Surrounded by people
But at the same time,
Alone

I carved our names in the tree
Forever imprinted there
It seems to ignites the trees growth
Leafs flourish bright green full of life
Sweet plums sprout out
Filling the branches
They're sweet like our new love
Roots nurtured by our overflowing passion
But even the sun that provides life can **** it with its sun rays
This is either going to last forever
Be more beautiful then when the sun peeks from behind the horizon
Painting the sky with reds and oranges
Heaven seems to flaunt it's light upon us
Birds dance in the Rays
This seems to be some fairytale movie scene
Or come crashing down harder then a 9/11 plane
Ruining the foundations we built this on
Fires melting away the frame we tried so hard to sustain
Molten metal wears and tears at our skin
Only a person in the inside could cause such damage
Or was it the influences from the outside
Either way it's a day unexpected like D DAY
What can I say
I tried to show you beautiful things
But it ended bad like a lost wedding ring
And you can tell me if this ever ends
Was the love we felt
Worth the everlasting pain
Even the tree feels the effects
Leafs no longer green
Branches splintered
Fruits withered
Uprooted roots
And the bark cracked
Splitting our names apart

Hello, I know it's way too late but can I call you dad?
  It hits me when someone mentions your name and I feel the need of that rare hug of yours that could bring the dead back to life, ironically..
I miss you terribly, I can hear you laughing at me right while I'm writing you this, you would laugh that laugh of yours when one of your siblings make a really bad joke, or when your mother hints about how cigarettes are bad for you and that you should quit smoking. I'm sorry, I got drifted away, God I miss that awful laugh so much. Back to the point, you would make fun of this and I would hate it and you'd laugh that laugh and I would hate it, you'd keep the letter and I would hate it as much as I hate that you will never read this or laugh that laugh ever again. I miss you. Your memory is dragging me down again, I wish for a single day with you, just one day where I can tell you "I love you" for the first and last time, where I  thank you for making me the person I am. I'm trying my best to be the good girl you've always told me is hiding somewhere inside me, I don't think she's completely there anymore, just one day of brilliant random advises and lousy little talks about anything and everything that doesn't actually matter, just one more kiss upon your brow, just one last back pat or one last smile, one last hug, one last failed attempt to show you that I do love you, I swear to God that I regret nothing more than taking you for granted, nothing more than not showing you how much you mean to me or for realizing it a little bit too late. I hope you're where we pray to be, I hope God is showering you with more of what you've blessed us with, I hope you're happy, I hope you're happy, I hope you are happy. I miss you. I miss you terribly. Sometimes it feels like I don't have the right to say that I miss you out loud since I've never showed that I could when  you were here when everyone else did, so now everyone has the right to grieve for losing you and not being capable of showing it to you anymore, but they don't understand that  never saying or showing what they have can be way more horrible, and they wouldn't give me the chance to tell them that. I don't have the right to say it or to love you any more than they do, because I didn't when you were here, I'm sorry I didn't. I didn't know how to show it, you didn't teach me how to show it, teach me how to show it! Teach me all the things you didn't for thinking I wouldn't listen, I would've! I'm sorry I'm late. I know I'm late. I'm trying not to be late, always trying in everything, for you. I know it's late for that too but it helps with the guilt I guess.
I am emtionlly paralyzed by the thought of losing you forever.
I keep your advises close to my heart, I'll keep the memory of your beautiful mind and your pretty fake smile even closer and I bet these small thoughts are what will  keep me going, I'll be always proud of knowing someone like you. I shall grow on loving you even if it wouldn't do anyone any good, I shall pass the love you gave me to those whom deserve it. And those who don't, it's enough for all.
You will always have the biggest piece of my heart. Don't laugh at this, this is not a joke and it's okay not to laugh about it, I'll be embarrassed anyway, but it's okay. God bless your splendid soul.
Goodbye? Seems ironic as well. Goodbye.

you were beautiful you’re like a living breathing sunrise. I loved you immensely. But, I looked at you but there was no fire
I talked to you but there was no conversation
I lay next to you but there was no desire
I kissed you but there was no spark
I looked in your eyes and they said you had lost interest.
And i know you said you would never leave me but it’s been 4 months and you love him.
You love him.
Nights of trying to find remedies for sadness included chain smoking on the roof until i coughed so hard i could feel my heart in my throat spending hours in the shower trying to cut your touch out of my skin
Wide awake at 4 am wishing i would be yours forever, but baby that’s not how things work anymore.

It have been months now, and our chat have already dropped to the bottom of the chat list. The last message I've sent you, still unread. And I've been wondering for quite some time, how are you doing? Is everything alright? Any person that you fancy right now? Does she makes you smile like I used to? Does she give you enough assurance that she love you? And sometimes I asked myself if you still think of me because I still do, once in a while. And I know I shouldn't be doing this but I'd still check on your social media to see how are you doing. I wished that you're over me but I wished that you have not moved on too..

Just like you mistaken
loneliness for love,
so I'm fine
thank you for asking