When I play you
My whole world disappears
With each note I play
Every time my fingers strum
I feel whole
It gives me this feeling
That I am inhuman
In the most humane way possible
I love everything about this feeling
The vibrations coming from you
Run right from my toes through my chest
To my brain
I soak up every bit of your existence
My finger tips might callus
But they’re battle wounds I’m proud of
Because I’m using the best possible weapon
You shield me from the outside
While taking a trip to my insides
Where you soothe my hurt
Play melodies on my heart strings
Run your freshly tuned music up my spine
When I play you
Every nerve ending, every particle within my being
Wakes up

I was so close to trust I could taste it
Feeling more stable around strange faces
But that familiar ache bubbles up from within
Suffocated by the universe again

It creeps upon you like a dark, twisted fog
You can’t see through it, others don’t recognize you
You’re suffocating but you tell yourself:
It’s for the best, when all this smoke is cleared,
Everything will be better
So you sit there and wait for the firemen to rescue you
But they never come
The emptiness inside you is pretty
Everything you’ve always wanted to be is pretty
Beauty is on the inside, that’s what you’ve heard
So that’s where you start to destroy yourself
You think you’re making a difference for the onlookers
But really you’re just killing yourself
Hurting the people around you
They don’t think what you’re doing is pretty
Because all they see is the ugly disease
The black smoke starts to fill your lungs
Making it harder to breathe
You try to reach through the haze, but it’s too late
You see blurred outlines of people, muffled sounds of crys
Why don’t you move? Why don’t you tear yourself from the flames?
Because when you’re not good enough, and you’re looking into the mirror
All you want to be is pretty.

You took it all from me
Straight from my skin
Onto your lips
I let you in
But then I crumbled
Under your touch
My city of innocence
Reduced to dust
And from the ashes
A new home sprung
Giving false hope
To my tired lungs

Look at me
Look into my eyes
MY eyes
Look at them
Speak carefully
Speak clearly
Move your mouth
Tell me something true
Unclench your fists
Relax your shoulders
Just don't lie
Don't lie

Do you know how fragile I've been left?
The stench of used love lingers on my breath
I hibernate through noon to evening
And rise along with the sun receding
Dropped off my world not knowing how to make decisions
An ache so deep, I can feel it in my existence
The kind of pain that can't be expressed through tears
I only want the throbbing to disappear
Because I didn't know a promise meant you leaving
And missing you is just like breathing