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 Dec 2018 JAC
Tristan Brown
Wake up
       A lot
Drive again

It's simple, but it isn't.
most days don't go the way
I plan them.

The sidewalk of the shower
isn't flat. I can't hit the high notes
in the songs I sing.

I only believe that when I
don't hear them.

Not every problem has an
answer that looks like a puzzle
because all the pieces aren't

always in the box. Sometimes,
my pen goes dry.

Scientists blame a god they don't
believe in for problems
without an answer.

When I'm given a problem I can't
find an answer to, I look up
"You know what to do."
 Dec 2018 JAC
want you to hold me as
tight as you hold on to a lie

clinging to it with coveted life
yearn for me
hold my thighs over your
shoulders like an emotional burden
ravage yourself through me
while you quench your thirst
for forbidden honeydew
while i continue to regret meeting
 Dec 2018 JAC
If this is my last resort, why are you opening so many doors?
Why are you still reaching out to me?

Lost doesn’t even begin to describe it
We’re stuck in a glass maze
Everywhere I look, I can see you,
But all I can touch is cold, and I leave fingerprints behind

You told me to be the storm, forthcoming
Just a warning, I’m coming for you
Because you left without me and you’re so ******* far

You crashed into me in ways I did not give you permission to
Oh, sweet combustion
I am not a mechanic and you did not try to save me

Girl is a catastrophe, but my God is she still kicking
I’ve lost my footing, I still can’t reach your hand

You’ve taught me that I need to love someone enough to forgive them
I need to walk away with a broken heart and not apologize
But I can’t find common ground

Please rope me into the stars you promised
Show me the angels that fell and left you in their wake
Patch my spacesuit before I bleed infinity and really mean it this time

I’m sorry I’m apologizing again, but you deserve it
I wasn’t listening when you told me not to let go of the tether
I was reaching for the atmosphere
I forgot what fresh air tastes like
Please take me home, now.
Please comment :)
 Dec 2018 JAC
 Dec 2018 JAC
She had a dissembling way
about her.
agenda concealed and opaque as nightfall.
her smile
making me wish i left sooner.
 Nov 2018 JAC
the birds were perched up
atop of the Rite Aide awning
they fly in twos descending toward
the local pizza shop
with the faded awning
tearing at the seams

trying to make sense of it all..
 Nov 2018 JAC
One day, when you had made up your mind
When you had given up on your grandfather's graveyard of broken down cars
When you decided I had been alone long enough to burn myself out
You vanished.

Mother was the voice in your head promising that nothing would be easy
Our sister is the one telling you to get a running start
And I was whispering, "Be careful," but I've watched you
I can promise that you never heard me

My coat was still in my hand as I walked out of school
My hand meant to throw it around my shoulders and zip it up
It was freezing
My hand forgot

I keep telling myself that she killed you
But I know that isn't true.
I know your soul got all mixed around, made some wrong turns
It isn't fair to believe that she loved you.
Believing that she understood all of the cracks in your skin just like I did hurts worse than the spot on my couch you don't take up anymore

The last time I saw you, you were buried in some sort of library
Some sort of maze you built around yourself so you wouldn't have to escape
I left you
But I can't help imagining someone dropped a cigarette,
Your mind ignited and fell to ashes

I hate you, because this was not a love story.
Please Comment :)
 Nov 2018 JAC
My bones are made of wood so burn me down

I can’t believe she made me ask her father’s approval
I was furious until I rang his doorbell
There was so much more of her to fall in love with
I met the old dog she always talked about
And I saw the rose bush she planted as a kid
I saw her voice in his livingroom

You looked like crap, but I said you looked beautiful anyway

For whatever reason, humans built cities and monuments and churches
People were doing all of this building and we were doing all of this running away

Wrap yourself around me
Make me brand new
And unravel what you have created

I am screaming, “choose me instead” but you aren’t here to listen
This is a brick wall that you aren’t on the other side of
You fell in love with someone else again

I want to slow this down so you last forever
Your chest like the ocean I grew up next to
Your fingertips made constellations on my arms
You made infinite feel real
This is like breathing for the first time
Please comment :)
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