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  Dec 2020 ilias
Stevie Ray
A man commits suicide
shooting a bullet through his head,
containing a seed from the tree of life
ilias Dec 2020
My drenched socks
the cold rain
the music playing
our overcast sky
outside, on the rooftop
without any warmth
just the endless
darkness of life
all wrapped up
in my little brain
and my throat hurts
but my breath still
forms white wisps
and I couldn‘t be
more dead
at least for tonight
because tomorrow
I will even die twice
  Dec 2020 ilias
Daivik
Suddenly the sun has gone
Away from the lilac skies
The sky's black-blue
Suddenly the sun has gone
Away from the lilac skies
The sky's black-blue
I've caught the flu
I've caught the flu of wintertime

Incandescence through chlorophyll
Visible via the clouds of mist
Dew on leaves
Woolen skin and
Leather gloved fists

New flowers bloom
Dawn's the age of gloom
The merry days of Yuletide
And the days of never-ending nights

Darkened alleys
Seem like mountain valley
My nose can't smell
My throat can't speak
Like the desert my skin is dry

Fiery heaven
These campfires
Peanuts roasting
I can hear their noise

O! These days of sickened voice.
I've caught the flu of wintertime

Incandescence through chlorophyll
Visible via the clouds of mist
Dew on leaves
Woolen skin and
Leather gloved fists

New flowers bloom
Dawn's the age of gloom
The merry days of Yuletide
And the days of never-ending nights

Darkened alleys
Seem like mountain valley
My nose can't smell
My throat can't speak
Like the desert my skin is dry

Fiery heaven
These campfires
Peanuts roasting
I can hear their noise

O! These days of sickened voice.
ilias Dec 2020
we will count the stars
tonight,
even if the sky is
veiled by bitter dust
he is just the same
as you and me,
an emotionally neglected
living being
fed by the
hungry eyes of
little, unlined people
who are willing
to give
  Dec 2020 ilias
ghost
let me drown
to the depths of the abyss
let me sink in regret
I have to understand
the crimes I've committed
only then can I truly change
ilias Dec 2020
all the dead sunflowers
in my mind
they were drowning
in the vacuum
I gave them up
to see them
loosing their
blossoms
and I felt so
incredibly powerful
as I drowned
myself too
ilias Dec 2020
I am freezing, shivering, I am so cold.
The lights went out long before and the sun is slowly setting and nothing will ever be okay again.
Curtains? Closed.
Jul, please stop crying. Yes, our hands are embraced but as if one of us could ever give the other one halt. No, this time is not different than the other times, you are still crying, mum still shouting, dad still working, and I am still breathing. But I wish it was. Different.
We both feel the tension in our never-resting minds, all this muddled energy in our heads.
The room, yours, is not filled with enough air at all, and mum is breathing so heavily that I am worried she might get a heart attack when she‘ll continue on raging.
We‘re in a theatre, mum is the director and she loves to see us burning on the screen.
Until the very end.
-
Hey mum, I didn‘t recognise you, good that you are yourself again. I was worried you might never again turn into the less-stressed but still stressed-to-death person that you were before your fit of rage.
Jul look, now you‘ve made mum cry, what a misery she created.
Now the sun is gone, curtains are still closed but mum is with us again and you are still crying but this time it is your problem, right?
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