They say trusting is a virtue
I say its a sin against myself.
They say loving is a good deed.
I say its heart breaking and greed.
They say its godlike to forget and to forgive.
I say I am human enough to cry with the painful memories...
They say I am a cold heart
I say its a survival skill...
Years back I trusted, loved and forgave.
Years later I doubt,  hate and punish.
I know, its God's work to punish.
But isn't it also God's work to forgive?
They say heaven is not for me.
I say my heaven is this...
They say my soul will travel to hell.
I say my hell is this...

Misty air,
Hushed laughter,
Adrenaline rushing.

That night,
I realized who I wanted to be;
What made me happy.

Silenced chime,
Creaky door handle,
His shadow.

I ran,
I ran as fast as my feet would allow on the mushy ground.
I ran from the haunting life.

She stayed close,
Ran with me.
She ran with me,
Away from my life.

Soon enough,
He caught up.
Our source of freedom,
He came from behind.

Wet feeting smacking the road,
We walked to his old red pick-up.
My first time seeing freedom.

My first time,
Doing what I wanted.

No one could control me,
Not even my parents.
No,
I didn't allow it.
I didn't allow their leash to hold me from what I wanted.

Starting engine,
I realized who I wanted to be.
I realized who I was.

I wasn't their innocent little girl.
I couldn't be what they wanted.
I couldn't do what they wanted.

I realized,
I was an adrenaline ******,
A free-spirited girl,
Reckless.

I couldn't be,
The quiet,
Self-less,
Innocent girl.

So that night,
I allowed him to take me away.
Take away my leash,
The invisible force holding me back.

That night,
I became who I wanted to be.