I will be on your doorstep
waiting for a door that
I know won't open in a matter
of seconds, even years
you did love me
sometimes you still do
like in songs that you say
remind you of me
in poems you write in your
faded journal with initials
at the end that I don't know of

Now you've hidden goodbyes
at the tip of my tongue
and have printed white ink
"move on move on move on"
on a paper i won't ever dare to pick up

Each time I try to get you closer to me
you push me just a centimeter away
but centimeters soon turn into miles
but even miles away you're
still holding on to me
hurting me
maybe hurting yourself
by stretching your arms so far
soon your arm will numb and
let go from my delicate palm
and when you do
maybe I will be able to finally
let  
      go of you too

j.f

WHEN I TALKED TO YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME I DIDN'T THINK OF MYSELF AS SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO ENGRAVE A PART OF THEM SELF IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER BUT I DO, I DO, I DO AND TOMORROW I'LL SEE YOUR HANDS STITCHED WITH SOMEONE WHO YOU LET ENGRAVE A PART OF THEM SELF AND I'M SCARED, REALLY ******* SCARED THAT I'LL LOOK AT MY PALMS AND NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO BUT MAYBE IF YOU LET ME LAY ON YOUR CHEST AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO GIVE ME A SUNBURN BY HOW LONG YOUR EYES STARE AND FALL ASLEEP QUIETLY WE WOULD REALIZE HOW EASY IT IS FOR US TO LOVE AND HOW US BEING TOGETHER IS WHERE WE BELONG

you always say the opposite
But I suppose you only like girls
who are shattered and want to get hurt

you love having your claws gripped deep onto their hips
digging into their skin
making sure that the cuts and the bruises you are creating are in a shape of a heart and that
your claws are so deep in
so that when the blood is dripping onto the ground,
you are facing the ground
smiling
looking at how beautiful it is seeing your name in blood

j.f

I dream of your
                           hugs,
                                    kisses,
and I'm loyal to you in dreams
I dream of your smile
            and again I begin to
                                     fall for you
I also dream that you realize that
I want to be apart of your world
I live in my dreams
and I want to wake up
and give you my real love ...
                               I'm tired of imagining
I want to wake up
    to make it come true
I always dream of you
I have no other option
because only like this my heart lives
I dream that by your side
I can believe again
that I won't lose
But I just can't wake up

Love of mine
one day you will die
but I'll be right behind
only hoping this time
you'll finally be mine

j.f

I wanted it to be you
I wanted it to be you so badly
but I am not Alice
and this is not my wonderland

j.f