Love is a choice not just an emotion,

It is not just a feeling overnight;

It is as fast as the speed of light.

Love is chaotic that is true,

It feels like Heaven and hurts like Hell.

Scarier and scarier it gets
Heavier and heavier the feelings get
Harder and harder it gets to breathe,

Tighter and tighter the constriction gets
Louder and louder it speaks
Darker and darker the shades gets;

Consumed with so much
Like quicksand that sinks
You start fighting but keep sinking.

You scream, but can't be heard
You smile with your mask on
You stopped crying, but tears keep falling,

You stare blankly
You see nothing
Feel nothing;

Within that darkness
I see how horrifying, how destructive and how poisonious i can get.

I plead with myself to surpress it
To not let her out
To not bring her out,

For she will never be stable
She will never stop
She will destroy everything;

The demons she has are much worse
And everyday, she whispers
"I will come out."

It is as silent as night
It has no cue and it has no hue,

You have no clue of how to handle it;

It is not a choice, but it is the darkest part of emotions bottled up.

It comes as a wolf under sheep's wool, it comes at your brightest moments,

It comes undone and done at the same time that leaves you empty;

You are then left with darkness with no light, no hope and no end.

Sometimes I see everything.
Often to much in color,
To vivid,
To bright,
Blinding actually.

Then sometimes I see nothing at all.
Total absence of light,
To dark,
To secretive
Just dull aches.

Remnants of the person I used to be

You knew how to distract me with your love,

The way, you showed me what it's like to be colorful;

To be out of the gray.

You gave me a reason to stop my hatred,

You gave me a moment where it seemed bright;

You burned out from too much distraction and left.

That gave me a hole in my heart and i am once again hateful.