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J Mar 2015
I seen the sun this morning ,
But not like every morning,
This morning the sun greeted me ,
She looked down and smiled ,
At me .
She told me everything was going to be ok,
And that my future would be filled wih brighter days .
No more long , cold , nights .... She was here finally , the sun to melt away all the ice .
  Dec 2014 J
I hate myself for thinking
that I was the lucky one
when you were the broken one

Because since you've left
There's been a persistent dulling ache inside me
fueling with anything that reminds me of you
Keeping my heart tamed when I hear your name
is just as impossible to keep the tears from flowing

Now I know what it feels like to be broken
but you're not here for me
like I was there for you
J Dec 2014
I wish I never met you .
So I could've learned to love myself more than anyone else .
So that I could've gotten high on the emotion of life .
So I could've known what it felt like to have someone catch me when I fall .
Or to breathe without second thoughts ,
& know my love was being reciprocated .
So I can know that someone out there feels as though my love is valuable .
That I'm valuable .
That what I bring to this fragile glass table is more than enough .
So I can love without any inhibitions ,
And run into my future without carrying a piece of you within me .
If a genie granted me one wish , I'd wish I never met you .
J Nov 2014
It's time for me to let it go .
Let go of what we were
What I thought it was going to be
The thought of you and I
You and me
The thought
The idea of an eternity .
Let go of every birthday wish
Every bit of hope in this thing we called
And instill hope
I'm what will eventually only be me for
Eternity .
2190 days later .
  May 2014 J
Why do you tell me I'm your everything and than say you don't love me?
J Apr 2014
I smile,
you smile back
we kiss.
Every moment I spend without you is a memory forever missed.
2009 .
J Apr 2014
You asked me what I'm running from
My response to u was nothing but a blank stare.
Maybe in my mind I think it'll make the problem disappear into thin air.
Emotions run wild, this feeling is new to me.
Hoping the day will never come that it stops being everlasting.
New beginnings, something u can't avoid, what happens when u feel  your heart is nothing but a toy?
That everything you ever hoped for was only fake joy?
To let u in and feel complete, almost feels unreal to me.
My heart is a playground, with my ongoing sentiments you make trouble.
Hoping you won't make my world crumble.
Yet at the end of the day I still want you there.
Does this sick game of love seem fair?
But life is uneasy you'll have me on my toes.
What happens when we both decide to fold?
You said the sun doesn't shine forever, but does this darkness have to last until the end of never?
4-14-2009 1:50 Am
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