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imnthea Apr 2017
who says resting doesn't hurt?
it slows every muscle, bone
deprive you of  every passion, eventually
your *** gets glued to comfortable sheet
and gradually begin to shrink in it
to the point that it numbs and ache
then you feel this pain
not physical but tortuously insane
you begin to think about the time
when  you wanted more
more for your soul with the hint of vanity.

who says sharing doesn't hurt?
it fully controls the tone of your voice
that moment of everything moving so slow
while the beats in your chest thud so loud
rarely that deed doesn't feel like blow
and once in a while when it just fits right
you value the existence of another being
you think of a time when
you were exclusive to yourself
how silly that notion
remaining secluded, just painting your wall.


who says its easy to advise?
well!  its not, to recollect your encounter
peeking inside and contributing insight
to recommend the best while knowing
no individual is that sincere
you think of a time when you walk tall
without  any idea of perception
with ignorant head.

whoever says whatever they say
when i contemplate those says
i would say, they were quoting others
they might have got reciting all right
but they don't know at all.
imnthea Apr 2017
when i write just for sake of writing, nothing important comes to mind. I do admire how it  goes on and on without proper attire, having nothing in particular to say. I like the way it forms   and those almost stories that it relays.
imnthea Apr 2017
sometimes i hear you without listening
when i listen, your voice doesn't single out
and just for a moment when it does
you provoke me to  madness
letting me believe that i am walking in circle
i feel the urge to slay dragon in the midst
imnthea Apr 2017
ITS EITHER :

i am a self centered *****
or they are too good at pitch

i am going crazy in this sinking ship
or they are seemingly decent lunatics

i am unable to convey whatever i say
or they lack comprehension , message delay.

ITS EITHER SOLO TIPTOE OR PUBLIC TALK SHOW
CAN'T BE BOTH, IS IT THOUGH?

PERHAPS,
IT COULD BE EITHER OR BOTH
PREVIOUS IS SOMETHING  I  LOATHE
BUT LATTER NEGATE POSSIBLE OUTGROWTH.

so i glued myself dreading the worst
with unwilling nerve to scratch the crust
this mystery could be blessing or curse.

this constant feeling of  inevitable doom
consumes me but they know, i assume.

so here i am
In this pickled fiasco staying afloat.
with toneless stern face they gloat.

they talk tall and taller
i feel small and smaller.
imnthea Apr 2017
crazy **** is happening
i just lost an hour within a second
and i just remember staring at the screen
this is how i am losing it
how i lost a year
while i was busy asking why and how?
didn't noticed things happening now.
imnthea Apr 2017
when you try harder and its not enough
just stop trying and do it!

when you are not even trying
and  way passed the deadline
only questions remains
what am i doing?
why?
only if i had at least one answer
answer to why i feel this choke?
and my tears just ready to flow
why this reluctance ?
why can't i point out what is it
and after all that questions without answer
what now?
what i think i should do?
why can't i move?
which excuse is it this time?
that's holding me here.
why am i arrested within?
why i feel like i am devouring my own tail?
yet the circle remains the same
and if this is true, why can't i stop?
why this choke is not enough ?
why it keeps suffocating and not just end it?
why can't i just even try to stop?
what do i need to stop?
why my question only have vague answer?
and why every unsure answer have another question?
why that question leads to more questions?
does it ever end?
imnthea Apr 2017
i know my next step
it is right there, as clear as sky
yet i can't seem to move any further
i am hacked
unable to tell
i am not me anymore
somewhere inside
buried in the mess of thoughts
i know i have to escape
take charge of my shell
may be my courage is lost too
in the same puddle
where i kept myself safe
long before when i knew
i am the only one who can rescue me
so i did what i could
i managed to isolate me from myself
and this is as far as i could get
i have been keeping this innocent delusion
that i am fine
no more i wish to entertain this silly idea
NOW
I   NEED   TO   SNAP   *BACK
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