your temples
You can feel your brain expanding within
Throbbing from the lack of stimulation
I want you to hear the silence

It’s okay to be quiet
You need not any approval
…. Do you hear that?
You hear nothing….
….You speak nothing
But…
….What you truly feel
In this moment….
…Is at ease…

Read with calm and steady pace
Take the time to breath
Read with intent

#calm #intent #depression #struggle #silence #anxiety #expression #meditation

Jared Botelho May 2021

Family Heirlooms

I was walking down the street
Exchanging thoughts with the trees
Gargling in my stomach
Hungry for the pain
That came from my father
Gestated by my mother
A newborn with pre-determined traits

Stumbling down the path
There’s no need to be mad
A throbbing in my chest
Pulsating out regrets
It stems from my father
Exasperated by my mother
This will stay with me till the end

I have a disease that can’t be seen
Both environmental and in my genes
A weight on my shoulders
Making me feel colder
Please god, give me release

#family #depression #anxiety #mom #dad #trauma

Jared Botelho May 2021

Thin White Lake

A paper thin film boils over a white lake
A black fog in the middle
It’s sort of grey
My eyes are peeling back

The red vines beneath ache
Tugging for attention
I no longer seek

Pours are poor for crows that beneath
Break when I smirk
Upon my face

The red vines inside me rip
A privileged date

Blind but noticed
I no longer seek

Slipping beneath this

Thin
White
Lake

Blackness is here but
I hold my breath
Swimming down into a deeper depth
A paper thin film over my thoughts
Remaining my own
I keep them in the dark

~J.B.

#depression #anxiety #dissociated

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