Creating,
Is me affirming.
Uniqueness,
Though to no gain
But ego.
A bandaid,
Over being
Less,
not achieving,
More.
Never,
Good enough.

With no words in the air
The one we don't know
The reason, and meaning
Our own hidden fear
Be then so well defined
Screams to surface
To paint a face of guilt
Even if there is no basis
Without words well spoken
Thought out, without menace
Empathy, caring and attention
Spoken to clear the fog
That words unspoken bathe in
And insecure fears do dine upon,
Our ties too thin, two lives destined
Will twist and bend, stretching
Until they are apart.

I have struggled
Words fail where hurt threatens inspiration.
See I'm without you baby
It fell apart and the teeth came out
Caught barely of guard
Entirely confused though
See I really thought we had it good
Stupid as I can be about letting you know or investing efforts too late
Baby, you're gone.

If they will ever know me?
How could they live me?
Parts of Me I wonder

Something,  Someone;
Worthwhile,  Special
Above all undeserved
of negative intent, thought...
Action...  Had not wanted;
To hurt, to be assaulted.
I was relearning then
No simple task,  a decision
I wanted,  oh I did so dangerously.
Capablity in means of measure,
Fell short,  too little, too inconsistent.
So much,..  All there was to give.
I was unpracticed, crude
I had not wanted whats become
Torn apart, insulted, in pieces
For fear of worse I go
With regretful heavy heart
It is for the best

Had not wanted for you
But for you to be happy
Be happy love,
Please know...
I never meant to hurt
or cause you harm.  
I really did love you.  
You should too.

And I'm always tired,
 Not a lack of desire,
 It's just I'm so **** tired.
 Yeah, I'm Always tired,
 I feel down...
 Down, Down, Oh so down,
 Yeah I guess I'm feeling middle aged...
 And that's the way it is.
 Peek a long past,
 My prime in photographs...
 Believe me I am trying,
 He sent me I'm dying,
 No we can't be...
 things can't be,..
 So f hot...
 Impulsive,
 Only f a lot,
 No it's just so ******..
 Quick to Let you down
 Even when I don't wanna.
 Middle age man that's my dilemma...