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1.5k · Mar 2019
Perfect < Existence
Nostalgic Mar 2019
Perfection doesn’t exist

It’s a non-existing standard we can define by nothing more than our desperation and pursuit of completion
It’s deluding and is painful to bare, in fact letting of go of it opens up so many pores of acceptance and contentment without hindering ones ambition of aspiration

One shouldn’t go with the other
Perfection is not meant to go hand in hand with ambition
In fact the healthiest more achievable form of ambition is that which exist without the ******* of perfection in its walls and foundation

Ambition is healthy, the idea of perfection on the other hand is dangerous and so mythological that it causes a great deal of inadequacy to those that still hold on to its empty promises.

Let us produce great results, great being the profound collective exchange between good and bad, happy and sad, what is positive and what is negative

These are not opposing forces, that’s what perfection has convinced us of, they are parallel systems of reality that make and break it equally, as one cannot exist without the other in specific instance

Belief in perfection is as dangerous in a mentally ill person’s conviction to jump off a sky scrapper believing he can fly, it’s becomes more damaging the more we believe in it.

Perfection is not peaceful it is stagnant, it’s monotonous and deceptive
In fact perfection is cruel because it convinces is of a reality we seek and pursue when we can’t even imagine

It has no beginning nor an ending because that’d process and progress
Meaning perfection in a reality of progress never was and will never be but doesn’t want you to believe that, in fact the only thing that brought perfection into conception and gave it the nerve to even exist in our reality as the theory it exists on is the falsehood it’s made a home of in our hearts and in our souls, that’s why it’s hard to imagine but even harder to get rid of and eradicate.
1.1k · Aug 2018
RoseMary BlueBerry
Nostalgic Aug 2018
Rosemary blue berry
Red cherry scented fragrance
Stubborn flower found a way to blossom in a vacant basement
Tried to pluck her to grow her in my own garden, told her she’s as rare as a spilt milk that found its way back into the bottle  after suicidal thoughts led it to the pavement
Delivered silence
Her voice was nameless

Rosemary blue berry
Are the words whispered to the girl you want to Mary
Dress in blue, give her a rose let your persistence stain her thoughts like mashed up blue berries do to white collars

Yet be gentle
Her innocence roams the city parks of your thoughts like a wandering toddler
For should she agree to be plucked from her comfort zone
This flower you are to give to you loving daughter

Rosemary blue berry.
Fragrance slid off the sloppy neck of a girl named Rose.
1.0k · Nov 2018
Rainy Reign
Nostalgic Nov 2018
Rainy Reign.

Sunshine no longer ruled
Smiles put into chains
Grey ushered a revolution in the skies
Banishing the blue
As if he knew
That teary waters threatened a breakthrough
Seemed it was a promise soon to come true

Rainy Reign.

We never welcomed change
Flowers shriveled up
Free roaming creatures escaped searching for a cage
At least they have roofs over their heads right
A new chapter is hard to read
When the tears dank the book so much the words become impossible to see

Rainy Reign.

The forest cries
No one hears
Thunder shouts catastrophe
Your new ruler is here
You have all to fear
If history was written, the roses only defense would serve as nothing more than sharp apostrophes

Rainy Reign.

Water is a wish in draughts
A neglected commodity in stable homes
But see it’s forces in storms and you’ll believe in witchcraft

So what can we do
Cover your head
Submit to the seasonal thread
Accept your pockets can’t bring change
And just hope when your time comes
It comes fast enough that you never look transition in the face

Rainy Reign.
Rain can represent a change we have no control over.
Take the rest as you wish.
Enjoy.

Peace Love &Happiness.
731 · May 2020
HATE AGAINST SELF-HATE
Nostalgic May 2020
HATE AGAINST SELF-HATE

Convictions from your neighbor
Parents always find new problems to address
Nocturnal thoughts usher everything you did wrong
Everything you can’t obtain yet obsess
And there’s nothing like being reminded of your most cunning regrets

But you know what
It’s alright

It’s alright to not have your crush crush over you
To only have two of your 2000 followers actually tell you the truth
Like your post and send genuine messages below your texts after retweeting “we love you”

It’s alright
To not have a flat stomach
And skip a day of bathing now and then
To have a long list of contacts and have  more than 100 view your status but to only have one on your speed dial that you call a friend

Hey listen, it’s alright
To spend days in bed, alone
To switch of your data and switch it on a day later to no messages or missed calls and question the real reason you have a phone

To completely **** at social media
And have the oldest version of WhatsApp and actually deplete your data on tumblr, google searches and checking updates on Wikipedia
To spend months indoors, hey!
Better the chances of your survival if listeriosis decides to be airborne
To use twitter for the free ****

Don’t worry yourself
It’s alright
To actually be the real deal photographer when overnight picture takers already make money and you don’t
To not have the retro vans
In black and white
Or the adidas tracksuit pants with protruding stripes
You don’t have to lie about living your best life if your just the best at just living life

It’s alright
You don’t have to have 100 pictures on your Instagram
You can just use it until your crush posts about their break up
So you can go back to saying how ****** men are
How they can’t value you because you laugh at your own jokes
Simply because no one is around to say, that’s the third time now Grace
That while other girls have **** collections you have a meme collection

Baby girl it’s alright
To have Nicki Minaj’s album cover have you question the beauty of the girl in the reflection
Or how you don’t look like Beyoncé after you pointed at her hairstyle in the saloon
How you don’t know what it is that stops you from loving yourself the way you claim to with #Snack and #Mood on your Twitter

It’s called escapism, socially enticed envy and identity disphoria darling
You know what it is now so stop crying whenever your phone is off
Going live on Instagram and having two viewers and no comments is alright

In fact it’s completely fine
It’s alright
To be the way you are right now
To keep a healthy diet because you want to see what asparagus will do to your taste buds
It’s nasty by the way so stick to McDonald’s chips and Nando’s fresh buns ohh the white powder!!!
Why choose to starve yourself and master the catwalk when the runway isn’t calling
Why trip over love when you don’t remember falling
Why entertain rude guys to keep a social life when your solitude was never boring
Why complicate your life when you slept easier knowing your phone could be off but they called you simple
Now they have no words of comfort to crutch you when their shallow thoughts are the reason you’re socially crippled
Braam is dope
Pretoria is amazing
Rosebank is fantastic
but pizza at home with choc chipped ice cream watching the Avengers is just something

It’s alright bro
Six pack for who
I know brothers chiseled from iron that still get the flu
My crooked smile does wonders
These broad shoulder looking men that skip leg day are going through a stage
I personally go to the gym to outrun a dog that escaped from its cage

It’s alright fam
You are not the same
And that’s something great
As a kid you said you wanted to be different
You’re finally here
The next time you’re invited to a Braai
While others offer expectations, mediocrity and FOMO because they can’t wait
You’ll bring innovation, uniqueness, patiences and a true definition of what a human being is overflowing on your plate

It’s alright
Stay real!
Stop hating yourself, it’s detrimental and chaotic. It will take you to a deep trench you will spend your life trying to dig yourself out of. It’s hereditary
538 · Oct 2018
Possible Ambivert
Nostalgic Oct 2018
I’m not sure if you’re introverted or broken
If the purple in your heart is sincerity or it’s swollen
Could it be tears along with blood clashing against the narrow pathways of your veins
If that’s so then you’ve mastered pain withheld in vain
Escape vs design
Sacrifice turned into a shrine

Do you refuse to share because you conserve strength or fear burdening
Your indifference is frustrating
Are your moments of solitude spent contemplating or are you hurting

You looked in the mirror and swore an oath of silence to silence
You made a covenant to never speak about the pain you never wanted to speak about

Emojis and LOLs I’m thinking I passed the test
I’m here thinking you’re impressed
When each giggle represents another slash to your tongue
You’d shrug a smile and oppress thoughts of living in the moment
By picturing the past and how it presents itself
Like a portrait of regret placing you in regression whenever growth or transformative change is brought up in question?

Are you happy?
A phrase in the lane of impossibility
That you’re forced to reluctantly agree to
I’d have a better response asking if the colors saturate better in your dreams
When was the last time you licked the joints behind your knees
And if God forgot your name again when the queue for blessings and good hopes was read out

I hope I could suggest better comfort than “I’m here for you when you need me”
Because that’s the equivalent of drying the ocean of its tears with a bath towel

But I want you to know that I’ll do it regardless
That no soul should exist solely
That deserving is an understatement
Even when my attempts are nothing far from inevitable futilities
Regardless
I know know repeated actions for different expectations are *******
But even Einstein couldn’t escape depression
So regardless
I hope the mere thought of my existence is cathartic
You can stop hurting
You just have to believe so
298 · May 2019
HAZE.
Nostalgic May 2019
Haze.

Cloud formation
9 degrees from location
I can’t see the formation
Of fear adopting me from temptation

It wasn’t honor or pride
It’s fear of what consequence resides
The naked plush of a lustful rush
In the trippy black out
emphasized by my friend’s paintbrush

I’ve never thought fantasy could be escalated
seems I’ve hit a milestone
I’ve shot up a dragon ride home
Now I’m excited by warmth and fascinated by combs
I’ve never wandered the medieval before
That’s why I stuck to game of thrones

My minds been freed
My body, imprisoned
It can’t be explained but it’s nothing depicted in illustrated predictions of purple, red and off key balance as seen in pulp fiction

They say drug use is escapism
Acid burnt down the bars of social anxiety disorders and confines of 3rd dimensional prisms
Left bare dialectical materialism
Molly taught me how to make friends
While your sobriety made you prone to solipsism

This was always what I’d imagined it to be
When I close my eyes and see
For a while I had looked over the wall than walk through the gate
Always drew the solution with stick to sand but never went into the maze
Always window shopped the shoes
But never tried them on to walked the way
Perhaps it’s a common laymen’s phrase
That drugs are a paradise lost in the haze.
Disclaimer: I don’t support the excessive use of drugs but find the campaigns against some of them on the basis of escapism somewhat too rigid and harsh.
220 · Aug 2018
Born a Gift
Nostalgic Aug 2018
Perhaps life is a gift
Or then again it could just be the gravity pulling us down, keeps us gazing at the stars for a phenomenon we may never comprehend
A faith-like system we’ve adopted to recommend
Well that’s what indoctrination does when you can’t account for the source of your breathe
Especially when the value of your life is handed to those who’ve claimed they would protect and defend yet they offer lies and misery in the form of some lie that it’s our taxes that pay for the bed sheets covering our presidents

I’ve never been scared of steel like guns
When used to steal tear my obtained funds
But I guess life is the race of racism, scorn for the different but I’m okay I’ll take my number and with it, run.

Perhaps life is a gift, is anyone looking to trade
I think my package was dropped into my mother’s laps before the doctor severed the wrapping with his medical blade
209 · Oct 2018
Spear of Athena ⚜️
Nostalgic Oct 2018
Spear of Athena ⚜️

Freedom, democracy, wisdom, art and classical learning
Owls and olive trees
Girlfriend olympics cant apply when you reside in Olympus
Don’t let them fool you
Your greatest attribute was your ability to be simplistic

Athena
born from the forehead of Zeus
A manifested source of inspiration and science
A muse

Yet men of the earthly realm don’t see it to be true
Your value, misused
Opportunities you’ve given, refused
Your excellence, excused
With your efforts doing nothing but amuse

Athens of Greece
A place known for its passionately romantic men
Who’s ideals feast off vividly pragmatic sin
Yet abuse and neglect of all things feminine takes the more ecstatic next of kin

Yet it’s named after a ****** Goddess
Speaks volumes of double standards
Hence single degrees of respect in men keep moving backwards
The divorce rates are triple layered
if anything, it voices pitiful slander

To your greatly fought for value
Your biological significance
Your psychological importance
And spiritually uplifting worth

To think your constantly compared to the planet hence Mother Earth
Yet have your reputation constantly embedded back into the dirt

Spear of Athena ⚜️
You heal graciously the hearts of those you struggled to protect
You’ve helped so many love when you yourself struggled to find a man worthy enough to connect
An open book constantly encountering transparency that can’t hold the integrity she projects

Spear of Athena ⚜️

Your passion knows only freedom
Your love, fair and equal like democracy
Your patience bears wisdom
Your body speaks art
And your frame of reference teaches classical learning

Soon one will crawl yearning
Rotate attention like an owls head turning
For your excellence brews like olive oil maturing as it’s churning

Spear of Athena. ⚜️
Enjoy it and feel appreciate it if this applies to your species. Much love
•Nostalgic•
200 · Dec 2018
Boundless...
Nostalgic Dec 2018
Boundless

I usually confine myself to expectations
Rhyme schemes
What people could think of me
And try my level best to do more than necessary to deliver a specific thought...

You know...
Because we are told we can control that much
But not this time
No confined spaces
No worries about whether the sound of my name summons a smile or spark of light and life in others

Especially when I can no longer feel “this little light of mine” shining from inside
In fact now I’m boundless
Perhaps an understatement for random
Never mind living
I’ll focus on my breathing
Touching peoples lives might be too much of a stretch
My arms tire
My palms can’t sweat no longer harvesting fruits not from my *****

A true vacation is one where a break is from your phone
Like really
Stupid device has me typing my intentions to go on an hiatus when each pop-up from Instagram of WhatsApp has me on the edge of my seat

This circle shall be drawn free hand
Boundless
Keep your expectations and acknowledgment of my presence
I can smile towards the world without your greetings and salutations
**** it!
That was hypocritical
Perhaps change in a boundless form is a growing state of mind rather than a drastic change of pattern through time
**** it!!
Rhyme scheme had me again this time.


Boundless.
Change is hard.
We fight norms thinking it makes us different when we do because everyone does it claiming no one does it.

Double standard hypocrisy at its great state of maturity and peak.
163 · May 2019
Worth.
Nostalgic May 2019
They got calculators and rulers
But the measures are wrong
From a scale of perfect to trying
You can’t be too much
He, looked up to, was let down at some point
The fine point of a sharp pencil
A double edged sword
Who is mightier
She that serves her purpose and stops with the comparison
Yes the libra scale see saws
But can’t comprehend  
What the sea saw
The final piece of this jigsaw
When the zig zag of you life line
Speaks life from a smelly breathe seeking a tic tac but your still beautiful this time

An average person takes about 2000 steps from pacing to chasing
the Mark Set for them to Go! racing
In a day you enter more days than you can count, look through more windows than the sun can shine through over an about

So you know what?
You’ve reached countless destinations
Even as you carry procrastination
You’ve woken up despite continuous sleep temptations
You’ve breathed life into your ambition escaping stagnation
And I know you travel at light speeds but here’s a little push proclamation
To practice, remember or distract yourself when waiting at the station

“The greatest exhilaration stems from self realization based towards who one can be and not who one should be”

Peace
            Love
                    &
                        Happiness

                                                     •Nostalgic•
Know your worth and keep it up. Stop lying to yourself hoping others will realize it in due time, if they can’t see it, it’s not a matter of time it’s a matter of sight.?
148 · Nov 2018
Oily stream...
Nostalgic Nov 2018
Did you see it?
No you didn’t...
Your blink caused you to miss an entire existence
Now your perspective remains
Unchanged
Stagnant
Remains still
A lake
You thought it was peaceful
But it’s unhindered
It doesn’t grow
Stretches not
Selfish are you
That refuses a pursuit to truth
Now turmoil bleeds
Unseeded Apollo of the assassins creed  
Rocky benches where of the Forrest Gumps, between the Forestry dump

Are you better now?
Does the air claim refuge in your breathe
Your lungs together build an X-marked chest
Stand straight don’t disrespect me
Don’t let the apple choke your throat Adam
You blamed Eve for feeling indifferent yet you stand with a snake entangled around your spinal matrix
Incarnation is basic
I played capitalistic monopoly with a previous life’s manifested chess piece

Do you dare to dream.
Expressive aggression.
146 · Nov 2018
Short poem
Nostalgic Nov 2018
Short poem

This poem is short
A short poem for you
If life was long  
This poem would be too

You can only be this short
To read this poem

If your are myopic
See in the short distance
Then these words you might notice

Short poem for you close friends and distant foes  
Short poem for your quick thirst
Mirage in the distance
Made futile by camel toes

This is a short poem
Hey tall people, this ain’t for you
Skyscrapers to the side we can’t see the stars

This is compassion for the vertically disabled
That can do flips under the bed and hands stands under coffee tables
Those who’s lack in height is always made subject
Referred to as cute because beautiful is too high to put to effect
Short people, don’t forget, God allows things to grow until they become perfect.
Myopia, vertical disabilities and an Apollian complex. My short treat.
143 · Nov 2019
Grey Matter.
Nostalgic Nov 2019
Middle ground
Surface area
Black lives matter
White matter
No man’s land
Grey matter

All lives matter
That’s the counter argument
Ridiculous
Spontaneous propaganda
Systematic retaliation
But let’s argue it

When you look at me
What do you see
Honestly
A black man

But what am I
Human in my simplest capacity
Yet don’t treat me as such
Yet don’t view me as such
Yet don’t value me as such

All races matter
All others be sprinting and leaving us to be short put and javelin on the sidelines
The corners of my mind can’t handle being marginalized
Where your past experiences leave me ostracized

I’ve never held a gun
But let me be seen as a mugging assassin trained by neglect and blood exposed  aggression that feeds off the spare change in your purse when you encounter me in the passage

You think being called a racist is offensive
Try deducing a sentence from a stranger’s body language as her eye movement and shrieking soiled palms suggest each limb to scream
“Criminal!”
Defamed disdained inhuman filth of the earth literally blackening darker and darker each day

Black lives matter
Because each life scatters when the black blood splatters
When the legs of black women are forcibly departed
As her dignity is degraded
Her self-worth lynched in a fiery dismemberment
As each article of clothing is discarded

You can’t use our religion
Turn gold white and claim credit like how Jesus turned water into wine
And still take our body image

It’s not fashion it’s ethnicity
It’s not a chosen lifestyle
It’s culture
Then realize you can’t do it like we do
And call it uncivilized and barbaric
And anything before your story I mean history is oral based mythology
Never mind that

You’ve confused dark skinned societies that they have pockets too deep in their baggy jeans and a recessive nature in their biology

But let’s speak truth
Psychology states
A bully ill-treats someone they desire to be like
I know dudes who play golf that wanted to be like mike
Actually invested in a kit and purchased a ball
To find out their hands along with something downstairs being too small
You know what they say

Middle ground
Surface area
Black lives matter
White matter
No man’s land
Grey matter
142 · Mar 2019
Can’t sleep
Nostalgic Mar 2019
Can’t sleep
Do you expect me to
What would you do?
Heart-ache and temple throbbing
For Pete sake and hood of Robben
We argued, about an hour ago
But not like we used to
This became personal
It was too soon...
You feared you lost me
And I swore I didn’t know you

I hate this
Every part of it
Every segment of it
Can it be personified
Have a mind of it's own
So it can be filled with lies
So I can hate it’s guts
So my hatred can’t be swallowed
So you doesn’t enter your pie and leave out your ****

I’m hating what these questions have become
Because certain answers we fear and lived avoiding some
I hope you never leave
But that you constantly come
May I be a home for you
May you love me like you did yesterday
So in your palm I may hide
And on my chest you may rest.
This is perhaps so literal.
We argued, it questioned the very foundation of what we had.
I got scared and ended the call hoping to be brave later on. Instead I wrote a poem, something had to come from this, something other than tears.
135 · May 2020
Even Now.
Nostalgic May 2020
Days passed
The world was so fast
To try to convince us
A purity of this degree could never last


We know
For the most part
We almost believed it
We almost conceded it
I remember asking God
A love so free
With my eyes closed
I’m captivated
Astonished by what my sight brings to me
I’m grateful to God that I finally see it
Even now

Even now
How far we’ve come
My heart still recovers
From a heart existing before you
Healing, thanks to a love that brought you

Your past
Haunts you too
Broken and torn
People left behind
A yesterday
We no longer mourn
I see it in your stride
Scars ever present still
But how you make it look with pride
Is a gift only God could have placed inside
Even now

Even now
9 months later
The idea conceived
Prosperity believed
What big mountains failed to deceive
Of heavens majestic slow tease
A happiness cooling through fires
Warming us through winter skies
What the first kiss could only seize
The birth of something pure
Truly deserving and relentlessly patient
Even now I see unto you
That which you’ve brought unto me
Uplifting compassion that is ushered daily
By you and you alone my queen
Unwavering peace.
9 month Anniversary 💛

— The End —