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                    E
                          X
                               I
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                                   T
                                   !
                              !
                 ­      !

ladies and gentlemen this little girl
with the good teeth and small important *******
(is it the Frolic or the Century whirl?
ones memory indignantly protests)
this little dancer with the tightened eyes
crisp ogling shoulders and the ripe quite too
large lips always clenched faintly,wishes you
with all her fragile might to not surmise
she dreamed one afternoon
                            ….or maybe read?

of time a when the beautiful most of her
(this here and This, do you get me?)
will maybe dance and maybe sing and be
absitively posolutely dead,
like Coney Island in winter

I fell in love
With your
Laughter
And your smile
Your jokes
And stories
I fell for
The way you
Wrap your
Arms around me
The way you
Comfort me
And the way
You make my
Heart flutter
I fell
For the way
You looked at me
And the way
You cared
Unlike any other
I fell for
The way
You made me happy
And I fell
For your
Craziness
Because
You fell for mine.

Isaiah keeps me up.
he lets the monsters in.
he helps them try and win.
he talks to me at the wee hours in the night.
reminding me of all my flaws
imperfections and scars.
he tells me how worthless i am.
how terrible i truely am.
he never stops.
the ringing in my ears.
his words, my fears.
his smile, my tears.

Like a spider on *******
I weave dysfunction
in   a      haphazard    way
My web has huge              gaping                         holes
It continues to u
                         n
                      r
                         a
                      v
                        e
                      l
                       
Stops short of beautiful
I begin one segment
then d
         r
         o
         p it to start piecing together another
My web lacks intricate details
that would make it magnificant to others
My web cannot function naturally
the way instinct intended
The holes in my web
cause opportunities to fly right by and through
leaving me hungry, confused and reliant on you
This web is a silky mess
So I'll just leave it be
to end up
on someone's eyelash
as they acquiesce.
Like a spider on *******
I         weave    dysfunction
        in  a     hap-haz-ard      
                                                                ­    way.

I beg for your presence
though all i really desire
is your quietness
along mine
being the loudest & loneliest
souls
of all
times.