what hurts is that
you are there
and i am here
and you are not
trying to get
here

You don't look through me like most, you look deep inside, pick up every flaw and regret and make a toast to the wonders that make me, me.

I'm afraid to say
That I know you're here
Liking my work
And I'm honestly scared

What if you don't like
What you see upon my wall
Or what I write in this secluded place
No one knows at all

I didn't think you'd find me
You have me concerned
No one's looked as deep as you
Just writing this simply burns

You've revealed that you have discovered
Something I hold very dear
And I wonder if you'll ever understand
This is my home, here

Your lucid and translucent skin stretches itself tightly
across your old, cold protruding bones,
and you, you've spent years, building up
and tearing down homes
in others hearts, promising fresh starts
you've spent decades, practising and perfecting the arts
of saying what people want to hear,
grasping hands with fear
appearing sincere
but what you forgot to realise
is that the constant lies,
can only result in
the demise caused by
you
drowning in your cries

Head tilted upwardly opened. Eyes closed.
Ceiling desired and lulled.
He is the silhouette of a dream,
Ashes and dust,
Smoke and smoke and smoke,
Carcinogenic and mine.
He opens his mouth to speak,
Smoke,
Shrouded in carbon and yearning.
He is the reason I drift,
He is forgetting who's air I am breathing
and remembering the flames I used to be.

It takes a real man
to have a real woman
The phrase ive lost nights studying
Alll those years of research and now i finally undestand.
My world crumbles as i grow
Into my man boots

Crimson red fills the bowl and I think I'm going to be sick.
With every thing spinning so fast I cannot breath.
Walls closing in and everything fades.
Fashes of light come by, one, by one.
Feeling sleepy not knowing your name.
Not knowing mine.
There it is. my favorite thing of all this,
ah the feeling of pain is gone from before and new form enters me.
Laying here waiting for you to come home.
I open my eyes and see flashes of you and me from before you went.
You walk inside.
You call to me and wait for an answer.
You hear small light breaths coming from the bathroom.
thinking it is me, you walk down the hall with a smile.
the kind that makes your knees go week.
You walk in. Oh god, is all you can think.
I'm trying to look up at you but I can't move.
a cold chill comes over me as you pick me up.
You say we are going to the hospital and that everything will be ok.
You rush me in.
Blood running down.
The nurse rushes you to a bed so I can lay down.
I can hear you asking her something.
But I can't make out the words.
I feel something cold and wet touch my face then my arm.
I feel the ***** of a sharp object go in my right arm.
The nurse says that I need stitches because the wound is to deep.
I feel the thread go in and out through my arm.
And a band-aid go around and around.
After I have slept for two days they let you in.
I can move again and open my eyes.
You say that I got 76 stitches because the cuts were way to deep.
And that I almost died.
I pull off the band-aid and look.
I see over 20 cuts and begin to cry.
You tell me its ok and we will get some help.
About 5 years later.
We have two to deal with ourselves.
Jake and Emma.
A beautiful baby boy and baby girl.
The scars are still there.
Some times I wish I could go back 5 years and change what I did do so I can make it right.